Toddle On

Tangled

2012-01-16T17:59:00.000-08:00

I've spent the day untangling.

Literally and figuratively.

First, of all, do I even really need to say it? The tree.

Second of all, my heart's just been a big ol' tangled mess. I needed to take a minute and try to work out the knot. Part of the knot is obvious. My mom is sick. And she is sad. And I'm not there. I struggle every day feeling guilty about not being there, while at the same time feeling so tethered to my life here. I've learned a little skill over the last year called "healthy compartmentalization". I've been using it. But, I think some of my file drawers were starting to spill over.

Another part of the knot has to do with my parenting. Just as with my house and not feeling caught up from the holidays, my ability to intentionally parent has been very low. This happens to me sometimes. Surely I'm not the only one, right? There are times when, for whatever reason, I simply take my hands off the parenting wheel and slip into autopilot. My autopilot is no one you'd like to know.

Coming to this realization is never fun or easy for me. It usually begins with a lot of grumbling about "those kids". And I get confused about all the outbursts and wonder why I'm locked in a power struggle over every single thing. I begin to pray, "Lord, what can I do with THESE kids?" Why don't I see it before this point? Why have I not learned what He's going to tell me every single time? It is always, always time to check my own heart. In the past, I spent a lot of time resentful of this. Don't worry about my saying that in front of God...He already knows...we've dealt with it. Now, I feel genuine sorrow over time lost.

The thing is, it is not an intentional meanness or choosing to be frustrated. It always leaks out when I am not mindful of the condition of my heart. And usually, I tune out my heart when it is in considerable pain. It has been a long time since I have been in this place. And this time my children have paid the price. Nothing makes me more miserable than the thought of that.

I'm having trouble sitting with Him. I don't know what to say. My own pain, the pain of my mom, the pain of my sisters and brother. It's all just too much. And it's not that I'm mad at Him. I have learned to the core of my being about his sovereignty. He gives and He takes. He loves me more than I can ever imagine and always has my best in mind. And all for His glory. I know. But my human heart is so weary. I'm out of words to say to Him. Except for an occasional squeaky "Help me..."

He is working, though. No matter my inability to speak to Him, He is still working. And I can see it, and I know my heart should swell with joy. But the old heart is just not cooperating right now. I still count the gifts, everyday. Even though the feeling of joy is not there as it has been in days past, I still thank Him. And I try to remember that sorrow lasts for the night.

The morning will always come.

Totally forgot a title...

2012-01-13T17:38:00.000-08:00

Listen.

I don't even know where to start. I think, probably, I should start with the fact that 2/3 of my Christmas tree is still standing in my family room. And yes, you read that right, 2/3 of my Christmas tree. Some of you may remember I don't exactly have stellar luck when it comes to Christmas Trees. This year did not disappoint. After I lugged her down from the attic, put her all together, and connected all her plugs, O. Christmas Tree rewarded me with being only half lit. I tried everything short of beating the tree into submission, all to no avail. Finally, I unceremoniously draped some independent lights on the front of the tree (yes, just the front!) and called it a day. Two days later my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I decided we'd be spending Christmas in Knoxville. All decorating came to a halt. When we returned home and I announced it was time to take the tree down, Drew cried. "But we haven't even put any ornaments on it! And we didn't even get to have Christmas at this house!" And so, on January 2nd we hung ornaments on the tree. Only the non-breakables, and they mainly hung 3 feet and under.

I have decided I will not be outwitted by the pre-lit Christmas tree manufacturing industry. It is ridiculous to throw away a whole tree just because the lights are burnt out. (No offense if you've done this...) It's a great tree-really nice shape, easy-ish to put together. I made a plan to just remove the pre-lit lights from the tree. Next year I will just string it with regular lights. Well. I took off the smallest piece, the very top. ONE HOUR AND A HALF later, I had finally removed all the lights. ONE HOUR AND A HALF. Did I mention my hands were bleeding actual blood?

I'll be damned if I'm going to be bested by a Christmas tree. You best believe that in honor of the great work done by Martin Luther King, Jr., I'll be spending the weekend teaching my tree a thing or two about Civil Rights. Mine, that is. Like my right to not throw away a whole tree.

And that's just the beginning.

Tomorrow I'll tell you all about our heater. And our duct work. And all of my regrets about not taking the vocational track in high school.

Play it again, Mom

2012-01-05T18:30:00.001-08:00

It's the end of the day and I bear a striking resemblance to Roseanne, circa 1990, in both word and deed.

It's been a wear your bathrobe all day, scream your head off all day, kind of day.

Frankly, I'm a little let down. When I woke up this morning I actually didn't feel like I'd been hit by a truck. Which is saying something since I spent the night on high alert. Drew had some, um, digestive issues before bed, and I was worried we were brewing a full blown stomach bug. So, I spent the night like the mother of a newborn who jolts awake every time their baby moves. Don't be fooled into thinking it was deep love that motivated my vigil. I did not want to change the sheets in the middle of the night.

Anyway. I woke up feeling pretty good. No school today so we could move at a leisurely pace. Fixed breakfast, turned on PBS, and moved on to my to-do list. On my to-do list was a call I was so loathe to make. It was a call to the IT department at the fine educational institution I attend. Fact one about me: I HATE talking on the phone. And I super hate making any kind of service call. You would not believe the amount of self-talk that goes on before I dial the numbers. Fact two about me: I'm terrified of any and all IT people. This is because, it has been my experience, they all think I'm an idiot. And, to be fair, I'm not exactly swift when it comes to matters of technology. I can do the basics, but past that it all just swirls together and my eyes glaze over.

I made the call. Turns out my birthdate was wrong in the system. Apparently this causes quite a problem. And also, apparently, the place to work is the Academic Records office because they don't start answering their phones until 10 a.m.

In the midst of all the phone fun was the never ending nightmare that is the potty training of my daughter. Does that sound a little dramatic?? I invite you here. Come and see. I think you might back down off your initial response. By the time I fixed lunch and no one ate it after melting down over the hunger of it all, I was over.it. I put Emily down for a nap, implored Drew to find something to do, read approximately 2 pages of my book club book and slipped into a delicious coma. For around 15 minutes. Then Drew came in to show me he had put all of his Toy Story toys in a garbage bag "just like Andy". Jesus take the wheel...

After nap time we had a birthday party for Grover. Birthday parties for stuffed animals is all the rage at my house right now. I decided to quit stressing for a few minutes and try to have some fun. (I was in major panic mode over all sorts of minutiae today...) I have some serious mom guilt about the fact that I don't really enjoy playing with my kids. Now, give me a craft, or coloring, or a game, and I'm all in. But, just random playing...I'm no good at it. And don't tell me not to feel guilty. I take that about as well as I took being told to "just relax" when I was trying to nurse an infant or two who screamed their ever-loving heads off.

Today, though, I stopped feeling guilty. Want to know why? Because my son is a tyrant. I don't like to play with him because I'm always in trouble for doing it wrong!! It finally dawned on my when he said, "No laughing at this birthday party!" Really?? No laughing at a birthday party? I am SO out of here, then. I was just trying to liven things up with a little "cha cha cha" thrown into the birthday song. Emily thought it was hilarious. Of course, she's the one who got us in trouble...

So, no more guilt. No more will I feel guilty as I mindlessly peruse Pinterest with Drew grabbing at me and saying, "Mom, come play Power Rangers with me." We all know I'd screw it all up and the bad guys would win.

The Potty Chronicles

2012-01-03T05:04:00.000-08:00

I hope you'll forgive me as I jump around in chronology with my posts. I still want to write about Christmas, and even catch up on some things I missed during my hiatus. Today, though, it's all about the potty. It's real life, people.

Emily has been talking about the potty for a few months now. Off and on we've given it a shot and it has been nothing short of disastrous. My little firecracker is scared to death!! I'll be honest, I did not see this coming. She is so feisty and sure of herself. (Just last night Big Dan and I were talking about how to help her keep that. How to avoid the world beating it out of her. Not that we've experienced that or anything...) But, you bring up the potty and she is a weepy mess. So, I shelved it. And, to be REALLY honest, I was totally fine with that. I was not ready myself. Having a potty trained toddler is a total game changer. I didn't know that the first time around. Now I know. The ease of throwing said toddler in the car and running errands has vanished. It means LOTS of stops in public bathrooms (and we all know how I feel about that), and lots of changes of clothes in the diaper bag.

I mean, I can do it. I've done it before. I just don't relish the thought.

Over the last several weeks, however, Em has been telling me every time she goes in her diaper. Pretty much a sign she is ready. I realized after our false starts that I would need to approach training her very differently than I approached training her brother. For him, if he refused to go, I could threaten to put a diaper back on him and he would be motivated. Emily is more like, "Yes, please, put the diaper back on so I can go about my business!" So, step one: Diapers are not an option. I have given her other choices such as, the totally nude option...undies only...and, of course, commando. She is much more proficient at pulling down her pants than Drew was, so I'm using that as a "fun" part of the process.

Girl is stubborn. The bottom (sorry...) line is, I basically have to sit her on the potty until she goes, which can be a very lengthy process. I know, I know. Most books say this is a terrible idea. But I burned all those books in my parenting book burning party, so I wouldn't know. She has had some good successes. And we hoop and holler and hand out chocolate anytime it happens. I know she is proud when she goes, but I think she is still more scared than anything else.

As evidenced by the fact that she went almost all day without going yesterday. I took off her pjs and diaper at 9:30 (it was my last day to be lazy...) and she stayed dry from then until I put her down for a nap at 12:30. So, yay, for staying dry, but I'm not sure not going AT ALL is a great thing! After her nap, she came out of her diaper and FINALLY went at around 6:30 p.m., just before bed.

You know that whole, you can lead a horse to water thing? Yeah. That.

So, we press on. It will be a lengthy process this time around because of her going to preschool. The toilets at our school are loud and auto flush and obnoxious. I had a little girl in my class this year who was holding it all day just to avoid them! I am hoping though, with all of our other days at home, we'll make some good progress.

We'll see if I can stay dedicated. Maybe I should bribe myself with Hershey's Kisses!

Shredding

2011-12-30T20:41:00.001-08:00

I picked up Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD this week.

I may or may not have poached some of my son's store credit from a returned Christmas gift. Moving on.

The reason I picked up the video is because I know I need exercise. I also know I don't have time or extra funds to join any sort of gym situation. Daniel is working out of town, so I can't go for a run. So, every night after Emily goes to bed (and by every night I mean 3 so far...) my family room becomes a workout zone. I'm laughing. Nothing near me has ever been, nor ever will be referred to as a workout zone. Let's just say, I attempt to follow the video in my family room and leave it at that.

When I picked up the video, Drew immediately needed to know all about it. Once I told him it was exercising, he begged me to let him do it with me. What could be better than an evening with Jillian? How about Jillian and your five year old? Yeah...

The first question he had (which if you know him, you know one question is just getting started) concerned why the ladies on the video were showing their belly buttons. I explained they were not very modest and how it is always a bad choice for a lady to go around showing off her belly button. I left out the part where they have washboard abs and probably deserve to show a little belly button after what was surely some form of gym torture to have a stomach that looks that way.

I have been so sore the last two days. Which is HILARIOUS. It's a twenty minute workout. I should not be sore after a twenty minute workout. But I am. I nearly had a real emergency today when I needed to cough. Painful. I should point out that I am also potty training Emily this week. More on that later, but suffice it to say, at the end of my day with her I wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch and eat junk food.

But Coach Drew had other plans. "C'mon Mom! We gotta exercise! You can do it!" Guh. He's already completely appalled about my being on level one. "When are we going to move up to level two??' Sheesh. What could I say? "No, Momma's too lazy to do a twenty minute workout. Let's eat some chocolate..."

So, I screwed up my courage and shredded it up with Jillian and Drew again tonight. I will say watching him "exercise" is a nice little comic break during all the shredding. However. Tonight he said, "Mom, how come you don't show your belly button when you exercise?" I simply explained that I don't like to, hoping he'd hearken back to our little modesty conversation. He would realize I'm a true lady.

"It's because of your scrunchy stomach, huh Mom?"

Nice.

The Jerking of the Rug

2011-12-29T18:43:00.001-08:00

Mom's been having pain in her side for several months now. Her primary care doctor told her it was probably a pulled muscle.

A pulled muscle.

My mom has been more than diligent in keeping up with her care over the last years. She has had the same primary care doctor for over twenty of those years. She has faithfully had mammograms, colonoscopies, blood tests, and CT scans. She's no hypochondriac, but she is also not stubborn about getting things checked out.

Two months ago she had hip replacement surgery. Mom was born with a hip disorder called Legg-Perthes disease. As a child my mom endured all sorts of things including a very extended stint with crutches. One of my very favorite pictures of my mom is one of her at a dance recital on a pair of crutches. There is no image that sums her up more than this one. Over the years the pain in her hip increased and finally reached the point where she needed to have something done. In the meantime, her abdominal pain was bothering her and she went to see her doctor. He ran blood tests and did a CT scan. He reported to her no findings. This is when he diagnosed her with a pulled muscle and signed off on a release for her hip surgery.

She located a surgeon in Nashville who performs a new hip replacement procedure. (If you ever know someone having hip replacement, this is the way to go!) It cuts the recovery time in half. I felt so positive as we moved into this surgery. By Christmas, I thought, Mom is going to feel like a new person.

In all of her post-op blood work, her liver enzymes came back slightly elevated. And each time we were assured it was nothing to worry about. Mom recovered from her surgery like a champ. She ditched the walker after about 3 days. The hip surgeon declared her the "poster child" for hip replacement.

Because of her surgery she was required to take a blood thinner. Because of this, she had to quit taking ibuprofen for her abdominal pain. The pain continued to mount, culminating in a trip to the ER. This began the journey leading us to where we are today.

Even as we started down this road, I had no inkling where we were headed. I'm usually a tiny bit psychic. Able to sort of see what might be coming. I did not see this coming. Doctor after doctor, test after test, all her levels were "borderline". There might be a little something, we're not sure. My mom and my sister Kristin exhausted themselves trying to get to the bottom of what exactly was going on. Finally, the Lord sent a special surgeon into the picture. I say the Lord sent him because the story of why he is in Knoxville is just that. He believes the Lord called him there. He examined Mom once, and could not hide his suspicions. He believed it was cancer.

Surely, though, because of the levels and the CTs and everything else it was just a tiny cancer right? How could it be really serious and no one have caught it to this point?

I will never forget sitting in the office at work listening to Katy tell me it was cancer and it had already spread to her liver. I had googled enough to know what this meant. The doctor said 6 months. SIX MONTHS. Chemo will only buy her time. To this point, I had not cried about any of it yet. In that tiny office with the blinds closed (thank goodness) the dam burst. My preschool family waiting outside the door, hurting me for me, because that's who they are.

It was the day of Drew's fifth birthday party. I was supposed to leave for Monkey Joe's in half an hour. I had no idea what to do. Daniel arrived-he was having lunch with our "Star of the Week". I collapsed on him. "Just tell me what to do." Mom wanted us to come, and so, of course, we would. Daniel would do the party, flanked by some of my best friends in Nashville who just happen to be preschool teachers. "Go," they said, "we got this." I packed up my things and was surrounded in prayer and laying on of hands. I ran home grabbed my bag, threw in some random clothes and went to get Katy.

As we got in the car we just looked at each other. What could we possibly say for the next excruciating three hours?? At the time we did not know it, but we were both nervous to see her. But when we walked into her condo, it was just her. My little mom. We ran to her and cried our eyes out. The next two days were some of the sweetest time we have had in a long time. It was just mom and her babies. Three girls and a boy, sitting in their PJs soaking her in. We're a talky bunch, and so we hashed and rehashed it all from every angle-physical, emotional, and mostly spiritual. We want to be faithful in these days, but OH how it hurts.

I have three brave, beautiful friends who have lost parents very suddenly in recent days. I thought about them all weekend, knowing what they would have given for one more day to sit on the couch with their loved ones. And so, I sat. Numb and in pain, but with HER.

Over and over I have said I have no idea how to do this. I don't know how to simultaneously beg God for a miracle and walk with someone as they face death. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help. So, I pray. I pray for as many days as possible of hearing her voice.

On a Break...

2011-12-21T19:29:00.000-08:00

Sooo...

Deep breath.

3 1/2 months since my last post. By far the longest time I've gone between posts.

There are a whole lot of reasons I haven't been around. Some simple: started graduate school, dealing with new evaluations at preschool, committed to a book club.

Some not so simple. I still haven't decided if and when I'll be sharing about any of that. Suffice it to say, the last year of my life has been about coming completely undone. Completely. Honestly, I just haven't had words.

Slowly, though, the words are coming back. And for the first time in a very long time, I've found myself thinking, "Hmm, I should write about that." It turns out I'm a writer. And I don't mean that as in I'm aspiring to anything, or actually good at anything. I just mean I have learned about myself, that life doesn't work right for me if I am not, in some way, writing. I am in deep process about what that really means.

Are you weighed down by all the heavy yet?? Just wait.

After a year of peeling back layer after layer emotionally, I thought I was finished. Well, as finished as one ever gets this side of heaven. Finished for now, I guess. Taking a break from all the hard. But, I'm not. My sweet momma was just diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer. Yes, it's breath taking, and not in a good way. Yes, It's horrible. Yes, it's incredibly scary. Any words you can think of to describe the situation-yes, it's that. I'm finding it hard to write much about it. There is not much to say, other than I guess I get to learn and grow some more. In that not very comfortable way.

I'm weary. I'm sad. I keep waiting for normal...

I don't think normal is coming back!!

I will say, one of the things I worked really hard on through the past year's trials is giving thanks everyday for something, no matter what. As Ann Voskamp describes it "the hard eucharisteo". I have learned that something pretty special happens in one's heart when they dig down deep in the midst of awful circumstances to say thank you to God. And when we can say thank you for the very thing, the awful thing, that's happening...well, it can be pretty amazing.

So, I walk through each day looking intently for all the things I can thank Him for. And mostly I thank Him for being with me, all the time, no matter what. I didn't expect to find myself back in the hard valley so soon, but man, oh man, am I thankful He is here with me.

I will be writing here, but it will probably be a big downer. Just a disclaimer. Although I think at this point the only person reading is my fab little brother (What up Uncle Sam?? Holla!) And, there have been quite a few laugh out loud moments this holiday season. Six kids, ages 5 and under (3 five year olds, 3 two year olds!!) all drunk with the Christmas spirit brings out hilarity.

I hope your Christmas was amazing. Despite the circumstances, our family had THE BEST time! I love these people of mine. They are an amazing group.

Project Monday...err...Tuesday

2011-09-13T17:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah. So.

I didn't get this up yesterday. It was our first "full day" at school yesterday which means the first full day of lunch time with a new batch of kids. Let me say this: 1) I am smitten with my new class. In love. They're the best. 2) Meal time at school is about as much fun as meal time at home. And we all know how I feel about that. So, I'm was semi-comatose by last night. It was hard work not maiming my children yesterday afternoon (and by my children I mean, my own two...) because let me just say, they were in a mood. But. I'm here now. So, without further ado...

Have you ever wished the fairy would show up to your house while you're out and take care of some things you just don't have time for or don't want to do?? Well. The fairy stopped by my place last Friday. While I was gone to school a very kind, amazing friend came by and painted the REST OF THE LAUNDRY ROOM. I'm going to let you just sit with that for a moment...

I KNOW!!!

A couple of weeks ago this friend approached me and asked me if I would let her do this for me. I was stunned. My inclination as a good southern girl was to say no. But, I am in a season of learning to ask for help. I'm in a season of understanding the whole "hands and feet of Christ" thing as a receiver. Which takes much more humility than the "hands and feet of Christ" giver role. I knew in my heart I was supposed to say yes to this person. I immediately started thinking of ways I could pay this person back. Amazing gesture for amazing gesture, you know? But the still small voice reminded me to let go. So I did. AND MY LAUNDRY ROOM IS PAINTED. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm praying and praying that the Lord will give me the opportunity to bless this person as well. But He has told me clearly, it can't be from a place of wanting to "repay".

This person reads my blog. This person is reading right now. To you, painting fairy, THANK YOU. I can never say it enough, because this has been about so much more than just the paint on the walls. It's been a teaching moment for my children. It's been a part of the trust journey I am on with the Lord. Every time I walk into the laundry (which is a lot!) I pray for you, and your situation, and the place the Lord has you right now.

The painting fairy made me promise I would not reveal their identity. This person was even specific-no blogging! Which, I'll admit was a bummer, because I pretty much had the post all written in my head! =) So, don't ask me. I'm a horrible liar. =)

I have no pictures yet because my camera is locked in my file cabinet at work. And plus, I sort of wanted to add one more thing before the next picture. It is such amazing fun when I walk in there now. The color is bright and cheerful, and because of this person's blessing of me, I encounter HIM each time I walk in.

Great is His faithfulness.

Happy September!!

2011-09-06T07:13:00.000-07:00

I'm hoping the deliciousness of this picture will help you forgive me for not posting a Project Monday update. Let me just say-this is my favorite picture of my kids together EVER. I assure you they are this cute all the time. It's just a little difficult to capture it on film. I should show you the four pictures that came before this one!!

On the subject of Project Monday, there has been an exciting development. I can't wait to sort of share it with you next Monday. I know the suspense will be killing you!

The weather has taken a crazy turn here since yesterday. It's not 100 degrees!! Yesterday morning we walked out to the car and Drew stood outside and said, "Ah, a cool breeze. Yesss!" In case you didn't know Drew has some serious issues with heat. It makes his ability to make good choices and control his behavior fall somewhere between 0 and -10. We've been working all summer on recognizing when it's the heat causing the issue and taking steps to cool off. Drew has spent the summer lamenting, "I can't wait for winter!" He was rather ecstatic about the cool down. I don't have the heart to tell him that by next week it will probably be a refreshing 95 degrees again. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Tomorrow is Drew's first day of school!! Being a teacher's kid sort of makes the luster of the first day of school somewhat diminished. He's actually spent the last two weeks at the school. But, we're going to celebrate anyway! There will be a front porch picture (perhaps in the rain!). We usually go get doughnuts for the first day, too. Emily's first day is not until Friday. And then there's the issue of Emily really shouldn't have a doughnut because of the dang dairy. So. I've got some more thinking to do about that. I know. Earth shattering considerations I'm working through here...

In other news, I start MY first day of school tomorrow. Having met my class and my parents I don't feel nervous at all. I have A LOT of work to do before tomorrow. And I have no idea when exactly it's going to happen. Me + Caffeine = BFFs!!!

I hope your September is off to a great start! I'm looking forward to a couple weeks from now when things are a little more settled. But, I'm so thankful for all the opportunities I have. And for my kids who troop along like little champs.

Ps. Those orange and white outfits they have on? They picked them out themselves!!

Meet Your Teacher Day!

2011-08-31T17:57:00.000-07:00

I would just like to start this post by saying that my totally rockin', amazing, kind, talented sister baked the cutest monkey cookies for my class today. They.are.adorable. I have a picture to show you, but my computer and my camera are not currently on speaking terms. I've kept them connected while I'm writing just in case they decide to get over their issues with one another. You cannot fathom the cuteness. And not only did she bake cookies for me, she made cookies that are dairy, nut, and gluten free. AND THEY TASTED AMAZING! (and I would know...I might have had three...just sayin') The moms of the allergy kids in my class were ecstatic. I think it was a great way to show I care about their kids and will take great care of them. Thank goodness I'm related to a baker. I'll let you know as soon as she starts her business!!

My day was terrific. I'm going out on a limb and saying that I'm pretty sure I'm going to win the award for best class this year. Listen, I love kids. And I really love preschoolers. And this bunch? I was ready to squeeze everyone of them. Don't worry. I didn't. I think that might have been a touch overwhelming! I have a whole class of oldest/only kids this year! It was a little like the paparazzi were in my room. Somewhere out there are a whole bunch of pictures of me. Scary.

I have four boys and four girls, and you know what? The Science center was the hit of the day! I'm so excited. Last year I really felt my science center was by far the weakest. This year, I think it's going to be amazing! The best part is, since I moved my room around, we have room to all gather back there and do experiments. Can't wait.

I had a meet-up with my moms last week that was so much fun. They are just the sweetest group. So today it was a little like seeing friends. Of course, some of my last year's kids and moms stopped by and I felt so sad!! I know this all sounds so mushy and probably a little fake. But I'm telling you-the community at this school is unlike anything I've ever seen. I am blessed, blessed, blessed to be there.

Let's not forget that I had my own to rugrats to visit classes. Being a teacher, I didn't really think about taking their pictures during the visits. Oops. I will definitely get a first day of school on the porch shot. It's sometimes hard to remember to be mom and teacher at the same time!! Ha! Both kids are in for such great years. Emily is in class with Miss Cricket. She loves her so much already. That girl was made for school. She is going to have such a blast. And probably boss everyone around while she's at it! Drew is still quite sad about leaving his beloved Ms. Sydney. I'm fairly certain she will always hold top spot in his
heart. They are a perfect match!! However, this year he has two AMAZING teachers. One of them has been at the school for many, many years. She is so kind and caring and such a prayer warrior. His other teacher is my good friend and I know he will feel so comfortable with her in there. I think he is going to love the new things he'll do in a Pre-K classroom. They have some great systems for centers, and you know that kid is all about a routine. He also told me today that "I'll probably have to do a lot of computer work." Wonder if he knows he won't get to play super hero games at school??? All his best pals are in the class-his friends from last year, his big buddy from the summer and his BFF LYLA!!! Katy and I are SO excited they get to be in class together. Speaking of Lyla, you should've seen her today. Gorgeous, cutest pink ribbon in her hair. I'm so glad she still lets me hug her and kiss her!

Ok. Well. A little on the chatty side tonight. All that grown-up interaction today-you'd think I'd be all out of words!! I'm looking forward to several days off. I've got a lot to do before the first day of school...but I am ready for it to be here. This year is going to be full of great things. And lots of caffeine!

Faster, Faster, Faster!

2011-08-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

Shew. Ya'll. I'm writing this post with one eye open. I am tired. Or as we like to say in Appalachia-TARD! Pooped, if you will. (Which by the way, is the word Drew likes to say so he can use a potty word without getting in trouble. Bathroom talk? Killing.me.)

Today was our final day in classrooms before our little ones come to visit. And before I start full-fledged whining, let me just say that compared to last year, I'm doing amazing! This time last year, Katy and I were in the throes of an almost all-nighter to get my room ready. I know she is relieved that I'm a little more with it this year. I have moved some of my centers around, and added some new pictures and, I don't know, for some reason I'm just feeling more at home in my classroom. More settled in. I have a clue about what might work and what might not, you know? It's a good feeling.

It's still A LOT of work. I've been up to my elbows in glue sticks, and duct tape and sharpies and clear tape. Have mercy, the clear tape!! It doesn't seem like it should be so much work, but it is. Today when one of my co-teachers and I were using her husband's drill to make holes in the cement wall we just looked at each other and started laughing. There are some things they don't tell you when you sign up to be a preschool teacher!

Speaking of things they don't tell you...if you have a weak stomach you might want to turn away...I have a bug infestation in my room. And it turns out it originated in my rice bin. Yummy, huh?? In case you're not aware, preschoolers love to play in rice. At the end of the year I asked, I ASKED, people about keeping the rice and they all said they kept it. Naturally mine turns up infected spreading tiny black bug madness all over the school.

The bug lady came out today and she was a DOOZY. A talker, that one, and by the time she left I was exhausted. And freaking annoyed that I was the cause of the issue. I make a ton of dumb mistakes at work. I.hate.messing.up. I only felt better later when one of my friends realized she accidentally donated 3 area rugs to Goodwill! Oops! Live and learn. And throw away the rice!!!

My kids have been AWESOME for the last two weeks. They have headed back to school without missing a beat. And you should see Emily. She troops along with the other kids like she is four herself. She has not cried for me one single time. And remember the scary Jesus nap room?? She loves it. She calls that scary, gaunt, effeminate Jesus, "My Jesus." Which, to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that, but it has to better than scared, right?? I'd say compared to where we were a year ago, we've all done some growing up over the last year. With Momma having the most growing to do...

It has been weird seeing new names around my table and in the hall. I've spent the summer trying to untangle my heart from my 8 little nuggets from last year. My heart is all about the relationship. And I knew those kids like the back of my hand. And I loved them and I loved their mommas. So, I'm excited for tomorrow. I'm excited to meet the new little crew God is sending my way, and I'm more than ready to get this year going!

Let's just hope they don't notice all the bugs...

Project Monday: Laundry Room Re-do

2011-08-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

Hi-ho! It's Monday again. It comes back around so fast it nearly gives me whiplash.

I'm ashamed to say that no new progress has been made on the laundry room. Many a time this week I've looked longingly at the paint and the brushes lying there. I have had zero time to do it. And I can't really see any painting time on the near horizon. I'm sort of hoping I get an attack of the insomnia, and I can pull a painting all nighter. Right. Like I can pull an all nighter...

I almost fell asleep on my 20 minute commute home at 5 p.m. the other day. Seriously.

Ok. I did manage to get a couple of (really bad) pictures of the progress that has been made. And the system is working beautifully. I'll admit I don't have a ton of things to go in those cubbies just yet, but I'm sure as the kids get older, I'll need them.

Here's the first picture. This is looking in the door. How do you feel about the color? Before you answer let me just say that I'm super duper over the moon about it. I love when the color on the wall matches the color in your mind's eye...

The next view is from the far corner of the laundry room. Notice I said "far corner" like it's all very spacious and far away from each other. It's not. It's like maybe two feet away. Anyway...

Ps. Don't mind the little urchin hand waving in the picture...

Finally, here is a picture of the wall in action. You'll notice the outgoing mail in the cubby. Fancy, huh? It is working great having the dumping station in there. The laundry room is a straight shot from the garage. It's so easy to go straight in, leave bags and shoes and what have you and go on your way. I have the option of untangling it all right then, or closing the door and dealing with it later. I'll give you a nickel if you can guess which one I do most often!

I have to tell you I'm rather pleased with myself. My goal was to have the "system" up and going before we started school and I did. By some miracle time stood still for approximately three days in a row and I worked like a machine. Apparently I'm going to need to set a new goal if I'm ever going to get it finished...

Back to Schooooool...

2011-08-25T12:12:00.000-07:00

I'm not even going to apologize for missing my "Project Monday" post. Wanna know why? I'M FREAKING BUSY!! And, just to brag a tiny bit, I have actually put paint on the wall!!! Just one wall, but still. And I hung up my shelf. So, if you close one eye and almost close the other one, my laundry room looks amazing! I promise I'll update you on it soon. I know you're burning to know.

The past week of my life has been completely nuts. Nuts, I say. On last Friday I finished up summer school (have I said that already??) and took the kids to an outdoor movie. Really funny story there because the movie was supposed to be "The Yearling" and it was actually "The Computer Wears Shoes". Yes, it's a real movie. Yes, I'm sure you've never heard of it, because WHO HAS?? I dare you to IMDB it and find out who stars in it.

Saturday I went to my first day of graduate school. In sum, it was very good. I think I might just be able to pull this off...

On Monday, I started back to work. We have spent two entire work days discussing procedure, policy, assessments, and licensure. I'll just say it's a really good thing I met with my classroom moms on Tuesday night. Otherwise, I might have quit. OH, I kid. But I will say the policy is not really what gets me going about the job. Apparently, though, it is for our new DHS evaluator. I'm going to leave this topic alone because she probably has my blog tapped, but suffice it to say, my neck was red the whole time she talked. What can I say? It is what it is.

She said that approximately 6,000 times. "It is what it is."

This time next week I will have had the chance to meet each of my students. I'm super, super excited. And while my room is still in a bit of disarray, it's leaps and bounds ahead of where it was this time last year. So happy to be beyond my first year.

Last night-well, at 5, does that count as night or what?-I was falling asleep driving home. I think this is probably not a good sign. I climbed into bed around 7:35 (which would be 5 minutes after I put Drew to bed) and attempted to finish a movie I started on Netflix about a week ago. It's not good, but it won an Oscar and I feel like I should finish it. It hearkens back to the time I read "Love in the Time of Cholera" and swore to myself I would never waste any more time forcing myself to read a book just because it was critically acclaimed. I think I may need to establish the same rule for movies...

I made it about 15 minutes before I was dead asleep. Nothing like a solid 11 hours of sleep to get you going. Or to make you wish you were still sleeping...you know...whichever.

SO much to catch you up on. I'm going to do a marathon download of pictures really soon. Maybe...

That Day

2011-08-19T05:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had THAT day.

You know the one. The one where the wheels are falling off every time you turn around? Yeah. THAT one.

It probably has something to do with the fact that I started the day in the dentist chair for round two. And I say round two because, oh yes, there will be a round three. As soon as I win the lottery. I took my friend Lana's advice this time and got the gas. Dr. Dentist told me last time it wouldn't make that much difference. Dr. Dentist is a giant liar. On the gas he could've used a ball peen hammer in my mouth and I probably would've thought it was funny. The gas was delightful. I really wish I could have a little nitrous gas around 5 p.m. everyday. I would be a SUPER fun mom then!!

When I got home I felt like I had done a whole day and it was only 9:00. In the morning. Emily woke up super early yesterday and by 10:30 she was a falling apart mess. So, I put her down for a nap two hours early. And then I tried to figure out what the heck the rest of our day would look like. I also attempted to plan out meals for the next week and clip coupons. This sounds like a completely mundane task, but it is not. It is complicated and makes my brain hurt. It paid off though, because I saved $81.00. And earned $0.20/off each gallon of gas. My spirits were only dampened by the fact that my kids acted like maniacs in the grocery store.

First of all, I never need to pay to take them anywhere. Their idea of the perfect outing is to ride in the car buggy and eat a free cookie at Kroger. They sort of make me think of Toonces the driving cat in that buggy. Not to mention the task it is to avoid running into shelves/people while steering that behemoth. Not only is it fun for the kids, it's a total upper body work out for me. Yesterday, they couldn't keep their heads in the cab. I say they couldn't because surely it wasn't that they WOULDN'T. Surely after asking 1,076 times, they would listen. But those little heads just kept popping out. So, Emily ended up in the basket up by me. I'll let you ruminate on how you think that went over...here's a hint: lots of screaming. We finally made it to the check out where the bag boy proceeded to load all my groceries into another buggy. Usually I stop them and ask them to load the groceries into the buggy where my kids are (DUH!) but this time I was too busy trying to contain all the crazy. I thought, "Oh well, when they ask if I need help out, I'll choke back my introverted nausea and say yes." Only they didn't ask. So I proceeded to unload all the bags from one buggy to another. The bag boy did not seem to notice. I think this is the problem when you're 19 and clearly have never grocery shopped with kids.

We got home and I set to work on cleaning out the pantry. I was not, what you would call, a nice mom during this time. I banned the kids from the kitchen (repeatedly) and talked like a coach. It was just that every time Drew walked through the kitchen he picked something up and moved it, usually to the floor and I.could.not.take.it.

Finally, the pantry and the kitchen were clean. Just in the nick of time because a storm blew through and the thunder turned Emily into a giant barnacle. After the rain (cue "Nelson") I had to go rescue the outside trash container, which had picked up about 3 inches of rain in the bottom. Nothing like dumping over a trash can the size of oneself and pouring out a load of trash juice. I was outside for maybe two minutes. By the time I came back in two entire bowls of trail mix had been poured out on my floor. Right in front of the door. It's like they put it there on purpose.

Remember in "Kindergarten Cop" when the lady said that kindergarten is sort of like the ocean-you never turn your back? Yeah. That.

The Dairy Devil

2011-08-17T05:12:00.001-07:00

You may remember, back when Emily was tiny, that we had a few...issues. And by issues I mean, she screamed, a lot. After much working and trialing and lots of phone calls with the ped, it was determined that she had some serious intolerances and reflux. None of this was surprising after my first foray into the world of a newborn. Apparently, stomachaches run in the family.

At Emily's last appointment we talked about her reflux medication and her dairy intolerance and which to tackle first. I took her off her reflux meds and she actually did really good. A couple months later (that would be about a month ago) I upped the ante on her dairy intake. To this point, she had faired really well with dairy as an ingredient. She could have cookies, crackers, etc., that contained dairy. Next, I started letting her have a little cheese. She didn't really like it, which should have been a sign. The only place she really loved to eat cheese was on a piece of pizza. And the girl loves her "piz". Things were going ok, so I started letting her have some regular yogurt. She was ecstatic because she could have the same thing as Drew. This is quite a big deal around here. Finally, I started mixing a couple of ounces of milk in with her soy milk.

This would be when the wheels fell off.

Let me just say that I have no medical/scientific proof for what I'm about to say. I'm getting ready to show my Appalachian American roots and get all mountain medicine woman on you. But, I think what happened is the milk proteins built up in her system and over time caused inflammation and belly aches. She started waking up a bunch at night. And she needed to be held all.the.time. We were gearing up to head to Knoxville for Weston's birthday and her diapers took a turn for the UH-OH.

And then she puked at Weston's party.

It's not a party until the smallest attender hurls all over her Poppy.

She had already eaten an entire piece of cheese pizza and proceeded to poach her Poppy's ice-cream. It wasn't his fault. I was right there cracking up at how much she loves ice-cream. Next thing you know I was trying to discreetly clean up puke without freaking out anyone at the party. I think that qualifies as a dairy trial FAIL.

It took at least three weeks to get her straightened out. I took her completely off dairy. This was not a fun time for her. She spent a lot of time wailing "CHEEZ CRACKA!!" It's always harder to give it up when you know the Cheez-It goodness! Now that she's been "straight" for a week or so, I've let her have a little contraband here and there and she's doing ok. That said, any overt forms of dairy are out of the question until after Christmas!!

You haven't lived until your 22 month old approaches you regularly and asks for a Tums.

Project Monday: Laundry Room Re-do

2011-08-15T20:01:00.001-07:00

I'll be honest. Around Saturday it was not looking good for a Monday update. Here is how much motivation I had come Saturday morning: zero. No matter what I did, I could not get going. And my kids? Barnacles. They clung to me with all of their might. It was not pretty.

Somehow, though, late afternoon, I got a burst of energy and while the kids were napping I cleaned out the heinous shelf in the laundry room and took down all the "curtains". I was proud, because typically it is my policy to never do any work during nap time. Like on Thursday when I promptly slipped into a two hour coma during nap time. It's probably very unsettling to be four and to find your mom asleep after your own nap is over (yes, my four year old still naps. Be jealous...) And then even more unsettling when it takes her a solid ninety seconds to get her bearings after you wake her up. "Huh?? Where am I? Who are you?"

So. The laundry room. It sort of has an echo in there now. You would not believe how much stuff I threw out. And then there was so much stuff that needed to be "filed" in a different place. There is tons of space in there now and I really hope I can figure out how to use it in a much smarter way.

I'm bound and determined to get one wall painted before I go back to work on Monday. Determined, I say. And yet, holding loosely, because we all know how well my plans work out. Honeydew, get ready. Mama's comin' for ya!

Hey, Howdy, Hey!

2011-08-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

Kids, it's been one of those weeks. Hence the no blogging and the already slacking on the Project Monday project. Sometimes life doesn't click along like you hope and instead of spending much needed time in the laundry room, you spend it somewhere else. And it's not really worth blogging about, so you don't.

I did manage to take down about 16 screws from out of one wall. No idea why Steve (previous owner, on whom everything bad is blamed...) had so many dang screws in the wall. But they're out now. It's still up for debate whether I will patch the holes. I'm very non-committal about the whole thing. Aren't you glad I didn't write an entire post about that??

This weekend I am *hoping* to get the laundry room/pantry/cabinets cleaned out. It's a meager hope because we all know how often things go according to plan. I did manage to clean out both kids' closets, including taking out clothes that are too little. I opened Emily's closet today and I had kind of forgotten it was clean. I laughed. And then I wanted to climb in there and stay all day because it's one of the few places I've spent time on that has remained neat and tidy.

Next week marks my last week of summer school. It has been such a great summer. I have built great relationships with some great kids and their great moms. I love the laid back pace of keeping kids here. I have all the time in the world to chat with them at the end of the day. We're going to have a camping extravaganza all next week. I really hope the weather cooperates and the temperature is not in the 100s. Nothing like playing in a tent that feels like a sauna...

In other news I went with my gal pals to see "The Help" last night. Ya'll. It is so good. I am usually very anti any movie that is from a book. I love books. I'm very loyal to them and they are always, always better than the movie. But this movie just about pulled even for me!! Fabulously casted and so well done. I would go see it again tonight if I could. Two thumbs up.

Well, I just stopped in for a sec during rest time at summer school. If I turn up missing, you might want to suggest they look in Emily's closet...

Project Monday: Laundry Room Re-do

2011-08-01T20:13:00.001-07:00

First, I have to tell ya'll that I'm pretty impressed with myself that I'm actually posting a Project Monday blog. Because, let's be serious-I'm not so hot in the follow up department.

Second, I'm getting ready to show you the before pictures of my laundry room. And I'm nervous. I've mentioned my pesky pride once or twice, right? I decided to not even straighten it up, so you could see the real mayhem taking place in there. It's a little painful. And also, my embarrassingly shoddy photography is also a little painful. Not to mention the hilarity of me scrunched up in the corner trying to take pictures.

So, with all that over-explaining out of the way, I present: The Laundry Room~Before

This area is where I put the little table (not that you can currently see it...) and hung up the backpacks. I didn't take a picture of what is below the table. I sort of forgot. But underneath the table there is a basket full of shoes and some cleaning supplies.

This is the window area and the sink. I made that lovely valance out of a pair of old curtains. Time to say BUH-bye. There is also a utility sink there. I'm trying to decide how to help make it a little less "garageish". There is also a plastic backsplash behind the sink. I'm fairly certain I've never done anything in there so heavy duty as to warrant a two-foot backsplash. Down she comes.

Here we have the far back corner which holds the laundry hamper. This is a recent new addition and will be staying. The cat box is also back there. Not a recent addition, but sort of key. It will be staying as well.

The shelving situation. It's a hot mess up there. You'll notice the curtains look familiar. I would also like to point out at this time that I don't sew. All those curtains were made with the magic of stitch witchery. So, uh, yeah. They're going, too. I plan to leave the shelf open and just put really nice baskets up there. And maybe someday add a high top shelf.

You can see the issues here, on top of the washer and dryer. And yes, I know they don't match. You might remember the saga with the washing machine in which I finally threw in the towel and got a new one. Turns out "almond" is not so much a hot seller these days!

I haven't done any actual work in the laundry room yet. I was gone out of town all weekend. But, the place I was staying had one of my color choices on the wall and it helped me nail down my decision. So that's something, right? I'll be back next week to let you know if any progress has been made. Let's keep our collective fingers crossed.

The Word of the Day

2011-07-28T21:13:00.001-07:00

Whew. I can feel the beginning of the school year bearing down on me like a freight train. It's coming, and I know I'll be grabbing hold only to be slung around until after Christmas time. I can't believe I even mentioned the word Christmas. Shew.

I have been thinking a lot about all that this year will hold, and the best way to tackle it in order to keep at least of shred of sanity for all of us. The word that comes to mind is DISCIPLINE. Oh discipline, how you mock me. I'm going to have to keep myself and the kids fairly regimented (while trying to keep grace, fun, and spontaneity in there too!) In reality, the kids are sort of naturally regimented as it is. I, on the other hand, notsomuch. Especially not this summer. I'll admit. It's been pretty nice to not decide what I'm doing until the last minute, and change plans, and be lazy. This is not my normal attack on life at all. But I think I just needed a minute of being type B, you know?

But. My minute is up.

The first thing on the list is a schedule. This summer I have laid in bed every morning until the very last minute. And on days when we don't have summer school kids, the last minute = however long Emily can stand being in her crib entertained by Drew. Poor Drew. He's been in charge of his own breakfast many mornings. Today he had pretzels. Yep. Pretzels. I opened the bag with one eye open and promptly handed them to him. And then I closed the one eye and went back to sleep. Kinda makes you wish you were my kid, huh??

So, my goal for the school year is to get up and be ready before the kids get up. Let me just say this: not excited. This also means I'm going to have to make myself go to bed at some sort of decent time. In the past this has not been a problem for me as I was always asleep by 10:00 at the latest. But this summer I've just relished the night time so much. There are books to be read, and shows to watch, and pictures from the internet to pin to a pretend bulletin board. Sigh. There are just not enough hours in the day. Sadly, I am not one of those people who can thrive on 5-6 hours of sleep. I've tried many times to be, and it never works and usually results in my getting sick. Lame. So early to bed and early to rise and all that jazz.

The second thing on the list is meal planning. Just recently I let go of this weird expectation I had on myself that dinner had to be something fancy. Why would I have this expectation when I have a preschooler and a toddler?? No idea, but I did. I've let it go and resorted to serving things that are simple and my kids like. I try to give them something new every once in a while. Still, it helps to have things written down at the start of the week. I need to do this for breakfast and lunch on school days as well.

The third thing is keeping our things organized. I have no doubt I'll start the year off with a bang in this department. The discipline will be in keeping up with the system and making sure things stay tidy. The rubber will hit the road on this one around the end of October. Keep your eye on me. I'm a mess.

I have all sorts of lists and things running around in my head constantly right now. As I've mentioned, not a ton of time to get them down on paper. It will have to happen soon, though, or my head might explode, which really isn't going to be helpful.

The new regimen starts Monday. I know I'm going to need some practice before the curtain rises.

Taking it Personally

2011-07-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

“There is no event so common place but that God is present within it, always hidden, always leaving you room to recognize Him or not to recognize Him.” - Fredrick Buechner

Earlier this year I read Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts". This book is life-changing. And I don't mean that in any sort of metaphorical way at all. I mean, if you read it, and apply the lesson Ann seeks to teach, it WILL change your life. When you spend your day looking for things to be thankful for, it changes everything.

I spent a good many weeks doing just that. Noticing everything. Seeing everything as a gift or word or touch from God. And then one day this tiny, nagging though crept into my mind. "You're being ridiculous. That single purple clover in your yard is just a flower-nothing more." It seemed every time I felt that nudge of the holy, I would chastise myself for being silly. To be honest, I don't think that tiny thought originated with me. I think the Enemy takes issue with my efforts to embrace all of life.

So one night I was scrubbing the floor hands and knees style. I know. This is shocking in and of itself, but I really do DESIRE super clean floors. If I had time (or a maid) they'd be hands and knees clean all the time. Anyway. I was scrubbing the floor and listening to some Beth Moore devotionals on CD I picked up at the bookstore. To be honest, I can't remember what the main point of this particular devotional was, but in it she was describing a sunset she saw on her way home. And she said, "Sure, maybe someone else in my neighborhood needed to see that sunset, but here's the thing girls, we get to take it personally."

We get to take it personally.

The lone purple clover in my yard-I smiled the instant I saw it because I just felt like it was a message. If I am honest, I still have to work to chase away those thoughts of doubt when I have those moments all day long. When I walk outside and the sun is going down and the light in my yard looks mellow and peaceful and I feel Him. When I stumble upstairs feeling sad and frustrated, pouring my heart out to him so it doesn't spill out all over my family, and as I look out the window, I see a lone dear in my backyard-in the suburbs. When a walk along a trail of modern art turns into a moment of surrender and worship.

I can doubt. I can chalk it all up to chance. I can deride myself for being silly or for grasping. Or I can choose to see Him. I can choose to pick up my day's manna. I can choose to believe He sees me. And knows. And cares.

I can take it personally.

The Long, Long, List

2011-07-25T19:09:00.001-07:00

The beginning of the new school year is fast approaching. I think I may have mentioned before that I always view the start of a new school year as more of my "new year" than January. It's just one more reason it's handy I'm going to be a teacher, huh?

So, in preparation for the "new year", I've made a list. It's a doozy. Quite ambitious, but definitely things I'd love to get taken care of before I go back to work. Well, work outside of my home that is. I have been a little occupied with a house full of little people this summer!

At the end of last year (with the purchase of my $20 TV cabinet at the yard sale) I moved a little table in my laundry room. And suddenly (just like with the pillow in the family room) I had a whole vision of what the place could become. I started using it as a "mud room" and I use the term lightly. Please do not picture something scrumptious from a Pottery Barn catalog. But, I did move our shoe basket in there and hung up the kids backpacks in there. This summer the little table has served as a launching pad for all things swim related. It's working, and I really want to make it even better.

I present to you Project #1-Laundry/Mud Room.

My first order of business is to paint it. I have wanted to do this for such a long time but the task has seemed overwhelming. You're shocked, I know. It is just so rare that something would be overwhelming to me... There are some holes in the walls and some dry wall anchors. I've just decided some of the holes may get patched, some may not. Because, if the holes are what are holding me back, then that's ridiculous. Still, painting in there is going to be a task. Before I finish painting it, it will have to be cleaned out. Which is probably going to lead to my needing to clean out some cabinets and pantry. See???? Sheesh. Anyway. I've decided just to start, and do a little bit at a time. For starters I'm trying to choose a paint color:

"Honeydew" by Behr is currently in the lead, but I don't feel 100% yet. I've also been on Pinterest (do you know about this??? If you don't, you should. It's changing my life. Ok, well, not really, but I am super in LOVE with it!) If you click the hyperlink, it will take you to my page and you can see what other ideas are brewing for the Laundry Room.

I'm deeming Mondays as Project Update days here at Toddle On. I know-it's dangerous to make such a bold statement when I can barely bring myself to blog regularly. Imma try, though, ok? If you have any great laundry room/mud room ideas you can't live without, let me know! Preferably with a link to a picture so I can pin them right onto my board!

And That's the Tooth

2011-07-24T18:50:00.000-07:00

Remember that time I told you I'm a procrastinator? Yeah. If I could win an award for it (preferably a monetary award...) I would definitely win.

I have a certain and real phobia of all things dental. I did not have good experiences at the dentist as a kid. I had braces and I can still feel that goo dripping on the back of my tongue from when they make the molds of your mouth. I just gagged thinking about it. I hate everything about the dentist and have determined it is the largest sensory onslaught you can experience. Sights, sounds, tastes, smells, PAIN. Yeah. I have issues.

So, I've avoided the dentist for an embarrassingly long time. And I won't tell you how long because, well, my pride. There came a point when I thought about toughing it out, but when I thought about how much shame I was going to have over the state of my teeth, well, it was just one more fear to try to overcome. Any of you thinking about ditching me as a friend yet? Because, WOW.

Finally, a tooth in the back expressed its displeasure with the lack of professional attention it had been receiving. The tooth expressed itself by causing me excruciating pain. Keep in mind I birthed two babies sans pain medicine. I wanted to just cut my entire head off. Perhaps get a new one. It hurt. And when I was at Walgreens at 4 a.m. looking for something, anything, to help, I knew it was time to wave the white flag.

The next morning I called a local dentist and they were fabulous and accommodating and nice. When the kind doc took a look he let me know it was going to take some major doing to take care of all the pain, but he figured out a way to work me in that day. I mean, for a dentist he was such a nice fellow. He also gave me some tips about how to cope. I decided against IV sedation, much to my sadness, both due to cost and complication of driving and the kids and blah, blah, blah. I decided I could do anything for around 30 minutes to an hour. He suggested I bring my ipod. It was a very fabulous suggestion.

Let's just say it was intense. I won't be telling you the exact nature of my procedure, because, well, my pride. But, suffice it to say there were times when I turned the volume on my music WAY up. And tried to keep down the nagging need to swallow. The spittle vacuum just doesn't do it for me. Luckily, they gave me some nice pain meds for my recovery and recommended I eat ice-cream. Can do, Dr. Dentist, can do. I go back this week for another check and a cleaning. I'm already working on my playlist...

Just one more place in my life that it's time to take some dang action. I'm grabbing fear by the throat and throttling him. Too much time with him has made me cranky!

The Joke's on Me

2011-07-07T16:38:00.000-07:00

First, did I actually refer to my "favorite" character in FNL by the wrong name??? Yes ma'am, I sure did. Guh. There is just no way to avoid looking like a schmuck in this scenario. LANDRY. His name is Landry. And I totally know that. It might have been funny if I'd called him Lance like Coach always did. But I didn't. I gave him a completely new name and referred to him as my favorite.

Would it help to say that I had been studying the math portion of my Praxis book? Did you know that math makes my brains turn to mush? Yes, even elementary math.

Sigh.

In other news about the joke being on me, my daughter, the 21 month old, has already developed definite opinions about her clothes. Gooood times. She is super into layering. As in, she screamed bloody murder at me when I questioned her choice to wear two pairs of shorts. At the same time. Topless. We are the very definition of class around here. She changes her shoes around 7 times an hour, and unloads her drawers two or three times a day. And strips. This is all a brand new ballgame for me. I can pretty much still throw any old shirt and shorts at Drew and he'll barely turn away from cartoons and put them on. But, heaven forbid I change diaper brands for her highness. No more Elmo on the diapers? She was not pleased. I have friends with teenage daughters. I'm booking time in their calendar 9 or 10 years from now already. Because, clearly, I'm the meanest mom ever since I won't let Emily wear two onesies to bed. How dare I?

Meanwhile, in the land of Drew, truth has become a slippery attribute. He's trying out different versions of stories fairly regularly, which is a nice way of saying he's lying. A lot. I've been assured it's a normal phase for his age, but it really doesn't help that pit in the stomach of a mom when they think their kid might end up in juvy. The funniest part is that kids are HORRIBLE liars. And they think they are really good at it. He's astonished when I don't actually believe him. Good. Let's just keep him thinking I have amazing mom superpowers. It'll prepare him for when I track him using his cell phone.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

2011-07-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

Well now.

Did I forget to mention I was taking a little bloggy vacay? So sorry. Actually, I wasn't planning on taking a bloggy vacay, but I did decide to let June be the month of slack. I've been savoring summer as much as one can while rearing two littles and running a day camp. I've just been doing the bare minimum. Nothing too taxing. Or even a little taxing. Because, you know, writing this blog is a real brain buster...

Also, and please don't judge, I got completely sucked into the T.V. series "Friday Night Lights". This is typical for me. I am not, what you describe as, on the cutting edge. I'm always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to trendy or cool or good things. So it is with me and the FNL. What caught my attention is that the series is wrapping up and there are some people to' up about it. I decided to see what all the hoopla is about. I signed up for a free month on Netflix (which expires tomorrow...note to self: cancel netflix...) and watched my first episode. And pretty much that's what I've been doing for the last few weeks. Straight. Kind of a sickness really. But, can I just take a moment and say, I'm not ashamed of how much I love football. Or the South. This show, well, it's the first time in, well, ever that I really wished the people were real. I was fully prepared to get in my car and drive to Dillon, TX, and show up at Coach and Tammy Taylor's door. I mean, everyone else does. I love everything about the show. Crazy old Buddy Garrity. Jason Street and his awesomeness. Matt Saracen-whose little cheeks you just want to pinch because he's so dang sweet to his grandma. Tragic, tragic, Tim Riggins with his perpetual shirt unbuttoning. (I googled him just to make sure he wasn't really 18, because, well, I think he's cute!) And last but not least, my favorite ever character Landon. Seriously. I love him.

You can see by the above paragraph that I have a serious problem. Put your worries behind you. I've seen all the episodes now, and only ONE remains. And in my opinion, they have a mighty lot of stuff to wrap up. They better not leave me hanging.

In the few hours a day I haven't been watching Netflix, I've done a lot of playing and swimming and snacking. We are having a great summer. My little play days are going great. I have a great bunch of kids and it has been beyond amazing to watch God provide this way-always just what is needed.

Lots to catch up on. I'm officially off vacation. This week's productivity equals studying for my first Praxis exam. Did I mention I'm going to grad school? No? My bad. I'm starting grad school this fall. I'm gonna be a real live teacher, ya'll!

Bring the Noise

2011-06-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

Dang Curious George and his homemade instruments. We had quite the "off" day yesterday, and I'm blaming the monkey.

I was barely awake, knocking around the kitchen, and the next thing you know, Drew is pilfering the recycling bin. He was dragging out milk cartons and paper towel tubes and JUNK. I was frustrated already, and so I said, "Why? WHY are you dragging all of that stuff out?" I was trying to clean up the kitchen and kick start myself into summer school mode.

"I need to make some instruments mom." I agreed that it sounded like fun, but suggested that RIGHT NOW was perhaps not the best time. Cue early morning meltdown. "Mom. I.JUST.WANT.TO.MAKE.MUSIC!!!" For the love.

It was pretty much this same idea over and over and over all day long. The grand finale was a huge fit that resulted in a major consequence. Don't we all hate a consequence...

After summer school, and after dinner, I attempted to regroup. "Let's play outside", I said. I was hoping to clean out the wreck-mobile while the kids had fun frolicking outside. There was no frolicking. Drew had a massive "motorcycle" wreck, which resulted in bleeding and mass hysteria. This prompted a big drama fest from Emily, just because she does not like to be outdone.

Thank goodness I ended the day at book club. You know, with grown-ups? Turns out a crazy day was going around. It's always reassuring to hear that your child's behavior is "normal" and they are not on the fast track to juvy. And there were cookies. Dipped in chocolate. Which always sets all things right in my world.

Hungry Hippos

2011-06-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate it when you wake up with the same headache you went to sleep with? Me too. I went to bed obscenely early on Thursday night because I had a massive splitter. Splitter is my word for a horrible headache. One of those when you take more than the recommended dose of pain reliever and it doesn't matter one bit. You might as well have taken sugar pills. I thought for sure if I just went to sleep it would be gone. Nope. Oh the insult to still have it in the a.m. I was not sure whether it was allergy related or caffeine related. I failed to take my allergy medicine and had no caffeine on Thursday. I have no idea why I skipped caffeine. I have dubbed 2011 as the year of caffeine. Yes, I'm addicted. No, I don't care one bit. So, first thing Friday morning I took an allergy pill and drank a large glass of tea. My headache was gone in approximately 30 minutes.

We had a great day at summer school. I feel so blessed that God is allowing me to be home with my kiddos and still make some extra money. Every day I thank Him for providing for me in such profound ways. I think the kids are having a good time and I think all the mamas are happy. It's early days, so I'm hoping I don't run out of fun ideas. Our afternoon outside time is not popular because of...you guessed it...THE HEAT! I'm thinking I'm going to have to institute daily water play. I hope I don't use up all my hard earned cash-ola on my water bill!!

In the meantime, my children are eating me out of house and home. I'm going to have to increase my grocery budget by approximately a kabillion dollars. Drew has entered the land of eating like a growing boy. This is my first experience with this phenomenon. He has started asking for seconds at dinner (which, before I had to beg him to finish his plate) and will eat an entire lunch of sandwich, veggies and fruit and want a whole other lunch. And will eat it all. He says to me about 76 times a day, "I'm so hungry!" And he definitely requires a bedtime snack. No idea where he gets that from... And I know he's really hungry because he's just as willing to eat healthy stuff as he is junk food. It's astounding really, and does not bode well for the teenage years. I might need to buy a deep freeze and start stocking it now.

Last but not least, the goggles were a success! He did not obsess and swam like a fish during our pool session. And, put back in its proper place of late afternoon, our day was much better. We are, as they say, creatures of habit.

I hope you don't mind my mundane ramblings-you know where I can write 100 words just about my headache. Turns out when I'm not around grown-ups for days at a time, the words get all built up! AND, biggest shout out to my soul sister Jen, her husband Greg and their BRAND NEW BABY, Jack!!! I'm sad I haven't had my hands on him yet. He is a picture of God's extravagance, that's for sure!! Love you Jen and Greg!!!

I'm Meelllllttttinnnnggg...

2011-06-10T05:51:00.001-07:00

Let's just get this out of the way: THE HEAT. Are you kidding me? It's barely double digits in JUNE and it's already pushing 100 everyday. There's been all sorts of talk about record breaking and the like. I've done really well with my attitude about this. Until yesterday. Yesterday I hit some sort of wall. I think it was a combo of crabby kids, a massive headache, and have I mentioned, THE HEAT???

We've had a great week. We had the day off on Wednesday and met our good friends at the now famous Dragon Park. It was a great time and I'm learning some new tricks to keep Drew cool, which in turn makes everyone's life easier. The kid loves to play, and play hard. There came a definite time of "We'd better go right now" and I'm learning more and more about taking that cue right away. I'm sometimes tempted to push it, especially when I'm having fun with my friend! And of course, we did more swimming that afternoon.

Yesterday we switched things up a little bit. Tuesday, when we were at the library, they announced "Wildlife on Wheels" was coming to the library on Thursday. Well, Drew tuned in and definitely wanted to do it. It's a little program the zoo does-bringing around some animals for the kids to check out. I just could not bring myself to go. When we were there for story time it was complete pandemonium. And I teach preschool, so I have quite the threshold for tiny people going bananas. So, I bribed Drew and told him we would go swimming two times yesterday. It worked. Yes, I'm shameless.

We were almost the only ones at the pool yesterday and Drew swam his little heart out. He's having a blast. I love it. However, he started opening his eyes under the water, and as you know, this can lead to some PAIN. So, instead of heading back to the pool yesterday afternoon, we went to Target to get some Spiderman goggles. I'm concerned about the goggles, I'll be honest. He could easily get completely obsessed with how they feel and it could all go down in flames. I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, I think it is our afternoon trip to the pool that makes the late afternoon heat bearable. Our house gets really warm by about 4:00. We had it checked out last summer and our units are just fine. I'm pretty sure it's something like "You need to replace every window in your home" kind of a thing, and frankly, well, it ain't happening. So. We sweat. I was a little delirious last night, so we ended up in my bedroom with me getting a check-up from the kids and the Elmo doctor kit. The good news is I only weigh 25 minutes. The bad news is, I have a bad ear and my heart is now located in my lower abdomen.

Um...What??

2011-06-08T18:13:00.001-07:00

Ya'll. I'm having the best summer ever. I hesitate to put that out there. I'm sure I'm inviting some sort of wrong something to happen, but I just needed to say it. Because, really, it's come as quite a surprise. There are a myriad of reasons I was not looking forward to this summer, but it has surpassed expectations and we are two weeks in.

We started summer school two weeks ago. As the time drew closer, I was getting more and more anxious. I was a nervous wreck about Moms checking out my house-scrutinizing, if you will-because their kids would be spending the day here. I've covered my complete lack of housekeeping skills. There might have been some panicked cleaning going on. Maybe. It is also nerve wracking to have little people as your "clients". And by little people, I mean kids, not those of short stature. Just thought I would clear that up. Kids are fickle and they are picky and if they don't have fun they might not come back. And that means mama don't get paid. But, the kids who have come through here have been great. We have had a blast. The best news is MY kids have been awesome. Emily totally believes she is four, and troops right along with everyone. Her favorite subject is art. And usually her canvas is her arms. And Drew. That guy, he has been amazing. He has been kind, he shares toys, he takes care of Emily. He has been so go with the flow (which if you know him you know this must be the result of divine inspiration...) and it has been fun to watch. It is pretty amazing that I get paid to be with my own children and watch them play. I am not missing the God in this. It is a HUGE answer to many of my prayers. And fun to boot.

Don't get worried, either, because we are still able to make it to the pool everyday. I have to say I'm rather proud of myself for taking my chickies down there EVERYDAY. We've got our prep down to a science so it doesn't take four hours to get ready anymore. And, TODAY-magic. Drew has been getting more and more brave playing in the water without his floaty on. And, when he has his floaty on, he started wanting me to throw him-which meant he was going under. Yesterday he was holding his head under the water and I was so proud. He was rather proud himself. I was gearing up to try some more swim lessons. Which, is a little feeble considering I don't know much about teaching a kid to swim. Turns out, I don't have to. Drew totally taught himself to swim today. I'm not kidding. He went from hanging on the side of the pool afraid to stretch his legs all the way out four days ago to swimming almost the entire width of the pool. SWIMMING, I SAY. I'm not going to lie. I was obnoxious. I was completely flipping out. He.just.started.swimming.

Honestly, I don't know why I'm surprised. This is Drew's way. And it has been his whole life. It is no mistake that Drew is my child. He is one big, fat life lesson all wrapped up in one little package. Every milestone he has approached, I have been anxious about his being behind. And, for crying out loud, I'm a teacher. It's who I am. So, I try to teach and coach. And then I secretly obsess. But, always, once I back off, it's only a matter of time before he figures it out all on his own. Listen, I'm slow to learn in so many areas. I'm trying on this one. I've done much better lately, and even when the cute mom in the two-piece at the pool said, "Yeah, we just threw our kids in there and made them go at it," I only felt defensive for a few minutes. After all, she was in a two-piece. I kind of wanted to mention that had I ever, at any point, just thrown Drew in the water, he might, just might, have had a seizure. I digress.

All this to say, MY BOY SWIMS! And as a mom there is nothing better than watching your child feel proud of themselves.

Summah Time

2011-05-31T18:27:00.000-07:00

You know what trips me up on the blog? The dang pictures! Anytime I have a post that includes pictures it takes me forever to get it up. So, today I just decided to put a photo-less post up and I'll get to all my pictures later. I realize it's not rocket science to upload pictures and put them on here, but I'm lazy and it's a tiny bit of work.

I've been on a little mini vacation. I mean, I didn't go anywhere or anything, but it's been exactly one week since I wrapped things up at school. Last Wednesday was our end of the year school picnic (and you'll be happy to know we did not have to cancel on account of the cicadas...) and we went out to celebrate (pics to come...someday...). Since then we've been having some lazy days with a few fun events thrown in there. (Again, pics...well...you know...)

Today we went back to the pool and let me just say, progress was made. And, I have a feeling you are going to be given a blow-by-blow of our afternoons at the pool. I know you are beside yourselves with excitement. Anyway, today as Emily and I were sitting on the side of the pool splashing our feet and Drew was paddling around with his floaty on, I thought to myself, "You know, I'm kind of glad he wears that floaty, because I don't have to watch him so closely. It could be hard to watch both kids so closely." I'll have you know it was not five minutes later he saunters over and says, "I want to take my floaty off." Really?

So, the duck was shed and I helped him understand he could really touch in the 3 ft. end of the pool. I wish every one of you could have seen the look on his face. He.was.ecstatic. He was super proud of himself and even made up a song called "Don't freak out in the pool." I'm not kidding even a little. About this time, Emily decided she might want in the pool, too. She sat on the top step, actually in the water. I was a touch panicky trying to keep my eyes on everyone. Drew kept wanting me to do "swimming lessons" with him, but refused to do anything I suggested. Not much "lessoning" went on. Although, he did doggy paddle to me a little bit. I'm not gonna lie. I was proud.

Emily, mean time, made friends with another lady at the pool and proceeded to talk her head off. Which consists of saying the same phrase over and over, louder and louder until you understand and repeat it back to her. I can't tell you how much fun it is to do that all day. The lady at the pool was very patient. And then when Emily started doing tricks-"blowing bubbles" which was actually licking the water-she would look up to make sure her new friend was watching. She's a socialite, what can I say?

Tomorrow we start "summer school". I'm a) excited, b) nervous, and c) REALLY concerned about the behavior of my own children. It's going to be interesting. To say the least.

Last Day of School

2011-05-23T18:12:00.001-07:00

I'm in shock.

Yesterday I wrapped up my first year as a preschool teacher. I seriously cannot believe the year is over. Add to that the fact that I honestly thought we had a whole extra week, and I'm flat perplexed. I don't think any period of time in my life has ever gone by so fast.

I have to say, that while taking a break from the rat race for a bit will be nice, I'm sure going to miss my little class. They have grown and changed and matured so much over the past year. The last few weeks have been so sweet. I've begged them to just stay in the three year old class forever, but since most of them are already four, they're having none of it. They are ready to move on. Most said they will at least wave at me in the hallway, a few said no! Ha! I'm also terribly sad about losing the moms in my class. They are THE BEST. I have had so much fun getting to know them. It has been great being in the same season of life. While I can't offer any sage advice, I can definitely relate on every level. They have been loving and supportive and fun. GREAT way to start, that's for sure.

I will also miss having so much bonus time with Drew at school. His class has been right across the hall and his teacher is a good friend. We've had lunch together bunches of times, go to Spanish and Creative Movement together, and play on the playground together. Next year he'll be all the way down the hall in the oldest classroom. Sniff. I'm so thankful to have had a window into his school life. So special.

We have a work day tomorrow, then a school-wide picnic on Wednesday, and after that there will be no more things I haven't done yet!! HOORAY! I've spent a lot of my time this year pretending like I knew what the heck was going on, when really I had no clue. I will be so happy to at least have some understanding of the way things go.

Our summer is starting to take shape. I will be hosting a little day camp here three days a week for a few kids and I'm really excited about it. I know it will be work, but I will get to be with Drew and Emily and DO WHATEVER I WANT. No government regs to comply with!! Ha! I have lots of fun ideas swirling around in my head. The best part is, most of the kids coming are families from school, so they are sweet and wonderful. I'm sure there will be many anecdotes forth coming about this little adventure.

Otherwise, I plan on making lots of memories and soaking up as much of my kiddos as I can before the school bell rings next fall.

Blooms of Extravagance

2011-05-22T17:59:00.000-07:00

As I was driving down highway 100 today, I noticed a tree I hadn't noticed before. It's weird that I've missed it. It sits on a little farmstead that I always wonder about as I drive by. It's a tall tree, taller than the barn, taller than the house, standing alone in its place. And, it's covered with blossoms. I did not want to stop looking at it. Something about that tree caught my heart.

I finally realized it is quite unusual to see a tree that tall blossoming as this one is. Perhaps the tall trees have their own splendor just by the sheer fact of their size. Perhaps God reserves the blooms for the smaller trees-giving them a splendor of their own.

This tree stirred something deep within me. For me, this tree symbolized God's extravagance. A tree already magnificent because of it's size and shape is now beyond a masterpiece because of its flowers. A place where God has poured forth beauty and grace-a little less restrained-all in one place.

Why does extravagance leak out in some places and not others? Mystery.

Larry Crabb says this, "...it's more difficult for Christ to restrain Himself from making all our dreams come true than for us to watch them shatter...He is right now holding Himself back from showering us with every conceivable blessing."

Holding Himself back. It seems He wants every tall, majestic tree to shine beautiful with blossoms. But for reasons unknown to us, He holds back. He.holds.back. The man who walked here. The man who deeply understands the frustrations of flesh in the way of experiencing all of who He is.

And so, I have to choose to believe. I have to choose to believe that His holding back is just as loving as His pouring forth.

Friday Five

2011-05-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

Here are five random photos from my life as it currently stands. I wish I could say this will become a regular feature here at Toddle On, but we all know as soon as I announce a regular feature it will never happen again. Not to mention the ongoing struggle with actually picking up a camera and using it...

But, for this Friday, may I present:

1. Do you love these flowers as much as I do?? The punch of red is just what my dining room needed. And, the best news-they were FIVE DOLLARS at a yard sale. I cannot even describe how much I love a bargain.

2. Last week we had the best time at the nature center with some friends. We spent a lot of time playing in the creek and the two boys were such good explorers. They spotted this turtle trying so hard to hide and did not even hesitate to pick him up. After a photo op we, of course, put him gently back in his home.

3. Drew is setting the table each night. Clearly, we're on a learning curve.

4. My poor house. It's slowly falling apart. This is how I ensure that the dishwasher runs a full cycle. Nothing but class around here...

5. For the grand finale, I present to you all the junk I found when I cleaned out under my couch. I went ahead and discarded all the dirt, crumbs, and other disgusting material. You're welcome. If you can name each item in this picture, you'll win you're very own picture of Drew in his duck floaty.

Well now. That was sort of fun. Maybe I'll try it again. But, it's definitely not a thing ok??

In the Midst

2011-05-19T19:16:00.000-07:00

I struggle so much to experience God in the midst of my everyday life. I have plenty of times through the week when I pull away, when I am able to commune and catch a moment of elusive eternity. And when you have tasted it, you only want more.

But then, there you are, two kids in the tub with fun foam run amok (because it's the only way they'll bathe without screeching, and you're down to pretty much a once a week bath as it is). Dinner is bubbling on the stovetop thanks to the Chef (Boyardee, that is) and while you're trying to frantically pick out clothes for the next day, all you can think is "Hurry! Go stir!" You can pretty much hear the faux pasta adhering to the pot as you walk. Pasta is stirred, eye turned to low, and a storm is brewing in the bathroom. As you run up the stairs, your body protests, begging you, "Please, just sleep!" Oh body! How I wish I could oblige. The naked, shivering babes are rescued from the tub. The lotion is stuck in its bottle, so you shake, hard, and lotion is all over your worn out jeans, and all you can think is, "Well, at least it's not on the carpet..." You use the lotion from your jeans, because, what else would you do with it? The babes are clean and pj'ed and sitting at the table. You feel guilty it's not something fancier and then laugh because they love it.

After dinner you walk by the mirror in the bathroom. Every inch of your person has some sort of evidence of a hard day-crumbs on the shoulder, pasta sauce on the shirt, and, yes, lotion on the jeans. Your eyes are tired, your hair is a mess, you can visibly see the muscles in your shoulders all hunched up and ready to jump from your skin. Who is this woman? A woman? When, exactly, did that happen?

And you pause, and you think about Sunday, so far away, when you felt Him, right there, arm around your waist. When joy welled up and peace rushed over. How do I find Him when slowing down is so out of reach? He is here. He promises so. And I am living my own eternity. I want to believe it. Father, help my unbelief.

Soul's Winter

2011-05-19T05:44:00.001-07:00

Friends, it's sort of an exciting day for me. I won't got into all the reasons I'm excited today, but just know there is still so much brewing in my heart and life!

For now, join me over at (in)courage, where I have the daily guest spot. While you're there, spend some time reading. On the main page are some of my favorite writers, women who are courageous and authentic. I know you'll like whatever you find. I will warn you: you might want to set aside a major chunk of time. Those archives'll get ya every time!

More soon...

Fro Yo

2011-05-17T17:32:00.001-07:00

We made our maiden voyage to Sweet CeCe's today. Yes. I am always around 6 months behind whatever the latest craze is. And, to be honest, I have no idea what possessed me to go today, except that Drew has the voice of a 65 year old smoker right now and it hurts my throat just to listen to him. I thought a little frozen treat would help me him feel better.

I'll tell you the whole pay by weight thing kind of stresses me out. It's like eating at Luby's. You fill up your tray with all manner of cafeteria goodies (usually including jello cubes with cool whip) and then they whip the price out on ya. And also? The giant tubs they provide for the fro yo? Really? A teeny bit transparent don't you think??

The good news is they always have at least one variety of sorbet, so for Emily this is great. I wouldn't even be able to darken the door of the place if there was not a treat for her. She'd scream the building down. Although, today I did wonder what they would do if you just put some fruit and a couple of cookies in your tub. Might be worth a try.

When I started telling Drew his choices of yogurts, I could see his eyes completely glaze over. TOO.MANY.CHOICES. I don't know why this is such a hard lesson for me to learn. He needs two choices. Always. Never more than two. So, I backed it up and offered him chocolate or vanilla. This he could process. Then, I told him he could have two toppings. He chose gummy bears and cookies, because, what else?? I had to dig around in the bin-o-gummies to pick around the red and orange ones. What I did not need was a Red 40 meltdown with smoker voice. Just trying to stay ahead of the curve.

Emily enjoyed her treat very much, and naturally we had to visit the restroom. When Drew walked in he said, "Ok. This is a nice bathroom." And he would know. He is a public potty aficionado. Sweet CeCe's passed his inspection. I know they would be so proud.

The Cicadas are coming! The Cicadas are coming!

2011-05-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I was at a preschool planning meeting and we were hashing out all sorts of pertinent details about field days and music programs. During the discussion, the impending cicada invasion was mentioned no less than ten times. I must say, I was intrigued. Turns out I was only vaguely aware of the existence of a cicada, and have never experienced an "invasion" like the one I was hearing about. I heard tale of shoveling left behind nymph skins from driveways, cicadas clinging for life to car tires, to cancelled picnics and all manner of cicada related horrors. Is it sad to say I was a little bit excited to see all the excitement unfold??

Well.

I must say I'm feeling a little let down. I don't know if it's just my part of town, but to be honest I'm rather hard pressed to find a single cicada in my yard. I had imagined plague-like circumstances. Bummer.

I have a feeling most for most folks, the extent of the last invasion has *ahem* grown a little bit in their minds. Maybe the cicadas in my yard are running a tiny bit behind. Maybe the great flood washed them all away last year. (Speaking of...floods? locusts?? Ummm, Nashville???)

Who knows. Maybe in thirteen years the 4 cicadas in my yard will have expanded to 4,000 in my mind...

The First Swim

2011-05-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

Our neighborhood pool opened May 1. On May 1 it was a toasty 65 degrees. I made the mistake of telling Drew exactly when the pool would open. You know, the week before when it was in the 80s. He was heart broken when I wouldn't let him do the polar bear swim!!!

Finally, yesterday, the stars aligned and we made it to the pool. I've mentioned before about the ratio-you know the one where you try to decide if you are going to spend more time getting ready for an activity than you actually spend on the activity itself? Yes, well, I'm always fighting the negative thoughts when it comes to the pool. I dream of a day with school-age children who will swim for hours and entertain themselves while I peruse a magazine. I'm just certain those days are right around the corner. Right? RIGHT??

All in all our trip to the pool was successful. It does look like I'm going to have to let go of my dream of having olympic swimmers in the family. Oh. Wait. I don't have that dream. But if I did, I'd have to let it go. Because I'm pretty sure they don't allow a duck floaty in the Olympics, and I can promise you Drew has ZERO intention of ever swimming without it. It's going to be pretty embarrassing on senior trip...

The kid loves his floaty (it's the kind that buckles in the back and has arm floats and a chest float) and will swim all over the pool in it. He even braved the rough waters of pre-teens playing some weird made-up shark game. (I will mention that their parents were nowhere to be found. They were probably back home enjoying an adult beverage and catching up on Tivo...) However. He will have NOTHING to do with jumping in the water-even with his floaty on. He decided to be brave and "go under". This consisted of putting his head sort of under the water-he didn't even get all of his hair wet. When he "emerged" he said, "Whoa. It's like the depths of the ocean under there." Bless his heart.

I did finally cajole him to take off the duck floaty and give his superhero kick board a whirl. It was not pretty. Panicking and swimming are not really a good combo. Here's the real kicker-he could TOUCH where we were in the pool. He just couldn't quit freaking out long enough to put his feet down. (I'm pretty sure there's a spiritual lesson in there for me somewhere...) So, before any emotional damage was done, we put the duck floaty back on pronto.

Meanwhile, little sister was not really impressed with the "wah" [translation: water]. When I tried to put her in her float I'm pretty sure the neighbors were picking up their phones to call the authorities. She protested like I was putting her in a human torture device. So, she and I sat on the side and she threw toys in for Drew to chase. And splashed her feet around a little. And to be honest, I was pretty ok with it. The pool hasn't exactly had time to warm up to any kind of humane temperature just yet.

I've decided that swimming lessons have risen to the top of the summer priority list. Magazine perusing has fallen all the way to the bottom.

Hippity Hop

2011-05-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

The day before Easter our neighborhood hosted the annual Easter Egg hunt. This was actually Drew's second time to attend, but Emily's first time. It was a full-on kid extravaganza complete with big bouncy contraption filled with sweaty kids. It is so fun to watch Drew in these kinds of moments these days. The little boy who clung to my leg, watching, with that look in his eye that said, "I want to, but I just can't make myself" is gone. He is replaced with a confident kid who jumps in with both feet.

See?

I think the look on his face is hilarious. This is his first time in an official "sack" for a sack race. He came around though, and even did the hopping race twice. He didn't win the first round, but I don't even think he noticed.

Next up was some face painting fun. In case I haven't mentioned it one or twenty-six times, Drew is sort of into superheroes. He really, REALLY wanted a Spiderman painted on his face. Right. So, the face painters were some sweet teenagers from our neighborhood. Two girls and a boy. I sent him over to the maybe 13 year old boy thinking he might be a comic book fan or something...

Well. I mean, if you squint...

Finally it was time for the egg hunt. Emily's age group got to start first.

It took her just a sec to figure out exactly what she was supposed to do. But, once she figured out there was candy inside the eggs...well, yes ma'am, that changes things, doesn't it?

After the hunt the kids and I sat down and I just let them go to town. This may seem irresponsible, but really? I didn't want to tote the candy home and have the fight for days. Let's just do this in one big fell candy binge swoop. So we did. It was pretty warm and the chocolate candy was, um, quite melty. And Emily loved every minute. Every melty, chocolatey minute.

18 months!

2011-04-29T18:48:00.000-07:00

Well helloooooo!!

Oh my dear eight readers, I am so sorry for my super blogger slackerness. As usual there is no good excuse, just lots of crummy ones.

I have been thinking about writing this 18 month update on Emily for weeks. Seeing as how she is now almost 19 months! I am really overwhelmed writing this, because there is just so much to say about her. I don't know if I will even get to all the important stuff-it's hard to remember it all. Particularly when it's been a week of preschool, severe weather, and a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Need I say more, really??

Here goes. My girl at 18 months...

Get a load of her on St. Paddy's day! We were actually in Knoxville this day, and my nephew's birthday is on the 17th. I included this picture here because it is a good intro to Emily's complete obsession with sugar. And the happy birthday song. Anytime someone brings up a birthday she sings, "To you, to you" and then follows it right up with "Cupcake, cupcake, cupcaaaaake!" Lucky for her we've been to a lot of birthday parties this month. She is definitely her mother's daughter in this category. She would live on chips and cupcakes (and apple juice) if I would let her. I was so proud of myself for Drew's healthy eating habits, and now I realize it had nothing to do with me. And in true female form she loves and adores chocolate. And popsicles...

She has more words than I could ever remember to make a list of. This has been so super fun for me. And I am still surprised and delighted every time she says something new. A couple of weeks ago she said her first three word sentence "I throw cup". Have I mentioned she has a bit of a temper?? I find it hilarious this is the first sentence she ever put together. So fitting.

This little drawer trick has started causing quite the trouble. Not only does she "help" me anytime I'm on the computer, she also unloads the silverware drawer periodically onto the floor. For a while I let her do it because it kept her busy. However, we've since had talks about how we don't throw silverware. So now the throwing is accompanied by that defiant look. It's a good time. The silverware trick earned her her first trip to time-out, which I'm pretty sure she thinks is a little bit fun. When her time is up and I go over to her, she hops up and grins at me. Sweet mercy, am I in for it or what?? Various other offenses include hitting Drew and screaming for no good reason. Perhaps we have a rebel in the making...

Her very girly side is starting to come out. We had a play date with some new friends. They have a son Drew's age (who is actually in my class at school) and a daughter Emily's age. She had all sorts of Jewelry and tutus and purses. Emily was in hog heaven. And I sort of felt like a bad mom because of our lack of girly things. While we were there we inherited a pair of silver sparkle shoes, and ya'll? The girl is smitten. This has led to a complete obsession with shoes. She loves them. And anytime she puts some on she says, "Drew-Drew"-meaning she wants to show Drew. She does this with her clothes and her shoes. I'm having to do a little training for the boy about an enthusiastic response. You can hear her question, "Do you think I'm beautiful?" I'm hoping and praying I can make her believe the yes. And convince her brother about how important it is for him to build her up.

I will say she has a pretty great brother. She knows it, too. She already copies everything he says and does and wants to be just like him. I love this so much. Well, except for when he tries to get her to say "booty". Because that is so hilarious, you know. She watches everyone and everything around her and doesn't miss a thing. It is amazing to think about all that is going on in her mind that she doesn't have words for. She loves to watch me get ready (standing in a drawer, of course, because, where else??) and when I put on my eye make-up she says, "Eyes, eyes" and will keep on until I put some on her eyes! I think I may need a few actual make-up lessons before she learns anything else from me!!!

I can't believe in less than six months she will be two years old. The last six months threatened to get lost, but I have tried so hard to soak up every fun and special moment with her. She is sweet and funny and such a blast. I love watching her grow, but I wish she'd stop doing it so fast!

What I Learned from my Curtains

2011-04-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

We moved into this house almost six years ago. It has been over six years since we saw it for the first time. The real estate market was definitely a seller's market back then-we were buying in January and houses were flying off the "shelves". Before we looked at our house, we looked at another house down the street. The seller had definitely set the "trap". Candles burning, beautiful paint colors, everything coordinating. It was beautiful. And at the very tippy top of our price range. Just after seeing that house we looked here. Quite a different story. A bachelor lived here. In what is now the dining room there was a gun safe. Upstairs there was a lovely oil painting...of some guys on a dock...with a bucket of Corona. His spacious bathtub was filled up with dirty laundry, and in the hallway, visible as you first walked in the door, a velvet-y sad clown painting. A sad clown!!! But the family room was by far the worst. Dark navy curtains. An animal head. A place for the BIGGEST dog you've ever seen. But, as we looked around, we realized the floor plan was the exact same. It was the same house! This house was just dressed more for a day at the lake than a nice dinner out. Throw in a huge deck, fenced in backyard, and woods behind the house and we were sold. And not for a price too far out of reach.

I moved in with the other house always in my head. That dressed up fancy, beautiful, smell good house. It was a trap alright.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about what might be instead of appreciating what is. (How obvious is it that this pertains to the rest of my life??) There is nothing wrong with dreaming a little. But sitting in a room and being bitter over the horrible navy curtains? Really not helpful. I decorated (and I use the term loosely) my family room based on my fantasy curtains. My decor did not match the room. But, it went perfectly with the room in my head. Curtains (or "drapes" as the more sophisticated set refers to them) are very expensive. And we have lots of windows. And we always had other priorities. But I still kept living in the room of my mind instead of giving into what actually was.

Recently, when I was in Knoxville, I was invited to visit my Grandmother's house and claim anything I wanted. My sweet Ga-Ga is in a nursing home. She won't be going back to her house. It is still shocking and sad to think about. She deserves (and will be getting) her very own post. But, while I was there, swimming in such fond nostalgia, I came across one throw pillow. One throw pillow that changed everything.

I immediately loved it. And at first, I thought, "This doesn't match my family room." Suddenly, and I can't really even explain it, a whole vision for the room appeared in my head and ,get this, it included the curtains! I took out all of the things that existed coherently only in my mind and replaced them with things that bring the room together. It's pretty remarkable. I was blessed enough to get some great pieces of milk glass (also from Ga-Ga) and found a perfect piece of fabric for $7. Seven dollars is what it cost to let my family room finally be who it is meant to be.

It sounds dramatic, I know. But it kind of was dramatic for me. In my eyes, it's beautiful, and truth be told, I've never felt that way about anything in my home. I think my family room is beautiful. Skanky old couch and all.

All around me is the call to embrace what IS. Not what I wish was, or not what so-and-so has. If I embrace my life as it unfolds, letting go of the choke hold I've had on it always, if I just stop. And breathe. And watch...

...beautiful.

Anatomy Lesson

2011-03-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

We have been having many discussions about "pecs" at my house lately. As in, pectoral muscles? Yeah. This all started because all super hero action figures are quite built-as you would expect for men of steel. Their pecs are rather large. Much bigger than any actual man we know. So, naturally, Drew started referring to them by the name of girl parts in this region. I'll not be using the term. Heaven forbid someone googling that word lands here!! Big Dan let him know that on guys those parts are actually called pecs. The whole thing has been very confusing.

A few days ago I came downstairs after getting dressed and Drew exclaimed, "Mom, you have huge pecs." Um. I'm pretty sure I just stared at him because, well, there are no words. I am an extremely modest person. Or a prude. Or whatever. The truth is I'm not comfortable talking body parts with my 4 year old. I really try to play it cool, though. I try to make it so it's no big deal. I just answer matter of fact and try to move on. But on the inside? DYING. He has said some really...wow...kind of stuff.

Imagine my delight as I explained (matter-of-factly and not sweating or freaking out) that Emily would not grow pecs until she was a teenager. And I did not use the word pecs, just to be clear. After explaining that big pecs on men are a result of working out (and leaving out the probability of steroid use...), I would not be surprised if Drew starts asking for a set of weights.

Big pecs. It's what you always dream your child will aspire to...

Welcome Spring...or...wait...

2011-03-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm sorry for the silence, but I've been on SPRING BREAK! WOO! (Don't you really feel like any time you say "spring break" you have to follow it up with a woo?)

I was sort of laughing at myself for being excited about Spring Break (woo!) because I only work three days a week. I'm such a wimp. But, let me just say, when Sunday night rolled around and I wasn't packing lunches and going over lesson plans? Yesssss.

Our week did not start out as I had hoped. We did not make it to Dinosaur World. A. It was raining. B. Emily needed a trip to the pediatrician. I will say that my kids had an absolute blast playing in the Dr.'s office waiting room for a very extended period of time, so it was all the same to them. Although, Dinosaur World would have been cheaper. Em had another ear infection. Other moms? Are you sort of glad when you find out your kid is actually sick at the ped's office? I mean, I don't rejoice in the sickness of my children, but there's nothing worse than the doctor saying, "Um. You're a wacko. They're fine." Alright, fine. No doctor has ever said that but you can see it in their eyes.

Tuesday we spent the day with Aunt Katy. She and I put the finishing touches on all of our gear for Wade's party. Did I mention we were doing the party? I know I've mentioned how much we love a party. We did a "Cars" party for him and I'm pretty sure he loved it! I, of course, have exactly zero pictures of it, but Katy has bunches, so I'll get them posted. Then you can ooh and ahh and then hire us to do your child's next party.

Wednesday we loaded up and the kids and I headed to Knoxville for our REAL spring break. As you well know, any kind of trip is sort of a gamble. It can go one of two ways-total blast or complete disaster. Somehow it never lands in the middle. But, either way it will be a memory, right? It might require a glass of wine when you remember it, but you'll remember. I'm happy to report our Spring Break (woo!) 2011 trip was a complete blast. We rolled into town on Wednesday night and I have never seen cousins so happy to see each other. Thursday we took advantage of free admission day at the Oak Ridge Children's museum. Us and the rest of East Tennessee. I have not been there in many moons. It was fun to check out all the new stuff. Drew had a good time, but I learned something important about him. He likes to take his time at a museum. He was not at all happy to be rushed through the exhibits. He was also not impressed with "soooo many kids". But, all was made well when he got to eat a Happy Meal with a SUPERHERO in it. (Incidentally, the super hero was the junior version of Robin, who looked EXACTLY like Charlie Sheen. No joke. The moms were cracking up.)

On Friday we met my good friend and her boys at open gym time at a local gymnastics place. Holy moly. The big kids were in hog heaven. Drew played his guts out. And, not to be outdone, Van was a wild man in the foam pit! The car ride to and from the gym was the highlight for me. I had all three 4 year olds in my back seat. The conversation reminded me of lunch time in my preschool class. It all starts normal enough, and then always devolves to boogers and other bodily functions. And lots of cracking up. Friday night after the kids were tucked in, the sister's and I (and a couple of men folk) burned the midnight+ oil setting up for the party. We took a moment of silence for our middle school student council advisor and all the hours we spent decorating for dances. Had any one of us had to do it alone, it might have been miserable, but hanging out together was probably my favorite part of the whole weekend. It didn't hurt that I had had two Starbucks doubleshot+energy drinks that day. I think 2011 will go down as the year of the caffeine.

Saturday we took a leisurely morning and then found out about some family things that had to be done and scrambled around like wild people. But, I was bound and determined to make it to Weston's soccer game, and boy am I glad I went! He scored his first goal! I screamed like I was at the super bowl. He was just a little proud of himself. I could cry right now just thinking about it. I love that kid.

The party was a total blast and I think Wade had a great time, which is really all that mattered to me. My son spent approximately the whole party riding a power wheels Harley. In past visits, he was way too nervous to ride one. Somehow, this time, it all came together for him and he was a maniac! You should have seen him slap that sucker into reverse and correct his course. Classic. I knew when I looked up and he was sitting backwards on the handle bars saying, "Oh yeah, oh yeah" that we had crossed over some sort of confidence barrier. I probably should've been more concerned for his safety, but mostly I just felt happy for him!

After the party, I loaded up the kids and hit the road back to Nashville. Best trip back ever! Kids slept and there was no traffic. We had all day Sunday to reboot before heading back to school.

A whole extra week has passed since I started this post...niiiice! And while I was off doing whatever I was doing, winter came back. Did you hear me??? It's COLD outside. Seriously. Don't taunt me with high 70s and then in a matter of days hits the low 30s. I'm just saying. I blame myself. Never should've packed up all those sweaters...

Crying Over Spilt Milk

2011-03-13T11:28:00.001-07:00

I am not a good housekeeper. I am sad about it, but it is the truth. I'm a mess (in more ways than one) and I have to work really hard to keep my house even slightly neat. Emphasis on slightly.

Some time ago I realized there had been a chocolate milk spill in my fridge. I will not tell you the specific length of time because there is really only so much of my pathetic I'm willing to share. I saw the spill was massive. All down the back wall of the fridge, pooling up at the bottom, under the meat drawer. And do you want to know what I did? I closed the door and walked away. I know some of you are dying right this second. My sister is both simultaneously shaking her head in shame and trying to figure out how to get down here asap and get a hold of my forsaken fridge.

Every time I opened the door, I literally felt sick at the thought of cleaning it. So, I would just close the door again. (Please don't hate. You have no idea how utterly embarrassed I am to write this...) And my fridge is not the only place in my house I've spent time ignoring.

Today, I tackled the fridge. I wanted it to be easy. I wanted to find the perfect tool to scrape it all out in one fell swoop. What I got was a whole lotta scrubbing. The kind that makes your fingers sore. There was nothing to do but to scrub down through the layers that I allowed to harden and crust over time.

I knew as soon as I started scrubbing this wasn't just about my fridge. The Lord has had me in a place of facing some places in my heart that I have continuously shut the door on. He has led me by the hand and turned my shoulders saying, "Let's take a look." And on my most stubborn days, He gently takes my chin. "Look. Don't be afraid. Just look." And I won't lie. I've found mess. Dirty, crusty, stuck on mess. Mess that, if I had only taken a look long ago, probably wouldn't require so much scrubbing. Because the scrubbing? It hurts. A lot.

Today though, as I scrubbed the bottom of the fridge, each time I saw the white start to come through, it encouraged me to keep scrubbing. If I focused on how much was still left to deal with, I felt overwhelmed. If I focused on that little patch of white, I found myself thinking, "It's working. Don't quit."

In my soul I'm beginning to see those patches of white shining through. The Christ in me that has been covered over by my stubborn refusal to SEE. He is teaching me how to scrub, and most importantly, He is teaching me to keep scrubbing even when it hurts.

I need change. I need to face each mess when it comes, right that minute. It takes God-sized courage to face our own mess, it really does. My sore, worn out hands are raised to him to say "Thank you". He doesn't ask us to scrub without teaching us how.

Copy Cat

2011-03-11T18:03:00.001-08:00

Well, we've crossed over another preschool threshold. Did you know it is HILARIOUS to repeat back everything your mom says?? Yeah. Hilarious. Can I just say that it is beyond weird to have my own kid doing all these "kid" things? Do you know what I mean? And some things never die over time apparently. He is still an amateur, though. He hollers from the backseat "Mom, say something!" To which I answer, of course, "Something." "No," he says, "say something else. I promise I won't copy you!"

I'll let you play out the rest of the scenario in your mind...it's rather predictable.

Also, have I mentioned his new obsession with "Subways"? As in, the sandwich shop. And yes, he puts an "s" on the end. It adds some East Tennessee flair, just like when folks say "The Walmarts". I got a slew of gift cards from the awesome moms in my class at Christmas time, and one of them was for Subway. So, one night for dinner I took the kids to "Subways". Oh, the wonder of choosing your very own sandwich toppings! Drew could barely believe it! He loved his sandwich (and had no idea they have a kids meal. Add it to the list of things I don't tell...) and now asks to eat at "Subways" almost every night. Last weekend he ate an entire 6 inch sub all by himself.

Emily has taken to keeping a stash of snacks all around the house. Yesterday afternoon she opened a cabinet and pulled out the slider thingy and declared "cracker!" A whole little bowl of crackers had been stashed there the day before. Self-serve snacks-awesome. She has also figured out how to stand in drawers to reach new heights. Anytime I am at my desk at the computer she opens the bottom drawer and stands in it so she can reach to type. It's very helpful. Also, there is a series of drawers on one side of the silverware drawer and the bottom one makes a great step stool to wreak havoc inside the silverware drawer. And to "help" me cook. Also known as almost catching on fire. While annoying, I'm pretty impressed with her ingenuity!

Today officially starts spring break. While we won't be hitting any beaches or doing any wild partying, we do have some pretty crazy plans that just might include a trip to Dinosaur World. Also, I've got a new obsession with figuring out how to hang a tire swing in our back yard. And some climbing rocks. I hope my vision comes to reality, because you will be very impressed. Because in my mind? Genius plan. I don't know if we've met, but if we have, you can probably predict the outcome. Something disastrous and/or mind-blowingly stupid will happen. The good news is, I'll have another story to tell...

Fine Dining

2011-03-07T18:53:00.000-08:00

Ya'll have heard me whine about eating with children once or 1,000 times. And I have to admit, for the past few months I have been pretty lame about meal times around here. And by lame I mean, a whole lotta microwave and not much (or any) sitting at the table. In my defense, Emily has been in sort of an in-between phase as far as eating is concerned. She was not really ready to eat much of what I would fix for myself, so I just fixed kid food all the time. She has sort of turned a corner, and combined with the fact that she can now eat some things with milk as an ingredient, I think we might be making some progress.

I actually cooked dinner every night last week and we...drumroll please...ate at the table with no t.v. on. Don't get worried. This is NOT going to be an idyllic post about how sweet our family dinners are. Au contraire. I was just thinking tonight, "Why do I do this to myself?" I thought that right after Drew got up for the 105th time and Emily leaned back in her seat for the 105th time and almost fell all the way over. Emily had eaten the "pulp" out of her cucumber slices and left the rinds laying on the table. You know, right next to her plate. Drew spilled ketchup and Catalina dressing on the table and it was congealing as we sat there. Emily likes to eat with a fork, but can't really get anything on the fork, so I have to put each bite on there, hand her the fork and then she feeds herself.

Why?

Because. Being a parent is not about having a fun, quiet, simple time. It's about training little people to be their best selves and to live lives that honor the Lord. This is no small task when you consider we all enter the world pretty much as barbarians!! And maybe it's too much to have them sit at the table, and use a napkin, and clear their plates (well, Drew gets to clear Emily's plate...) and maybe when they're grown with kids they'll let their kids run around with a chicken nugget hanging out the side of their mouth because they were traumatized by all the sitting at the table. I kind of doubt it, though.

I don't want to say that I like our time at the dinner table. Because then I would be a big, fat, liar. I don't like it at all. But, deep down I know it's right. So, I press on. And thank the good Lord for my Pampered Chef scraper-it scrapes up a multitude of sins!

If you have any good, quick dinner ideas for the toddler-preschool set that is also acceptable adult fare, I'd love to hear about them. My friend Laura posted about "Make your own Salad night" and I tried it here. It was a hit! Even Emily chowed down on some salad.

It's not gourmet. It's not home-made. But it's healthy. And it's made with love. Even if it is a hasty bit of love!

Weekend News

2011-03-06T18:27:00.001-08:00

I sure wish I could stay up late enough to watch Saturday Night Live. It doesn't help one bit that I now live in the Central Standard Time Zone. And also, do you like how I still pretend I'm new to Nashville. I've lived here almost 6 years. It feels like 6 months still.

Anyway. Sometimes on nights when I can't sleep I get a little bit excited because I am up late enough to watch the Jimmy Fallon show. Have you seen it?? It is hilarious. I mean, HILARIOUS. If I had Tivo it would be at the top of my list.

None of that has anything to do with the the actual content of the post. Forgive me.

We had a rainy, stay-at-home weekend this weekend. I was a little worried it might cause some stir-craziness, but I guess we've had enough time outside that a couple of days home and we're still ok. I did build a fort and insist on some "trampoline time", but otherwise all was well. Funny side note-I've been letting Drew stay up late on the weekends and we watch t.v. in my bed. We don't have cable up there, so we're pretty much stuck with whatever's on, and sometimes it ends up being Joel Osteen because anything on network is way too adult for Drew. One night "Hairspray" was on, and can I just say, he loved it??!! He still asks to watch it regularly. Ha! So, last night "King Kong" was on and we were watching a little bit of it at the end. He was watching King Kong run around crazy and he said, "Mommy, I think he needs some trampoline time".

Today I was sitting at my computer and Emily sauntered into the kitchen, looked up at me and said, "Hi, Mom!" HI MOM???? What are you, 12?? I cracked up. You can so tell that she loves being able to talk. She has also started singing, which is super cute. She is very shy about most things, though, so you kind of have to catch her doing it without her knowing.

Drew has a CD player in his room to play music at night to help him get to sleep. Today I was putting away laundry and he said, "Mom come here! I need to show you something. It's very fancy!" Um, very fancy? Alright. I went into his room and he said, "Listen, it's cowboys singing!" And he was right. He had switched the CD player from CD function to AM radio and was broadcasting the Grand Ole Opry in his room. He was very proud. And I must say, that is pretty fancy!

We are crossing our fingers for pretty weather tomorrow so we can hike right after school.

Wishing ya'll a great week!

Pussy willow

2011-03-04T18:18:00.001-08:00

Please tell me you snickered just a little at the title. It will make me feel so much better about myself.

My son, he gets some weird things stuck in his little brain. Back in the winter (you know, two weeks ago...) when we were on a complete t.v. binge (don't judge...) Drew watched an episode of Ms. Spider's Sunny Patch and became obsessed with pussy willow. On the show Ms. Spider has a "stuffie" made out of pussy willow, her daughter uses it at Grandma's, loses it, drama ensues.

Drew decided he wanted his very own "stuffie" made from pussy willow. I'm not kidding.

I tried explaining that it wouldn't really work. Spiders are tiny, so their "stuffies" are tiny. We would need like 6,000 bushels of pussy willow to make a "stuffie" his size. I thought we were done with the conversation.

A few weeks went by and Drew asked, "Mom, how do bugs hibernate in the winter?" I did what any decent mom does-I pulled out the World Book encyclopedia. Ok, fine, I googled. When I explained what google was all about Drew's eyes got wide and he said, "Mom!! Can we google pussy willow?" I was nervous. Google can be dangerous, youknowwhatI'msayin'?? But we found it, and learned all about it. And we are now the proud owners of our very own fake pussy willow. On the table in the dining room. Ushering in spring like none other.

I just have no idea what I'd do without that kid.

In Case You Missed It...

2011-03-03T18:13:00.001-08:00

If you are reading this post, there's a slight possibility you missed the rapture. When I tell you what happened today, especially in light of yesterday's post, you are going to be convinced the end is at least near, if it has not come. Maybe those billboards are right...

We had an amazing day today. I have a to-do list miles long, but I was craving time-quality time-with my kids. I have worked a ton this week (all you full-time working mommas feel free to make fun) and this was our first day home together in a while. Drew has decided that he is super into hiking and, ya'll? There is nothing in life that makes me happier. I am the happiest when I am in the woods. I live, literally, minutes from a state park. Today I thought, "Why haven't I been doing this more often?" I've been sort of judging myself lately for "losing who I am" and things of that nature. There's a lot wrapped up in that crazy burrito, but mostly? I've been having babies! Drew is just now really big enough to get out there and tackle nature without breaking down after a few minutes. So, I let myself off the hook and just felt happy we were out there today. Drew's favorite part of hiking is picking the trail and following the arrows. We did have a few moments of confusion as he looked at an arrow and said, "Uh, mom? If we go up we'll be in the trees!" We had a little lesson on how if the arrow points up it means straight. And then I told him, "Get used to it son. Lots of things in life are just plain confusing."

Emily rides in my fancy carrier on my back. It feels just like carrying a pack and this, too, takes me to my happy place. Only a pack that talks baby talk and pats your back is way better than carrying stinky socks and hiking food! We did have a *little* trouble learning how to get her in the pack in the back riding position. After a few practice sessions at home she would shriek any time I pulled the pack out. We pushed through, and now we're pros. Well, at least getting her in. Getting her out is still rather precarious. Today I had to do it in front of about 10 other moms (one of whom was wearing the exact carrier) and I tried to be nonchalant. I was all "Sure, I just swing her around by one arm all the time..."

After our hike we played on the nature playground and headed home for lunch. Drew was in such a good mood. Being outside does that boy a world of good. With that in mind we took a long walk to the grocery and the hardware store after nap time.

It was at the grocery store, at the check-out no less, where the miracle occurred. We were in the u-scan line, and you know how finicky the u-scan computer lady is. I had just finished hissing at Drew to stay off the platform with the bags or the whole system would be screwed up for who knows how long. Or something along those lines. As I was finishing up my order, Drew tugged on my shirt and said, I kid you not, these exact words:

"Mama, I love you so much. You do lots of nice things for me, and I am thankful for you."

And then the shofar blew and the heavens opened.

When I came to, I glanced around. There were witnesses! Actual other live grown-ups who heard him say this!

I couldn't help but get tickled. Remember how I said motherhood constantly catches me off guard?? It was almost like I could see God wink at me. Just when you think you have it all figured out...

Amazing what happens when you just let go.

Meanie

2011-03-02T18:30:00.001-08:00

I know I've said to tons of parents over the years, "Oh, he/she doesn't mean it when he/she says those things. They love you. They're just testing things out. Don't take it personally."

It's amazing how much wisdom and insight you have before you have children.

We have entered the land of four year old injustice. The land where every word uttered from the mouth of mom is met with some form of the following, "Awww nuts [sidebar: NO idea where he got this...], NO FAIR, you are such a meanie. A MEANIE. *Roar*". And if we happen to be in the car at the time, there is some extra seat kicking just for emphasis.

There are so many mom moments that just catch you off guard. I've been around kids for a lot of years. I've seen this. I've heard about it. But, somehow, it still comes as a shock. Because, what? I'm going to have the ONE kid who says, "You know, mother, you're right. You are so insightful about my needs. I'm so glad you are looking out for me."

I knew it was coming, but truthfully? I'm a little huffed.

Today I could feel a big ol' lecture working it's way up. It went something like this. "You know what? I'm so tired of you calling me mean. I work really hard for you and do lots of really nice, good things for you, and you don't appreciate it. And furthermore, your behavior is what earned you these consequences in the first place that are 'not fair', so blame yourself not me." I maybe would've thrown in a "young man" or two just for good measure. But you know what I did instead? I ignored the tirade. I just rolled down my window and flat pretended it wasn't happening.

Remember all those times I told a mom "Don't take it personally"?? Yeah. About that. Some moms embrace the meanie role, calling themselves meanie just to irritate the kids. I think there is some part of me still trying to be Mary Poppins, hoping to never be meanie. And now that I've admitted to feeling this way, I feel like I'm standing here nekkid in front of all of you. Be glad this is the written word, friends. But, I realized, it wouldn't bother me a bit if there wasn't some part of me who never wants to be seen as meanie.

In understanding the unbelievably high standard I have set for myself, I could feel myself relax. Wind in my hair, sun on my face, I laughed and said, "Yeah. I am a big meanie!"

Blog Salad

2011-02-16T18:29:00.001-08:00

You like how I changed that up right there? See, last time it was "Blog Soup" and this time "Blog Salad". Same lame concept, kicky new name. I know, I know. It's why you just keep coming back for more.

So many random tidbits to report.

First, Matthew Perry is back on TV and I'm more than a little excited about it. Chandler Bing is probably my all time favorite character from TV, and I have a hunch Matthew Perry is kind of like him in real life. If this is not true, please don't tell me. Last week I eagerly anticipated his new show "Mr. Sunshine" and proceeded to fall asleep about 10 minutes in. This really had nothing to do with the show, and everything to do with, you know, exhaustion. But, I'm watching right now-yep, in real time-and I can definitely see shades of Chandler. I think I'll have a few Girl Scout cookies to celebrate.

And, speaking of awesome segues, my Girl Scout cookie order was wrong. WRONG. Instead of two boxes of Thin Mints, which is an obvious part of any Girl Scout cookie order, I got two boxes of some new fangled flavor alleging itself to be "Dulce De Leche". It's sort of a tragedy. I have no idea who the random girl is I bought the cookies from and there is no way to correct the mistake. So, I'm doing what any normal person would do, and that is stalking the Kroger waiting for the Girl Scouts to show up so I can get my freaking Thin Mints. Because buying the cookies is sort of like giving to charity, right?

Drew has said some hilarious things lately. The greatest hit of this week was when he said, "So I have to sit in the family room all by MYSELF???? ALONE??" [I was in a mommy time out. On a break. It was a claustrophobic moment] "Ok fine, I guess it'll just be me and MR. NOBODY in here!" Shew. That is funny stuff.

Speaking of hilarious four year olds, I had a great moment at lunch on Monday. We were discussing different musical instruments (because one kid gave me a trumpet silly band for Valentine's Day and it launched a conversation. It's sort of how things flow in the three year old classroom...) and one boy was talking about a Triangle, which he called a ring ding, and said, "I think my dad played one of those in the 80s." IN THE 80s he said!!!! And he did not even crack a smile. Totally deadpan. I think I lost 10 lbs laughing.

Emily is a little talking machine. She said all sorts of words just today. Including, but not limited to, Swing-"ning"; Green bean-"bean bean"; flower-no idea how to write it out; and Emmy-"memmy". It. is.so.fun. She also started saying, "R you??" when she's looking for something. And when I say, "Where is your _________?" She says, "Hmmmmmm..."

She also thinks it's hilarious to dart into the road repeatedly when we play outside. She probably wouldn't have kept doing it if I hadn't laughed that first time. Hindsight, people, hindsight.

A Weekend Visitor

2011-02-14T18:34:00.001-08:00

We had a special guest at Casa de Hull over the weekend. And please, do not judge my use of the made up spanglish. It's just what popped out. I could spend a couple hours psycho analyzing that for sure, but I'm too tired. ANYWAY.

Over the weekend Buzz Bee the bumblebee stayed at our house. Buzz Bee is the class mascot in Drew's classroom at school. For one weekend of the school year each child gets to bring Buzz Bee home. I know. Drew's teacher is pretty much the be all end all of preschool teachers. And if she wasn't so sweet and kind and didn't give me all her stuff, I'd probably be a little mad at her.

So Buzz Bee came to our house. Which is great and all, until you realize you have to write a narrative about all the things Buzz Bee and your child did over the weekend so they can read it during class on Monday. Well. I don't know if we've met but I struggle a little bit with, you know, be the teeniest bit competitive. I got right to work reading what the other kids had done with Buzz Bee. And then I had a tiny panic attack. Because we had no plans for the weekend. Zero. Drew and Emily were coming off of being sick and I was pooped. But clearly I could not write in the Buzz Bee book "Drew and Buzz Bee watched six straight hours of Nick Jr. today. In fact, Drew and his mom have watched so much Nick Jr. lately that his mom is pretty sure she knows the moves to the closing number on 'Fresh Beat Band.'" After all, I have a reputation to uphold. Thank goodness the weather cooperated.

You know, that, and I can embellish a story when I need to. I made grocery shopping at Wal-Mart sound like a big adventure. And then I felt a little bit judged by the other moms for shopping at Wal-Mart when they definitely wrote in the Buzz Bee book about their trip to Whole Foods. Look, we just want Buzz Bee to be well rounded, right?

As I scribbled out Buzz Bee's story at the last minute this morning, I wondered how many of the other moms had a little bit of mom panic over Buzz Bee. Then I realized, it's probably just me. It takes a real special brand of crazy to be put over the mental edge by a stuffed animal bee.

Cabin Fever

2011-02-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

Sunday night, Drew started coughing. I'm fairly certain the middle of the night coughing is one of those special sounds that sets off the adrenaline pumps inside a mom's body. The bad news is, there is rarely anything you can do to stop the cough, therefore all night long you sit straight up in bed like someone stabbed you with an epi-pen. So, Sunday night, Drew was coughing.

Monday morning he was not looking his best, but Drew is a trooper. He wasn't running a fever and I really needed to be at school. I thought for sure he'd be fine. MOM FAIL. I gave him some medicine just before school started and told his teacher to let me know if she thought he needed to go home. At recess time she came to let me know that he had a complete meltdown in the gym. This is not normal. I knew he needed to go home. So, we packed up, picked up Emily and settled in to recuperate. Not counting a two hour workshop on Tuesday night, and a couple of 10 minute grocery trips, we have not left the house since Monday afternoon. And while it has been nice to slow way down, rub backs, and stay in pajamas, we're all getting a little nuts! We've had to get a little creative with things to do...

Last night it snowed again. When we woke up the sky was brilliant blue and the sun was shining. Drew desperately wanted to go play in the snow. I did not desperately want to play in the snow, but like almost always I was so glad I listened to him. We did not have a no-holds barred superhero snowball fight, but we did take a walk. We talked about how the snow looked like glitter because of the sun. We talked about the animal tracks and the people tracks and how they show where someone-or something-is headed. We made letters in the snow with sticks. Even Emmy let me put her down for a minute or two and made tiny footprints in the snow. I am learning, slowly, slowly, to be in the moment. To savor, even when it's crazy.

I have great memories of eating icicles when I was little. It was probably a little less toxic back then. But I couldn't resist plucking this one off the mailbox and telling Drew he could eat it.

And now, would you mind terribly if I spill a little heart out?

I have always seen lessons in nature. Creation is one of the ways the Creator speaks to me. Yesterday the forecast loomed large. More snow. More time inside. More cold. More sickness. But. Before the clouds rolled back in. Before the snow finally started to fall...the sun. It came pouring through the windows, just for a moment, and I stood and basked. I thought of the green buds Drew discovered in the flower bed. How he said, "Momma, I have a surprise for you!" Those buds are now covered over with snow. But they are there. Reminding, like the sun, this season won't last always. Spring is growing, deep, down in the darkness. And in the Creator's time, it will burst forth. I hope He will give me the grace to wait.

True Confessions of a Preschool Teacher

2011-02-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

My hermit crabs are dead. All three of my hermit crabs have moved on to greener...well, sandier, pastures. The first one bit it before Christmas. I wasn't too surprised. He was looking a bit "off" from the beginning. The other two were victims of the snow events. And the fact that I refused to drive out in the snow to water some hermit crabs. It might make me mean, but I have the lives of my children to consider. Well, that and the very hard decision to get out of my pajamas.

So, the guys are gone and the kids in my class have NO IDEA. Why? Because I have left all the shells in the tank. In case you were unaware, when a hermit crab dies, they come out of their shell. I don't know the reason behind this, except maybe it's their last payback for all that non-watering. It's a freaky thing to see a hermit crab skeleton staring you down. And smelling like, well, like dead crab. Anyway. I'm just not at a place in my life where I can answer 101 three year old questions about the dead hermit crabs. So. I'm pretending like they are still alive. Maybe not actively pretending they are alive. More like passively not mentioning they are dead. My crabs were never a rowdy bunch to begin with and usually spent most of the daylight hours hiding under a big seashell. So, it's not overly suspicious that they aren't moving around too much. Do I feel a *little* bad when the kids yell, "Ms. Kelly, I think the crab is getting ready to move"? Yeah. A little. But it's not really a motivating kind of pain...

I felt much better when the teacher across the hall confessed she was doing the same thing. She confessed after another teacher closed up her room for her one day and said, "And I put your crab up and gave him some water." And then the hysterical laughter ensued until she could spit out that he was dead.

It's like one big giant preschool scam.

Bizarro WalMart

2011-02-01T18:12:00.000-08:00

You know I have a blatant hate/hate relationship with Wal-Mart, right? I'm pretty sure I've covered that topic one or twenty-six times around here. You need to know, that *i think* I might have found some sort of weird Wal-Mart utopia. We all know that when it comes to getting things for the best price you can't beat Wal-Mart. We also know that if you need say, groceries, and Valentine's cards, and brown craft pom-poms, the one-stop shopping can be alluring.

Well. Several weeks ago I started taking a new route home from Katy's in the afternoon because my commute (*snort*) was wearing me out. And since I've decided to work around anything in my life that raises my blood pressure, I decided to avoid large sections of interstate. (Uncle Jon actually hooked me up since he drives in my direction every day...) As I was driving on aforementioned new route, I noticed what looked like a brand new Wal-Mart up on a lonely hill. I asked my sister about it and she said I should give it a try that it was actually nice. So I did. And ya'll? I had quite the delightful experience. It was not crowded, it was clean, the workers were NICE, AND there were adequate lanes open. I know. Yes, I double checked to make sure I was really at Wal-Mart. I'm telling you. It's Wal-Mart in an alternate universe.

Because I'm so in love with the new place I did my grocery shopping there tonight. With two kids fresh off a long day. I had to work today-first aid and cpr training you know- and when we got to Wal-Mart it was raining. A lot. Like a middle of summer drencher, only it's the dead of winter (or haven't I mentioned that yet?) So, we bunched up under the umbrella and headed into Wal-Mart like a pack of refugees. It took me an hour to shop. AN HOUR. And, I have to tell you, my kids were awesome. I feel comfortable bragging on them in times like these, because you know I'm not one to sugar coat. But an hour of grocery shopping for anyone is misery and we actually had, dare I say it, fun!

We got to the check-out lanes and they even did great there. This in itself is amazing because this is where the wheels usually fall off. In truth, I'm the one who nearly threw a tantrum at the check-out. Can I just tell you that the rotating table of plastic bag madness at Wal-Mart stresses.me.out. It's like load up your cart roulette. Here...it...comes...grabthebaggrabthebaggrabthebag. This process is not made any more pleasant when the checker, who clearly has not ever been at the check-out lane with children to attend to, acts put out when you don't grab fast enough. Seriously. The pressure. And I was already annoyed with this girl because she was putting 1-2 items in every bag. Good grief. My buggy looked like I had shopped for 6 families instead of one and it was all bag!

It was finally time to head back to the car and, naturally, the rain had picked up. So, I did what I do...improvise. Imagine if you will-Emily in the cart seat, Drew hanging onto the handle wedged between me and Emily trying with all his might to wield an enormous umbrella, and me pushing the cart trying to frantically remember where I parked. By the time everyone was loaded up and all 7,000 plastic bags were in the back, my pants were soaked from about the knee down along with my canvas Converse. All of sudden I had a flashback to the time I worked at Six Flags and spent the whole summer with wet shoes. *Shudder*.

I won't even mention we had THREE more stops after that. My kids win the total trooper award this week. I think they are doing penance for all the mayhem last week. I.am.exhausted. And when the power almost went out last night? Well, I just started begging Jesus out loud to please, please not let it happen!

A Break in the Clouds

2011-01-30T10:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday it was 50 degrees! And the sun was out! THE ACTUAL, REAL LIVE SUN!

It was a happy day in the land of Hull. When I said to Drew, "Let's go play outside. It's warm." He replied, "It's WARM???" I know son, I know. Only one more day of January, the most dreadful month of the year, and we're on to February. February wins a prize, because although a winter month, it's short. And then maybe winter will go away for good. Ok fine. At least until next year after I've been complaining all summer about how IT'S SO HOT.

My state of cabin fever has hit an all time high. It dawned on me the other night when I said, "Oh, I'm so excited! This is my favorite episode of The Backyardigans!" And I meant it. (Polka Palace Party, if you must know...) Something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.

I know the kids are feeling it, too. Not just my kids at home, but the kids at school. There is definitely an undercurrent of ALL THE CRAZY that just might explode any minute.

Emily is definitely in on the act. Girlfriend is in a mood today. I had a big fantasy of getting some actual housecleaning accomplished this morning. We skipped church because I have what I'm pretty sure is a raging sinus infection and I'm waiting for the right side of my face to split in half. Nobody wants to have to clean that up at church. So, as I was saying, I was going to tackle my house and wrestle it into some sort of shape. Only my kids had other big plans. Drew wanted to watch "Beauty and the Beast" on the VCR. Yes, we still have a VCR and VHS tapes. He wanted me to watch too. DESPERATELY. Emily was attached to my leg like a giant barnacle, so I gave in and sat in the playroom floor and watched. Drew's favorite part was when the Beast fought off all the wolves. He exclaimed, "He's like a superhero!" I guess you see what you want to see!

In the meantime, Emily was furious and needed us both to know it. She screamed and thrashed and THREW TOYS. Like, in a fit of rage threw toys. A.palling. She got in big time trouble, and then of course was heartbroken and needed to sob about that. Hit the repeat button on that about 1600 times and you'll have a good glimpse of the Lord's Day here.

Emily is starting to put together two words, which is pretty great. She says, "Up please" and "I do"-which she got straight from Van, and "I stuck" and "I bonk" anytime she falls or hits her head, which by the way, is A LOT. Today she added "I bite" to the list. Yep. She kept trying to bite me and I would say, "Emily, no bite!" And she would laugh and say, "I bite!" Is anyone out there afraid for me yet??? Annnnd, if "I bite" is not devilish enough, she's already started hugging things to her and saying, "Mine!"

You do realize she's nowhere near 2 yet, right? I.am.in.for.it.

So Glamourous

2011-01-27T05:38:00.000-08:00

You know that old cliche, about a mom with young kids and how all she wants is to get a shower? You know why it's an old cliche?? Because it is so freaking true. The first challenge is remembering that you need a shower. This seems fairly basic, but I'm sorry to admit, there have been times I have outright forgotten. Wow. That's fairly embarrassing. The second challenge is finding that golden window of time when the stars align and you can get a three minute shower without someone falling down or falling apart. All those quick camp showers in my past trained me well for motherhood. Who knew?

Yesterday I grabbed a moment and did my best to shower and fix my hair. The shower thing has become even more challenging now that Drew is too old to just wander around the bathroom while I shower. I mentioned the horrid glass door we have right? Well, let's just say we've reached a gawking stage. Is that too much information? He cannot understand why Emily can wander about freely in the bathroom, but he has to hang out in my room until I'm done. Which, by the way, is all of 5 minutes. But apparently, it's SO LONELY out there all by himself. And I'll take FOREVER. He is honing his hyperbole skill.

After I finally finished showering I had to try and tackle my hair. Emily is terrified of the hair dryer. She sees me pull it out of the drawer and goes running. And then proceeds to stand outside my bathroom door and scream in terror for the entirety of the hair drying experience. Which is a while, because, in the words of my hair dresser, my hair is "massive". Is that really a word you want used in regards to your hair? Lustrous? Yes. Shiny. Yes? Massive? Eh.

As I went to begin the very complicated clip and dry in layers system yesterday I realized my round brush was nowhere to be found. In case you didn't know, the round brush is crucial to the straight hair. This is so riveting, I know. Finally, in frustration, I just decided never mind, forget the drying. I knew as soon as I gave it up and moved on to something else, I'd find the brush. And I did. In the kitchen, under the pots and pans cabinet. Because, where else?? Of course, when I found the brush I then spent 10 more minutes looking for my clip that I took out and laid down ??? Good thing I went to all the trouble of drying my hair because that 15 minute trip to Kroger? Well, you only want to look your best when you're cruising the aisles with two little ones in tow.

In other news we had a completely meltdown free day yesterday. Come to think of it, maybe it was my scary, curly hair that put Drew straight over the edge!

God's Drawl

2011-01-26T06:05:00.000-08:00

Well. It's another snow day here in Davidson County. I just can't tell you how happy I am to live in a city that apparently lacks the infrastructure to handle 3 inches of snow. We needed this one, kids. (Don't you love how I say that every time?)

It has been a maelstrom of sickness and massive meltdowns around here for the last few days. And last night I was almost certain my head might really explode. The weather men and women were so certain there would be "significant accumulation" that I got crazy and did not even go over my lesson plans or pack lunches. Crazy, I say.

Poor Drew. I'm not entirely sure what is going on with him, but whatever it is, it ain't pretty. After much mother mulling, I think it is just a combination of a lot of things, put over the edge by a fever and a belly ache. In case you don't know this about kids with reflux, anytime they get sick, their reflux kicks into high gear. Which, really, just makes for an all around delightful experience. Drew has had these episodes before. But it has been a long time. And frankly, I was a little scared by his behavior. It was a big ol' mess of defiance and screaming and flailing around. All of that happened BEFORE school on Monday. By Monday night, he was like some other child. Some other child who was possessed. After being put in his room he proceeded to scream and cry until a little while later I found him dead asleep on the floor by his door. I don't know if this makes me a bad mom or not, but I will assure you it was much better for him to be up there than downstairs with me. We were not, what you would call, bonding, in those moments.

Yesterday I tried to keep on top of things with the Tylenol and the sweet, understanding mom voice. DO NOT upset the savage, you know what I mean? We did great until about 11 a.m. and then the, well, you know, hit the fan. I'll fess up and tell you that I cried actual tears. I had no idea what to do. The dad was called, the screaming escalated. It was an all around banner day for this mom. Not to mention how the little savage himself was feeling. I gave him some lunch (in his room) and went back up to retrieve his plate and found him snuggled down in his bed, fast asleep. Poor guy.

The rest of the day went much better. I dug deep and prayed to the Lord for patience and kindness. And some more patience. Then I made up some errands to run just so we could get out of the cotton-pickin' house. While we were driving, Drew said something that can only be described as perfection.

Drew: "You know what, Mama?"

Me: "What Drew?"

Drew: "I think yesterday when I was screaming on my bed God said, 'Bless his heart!'"

I could laugh for 7 hours now just remembering it. HILARITY. And also, so sweet. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that in that moment of HORRIBLE behavior, his response was to believe that God felt sad for him, not angry. Man. Couldn't we all use a little more of that in our lives?

Not to mention that God apparently speaks southern to Drew as well. Which is just grand.

A Little Blog Soup

2011-01-25T08:19:00.001-08:00

Every single day, I think, "Hey, I should put that on my blog" and then I realize it amounts to exactly one sentence, probably a run-on, and I don't do it. So, today, I'm doing a good old fashioned brain dump and telling you all sorts of fascinating information about my children and my life. I can feel your excitement from here.

1. My children are complete and total fruit-a-holics. I don't know what the deal is, but they are flat eating me out of house and home, especially in the fruit department. I know I should be glad. At least they are not addicted to cheetos, but it is difficult to keep up with all the eating of the fruit. And, just so you know, I did not freeze and/or can any fresh, local produce over the summer, so we are eating bananas shipped all the way from who-knows-where in the amount of AT LEAST two bunches a week. And don't even get me started on the grapes.

2. Emily has learned to say "Hold me". While I'm glad she is gaining more words, I'm not particularly ecstatic about this one. It ran its' course in about 2 hours when she proceeded to say it approximately 1,000 times.

3. One of my favorite people ever recently moved to Nashville. Ashley and her new hubby live here. She came over to meet the kids and hang out. Drew cried because she wasn't here to play with him. And asks about her at least once everyday. I love when my kids love the people I love.

4. An open letter to winter:

Dear Winter~I.AM.SO.OVER.YOU. I'm done with your cold and your dreariness and your just plain bad attitude. I'm done with your germs and your colds and your fevers. Feel free to be done with your business early.

5. I need to start buying motrin and tylenol in massive bulk quantities.

6. Remember how Emily only had four teeth for months on end? No more. That girl is cutting every single tooth in her head RIGHT NOW. It's a really fun time. She's miserable, her reflux is on high alert and never has her desire for "hold me!" been greater.

7. Both of my kids have just had growth spurts rendering their clothes too small. At the same time. Thanks a lot kids!

8. We went to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Drew had only been once before. He had a pretty fun time. He was super enthralled with Chuck himself and spent quite a bit of time watching the motorized version while he waited for "the real Chuck E. Cheese" to come out. I'm the kind of mom who tries to pretend things like Chuck E. Cheese don't exist, and so far, I think Drew doesn't realize you can go there anytime. And also? I did not even tell him he could use his tickets to get a prize. He had no idea. Just thought the tickets were the prize. And was totally excited about them. Don't judge. That's 30 minutes of agonizing decision making I avoided and one less piece of plastic crap to clean up off my floor. I'm sure he'll tell his therapist all about it some day...

Well. While 8 seems like an awfully random number to end on, I think this mind numbing post should come to an end. It might snow two whole inches tonight, which pretty much guarantees Metro will be closed. Could I be so lucky???

All the Fun

2011-01-12T11:48:00.000-08:00

**Edited to add: Yeah, so I wrote the post a couple of weeks ago. Just in case you wondered how it was that you completely missed out on some snow!

I have to say I'm a little bit conflicted about bragging about another snow day. Only because when I talked to my sister yesterday she'd had about all the snow fun she could take. She told me she was praying school would be in. I told her in honesty and openness that I was praying a prayer in direct opposition to hers. Hmmmm...I guess we would have to see who God loves best. I'M TOTALLY KIDDING!!!!!!! I kept hoping that since she lives in another city we could both have our wishes.

It was a wait of epic proportions. Yesterday, late afternoon, I got an email from my director asking us all to report in about road conditions in our neighborhoods. Wait. What??? Metro had already closed schools. That's our policy. Surely, we aren't going to break policy??? I groaned. All I could figure was that some desperate mom with cabin fever was putting on the pressure. I guess those moms exist. I can't imagine ever calling up a PRESCHOOL and demanding they open their doors. And, of course, it's possible that didn't even happen. I do know there was a lot of angst about WHAT IF WE HAVE TO RESCHEDULE SCHOOL PICTURES?? I'm mocking. Not nice, I know. So, around 8 p.m. last night I got the email informing me that we would be open today and that I needed to contact all of my parents to let them know...and figure out clothes for the kids...and pack lunches...and gather materials...

To say that I was not walking with a Christ-like attitude would be a gigantic understatement. And I knew I wasn't the only disgruntled employee.

This morning I dragged out of bed before dawn and proceeded to do all the things I neglected to do the night before. And then the kids were up, and breakfast was going, and lunches were being packed. And the phone rang. Oh, well, let me back up to say that the road in front of my house was super icy and I completely stalked the neighbor as he was leaving for work to see if he would careen off the road into someone's yard. He didn't. So, the phone rang and it was the director. Guess what?? School is back OFF. Repeat: no school. Which was great except for now I have to call all the parents in my class in the middle of breakfast, toddler meltdown, preschooler neediness. Don't tell anyone, but I texted instead. I know. I live on the edge.

Another snow day. Another day PAID to be home with my babies. Thank you. Thank you very much.

And just because I'm attempting to make this the longest post ever, I'll tell you that yesterday Drew and I had THE MOST FUN sledding. I LOVE to go sledding. It's on my top 10 most fun things to do list. You might remember last year when we had to sled on a cookie sheet. But, my late winter purchase of the green disc paid large dividends yesterday. Drew was totally fearless. Fearless, I tell you, and belly laughed his way down the hill over and over and over. He didn't even whine about having to climb back up the hill. Or having cold hands. Or anything else. Emily and I shared the sled on our turns. Let me just say that I'm pretty sure I've found a roller coaster riding buddy. She LOVED it. And at the risk of sounding like a gigantic sap, I have to say that I was having to hold back some tears. Moments like those, seeing your kids blissful, well, to me there is just about nothing better.

Snow Day!

2011-01-11T12:59:00.001-08:00

Well. Some more of the white stuff showed up at our house! We've had quite the busy winter already with all the weather events. This is my second snow day as a teacher and I must say: I'm in love with the snow day! First, I get PAID on a snow day and unlike a public school teacher, I don't have to make the day up!! Therefore, I am getting PAID to stay home and play with my kids. Do you hear me?? I'm living every stay-at-home mom's dream on a day like this!!

Emily is sick (apparently a weather event brings on the sickness for her...) but that has not stopped us from having a total blast. We got out in the snow yesterday and played our guts out. I mean, for the relatively small amount of time we could be out there before baby sister starts to shiver all over! But, Emily? LOVES THE SNOW. I don't know if you remember Drew's first encounter with snow, but "love" is definitely not the word I would use for it. Such different kids. Both so awesome. I know, I know. It's so annoying when a mom talks about how awesome her kids are. But, I aim to speak truth. And they are awesome.

We dragged out a beach bucket and proceeded to make snow castles that were so much for Emily to smash with her hands. Did I mention she laughed the entire time we were outside? Then we got out the wagon and did some running down the road in the wagon. This was a favorite game in early fall when it stayed light outside for longer and we could play outside after school. It was especially hilarious in the snow. I just work on trying to block out the humiliation that comes from my running down the hill. It is paralleled only by the week after Christmas when I almost missed trash pick up and RAN outside in my robe and rain boots trying to get my trash to the truck. Have you ever been laughed at by the garbage men? It's a good time.

Anyway, after our wagon fun and some time inside to warm up we played out back on the deck where Emily sat in the snow and laughed and Drew and I engaged in an epic snowball fight. We were super heroes you see. He ran around the yard while I stood on the deck and threw snowballs at him. I don't really think he comprehended the distinct disadvantage being in the yard gave him. I don't think he cared, either, because he was cackling like the Joker the whole time! The best moment came when he took a flying leap off the top stair and jumped down to the ground. He stood up and said, "YES!" I kept telling him all night, "Remember when you did that big jump off the deck. That was so awesome!" He was beaming so much I really didn't need the lights on at all.

We pulled out the couch bed and watched movies/TV all day. We made some toasted garbanzo beans and homemade pizzas. We practiced our somersaults on the couch bed. And yes, Mama hauled her buns over her head exactly once and HOLY MOSES the dizzy. After having Emily my equilibrium does not seem to be the same. I get sick trying to read in the car and apparently somersaults are OUT of the question. Good to know.

So yeah. Paid for all the fun. You might not be surprised to find out that I'm really crossing my fingers for another snow day tomorrow!

Our Twist on the Shelf Elf

2011-01-04T18:51:00.001-08:00

I'm sure you have heard of the "Elf on the Shelf". You probably even have one. Just in case you're in the dark about this weird little guy, let me enlighten you. In 2005 a lady wrote a book about a little elf who comes to one's house, sent by Santa to keep an eye on behavior. He hangs out on the shelf waiting to see what kind of choices the child makes, and then, supposedly reports it to Santa. I was not fully aware of the whole idea of the elf when I purchased my own a couple of years ago.

And when I read the book, I was appalled.

Let me stop here and say, I am really, really, really not trying to offend all of those who use and love the Elf on the Shelf in its' intended way. But, I just can't bring myself to do it.

I am not a big fan of a Santa who is merit based. I can't get behind the whole naughty/nice list, because, really? You only get gifts if you've had good behavior? First of all, we know that's not true. I've never known a single person who, on Christmas morning, had nothing from Santa because they were rotten. And we all know some people who would qualify if that were the case. Second, we all-FINE-I have enough issues with hopping on life's treadmill and trying to earn my way to love. I know my kids will struggle with this because, well, they're human. I just can't add to the behavior angst by setting up a creepy little elf, who has no hands and feet, and suggest he's always watching. I know, I know. For some of you it works like a charm and makes for some beautiful behavior. I don't begrudge you that!

So, I decided to change up our approach. We use our elf. He comes every morning of December until Christmas and brings a chocolate kiss and an encouraging note. He recognizes some good choice or an example of kindness Drew had the day before. This is something I have been working on-pointing out the times he makes the right choice. He has LOVED his notes and has grown very attached to Elfie.

Elfie is supposed to go home with Santa on Christmas Eve. When I mentioned this to Drew it invoked a holy meltdown like you have never seen. Here I was, in front of uncles and a grandmother, wrecking my kid's whole Christmas. Thank heavens Big Dan swooped in and saved the day. He told Drew he had heard about a rule where you could write a note to Santa and request an extension of Elf stay. It is a really handy thing to have an attorney for a dad. The document was drafted and...approved! Elfie was granted a stay at our household until January 4. If you're paying attention that's in three hours. At the stroke of midnight, Elfie will use his elfing powers and scamper back to the North Pole until next Christmas season.

And I will no longer have to remember to put out notes and candy every night. Which is a good thing, because as the days have gone on, my memory has been getting lax. Elf's are not encouraging when you find them lying facedown on the sofa right where you left them. Just sayin'...

I Think a Change...Will Do You Good...

2011-01-02T11:19:00.000-08:00

Well, the halls are officially undecked. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth when Drew realized that I was subtly removing decorations a little at a time. Every item being removed was met with a mournful "Oh no! Not the _______!" Mind you, it could have been an item he failed to notice for the entire holiday season, but it was SO SAD to take it down. In fact, the Little People Nativity set is still lying on the couch because I could not deal with the drama. Which, lucky thing we kept it out. He spent last night sending baby Jesus down the slide over and over and over.

The kid does not deal well with change.

I got my hair cut last week. It's been on my to-do list since AUGUST so I finally just made it happen. I got a lot of hair cut off. A lot. When she was finished it looked like a medium sized animal lying on the floor. With severe split ends. I told my stylist (yes, I said stylist. Big shout out of Melissa at Bishop's Salon. She cuts some freakin' good hair) to have at it. They love it when you tell them that, you know. And then I went and got crazy. As she was cutting I said, "Do you think I should have some bangs?" She said, "Ok!" And I said, "Wait a minute, I'm ASKING you." She was all for cutting a bang. (Did you know they are no longer referred to as "bangs" rather "a bang"? Me neither. Duly noted.) I was thrilled. But I laughed, saying, "My son is not going to be excited about this." I knew when he saw me sans ponytail he would flip out. And he did. Because he has such a huge heart he came back later and said, "I decided I like your new hair mom. You look pretty." I'm not sure he really feels that way, but somehow he knew that was the right thing to say. Bless him. And then I went and fixed it wavy today. He looked at me with a look of horror on his face and said, I kid you not, "I need to go to my room and be alone." Bahahahaha!! He emerged a while later, feeling better about the whole matter. On the way home from church he finally came around. "I do like your curly hair after all, Mommy."

Poor kid. Life is full of changes. It's taken me 34 years to learn that I need to be ok with it. Rest easy. Take a breath. Notice I said I've learned I need to. Not that I am doing it well. I hope I can learn it, so I can pass it along. Life is lots more fun when a new haircut doesn't send you into a depression.

Ringin' It In

2011-01-01T10:34:00.001-08:00

Someone posted on facebook yesterday that however you spend New Years day will be an indicator of the rest of your year.

Uh oh.

Let's hope in this one instance, facebook is not the be all, end all of wisdom.

I really like to pretend that my kids are flexible, go with the flow children. You know, seeing how their mom is so super laid back, it really makes you wonder why they are so high strung. Ahem.

Last night we "went out" for New Years to my sister's in-laws' house. And by "went out" I mean we were home by nine. I was fairly impressed that my kids made it as long as they did. I was really banking on them falling asleep in the car on the way home, since it was sort of a drive. No way, Jose! They kept those peepers wide the whole ride home. After I got them both in bed I made the giant mistake of watching the movie "Inception". Which I'm still all twisted up about. Another time... By the time the movie was over, it was 11:45 and I thought to myself, "Well, what the heck. I can stick it out 15 more minutes. And anyway I'm sure the kids will sleep in a little." [cue ominous music] And LUCKILY I got to catch a performance by NKOTBSB. The ridiculousness of this combined has-been group boggles the mind. This was followed up by the slightly uncomfortable moment when poor Dick Clark did the count down. It was one of those moments when the crazy starts to creep in, and you know it's only because you are exhausted, and yet somehow, you still put off going to bed. Besides, the kids would sleep in. Surely.

Happy New Year! 6:30 a.m. Drew is raring to go. I turned on a show for him and rolled back over. A few minutes later he brought me a fruit roll-up. To have for breakfast. And I let him. Because that's how I roll. Back over to sleep that is. Only a few short minutes later, Emily was up. I was pretty sure my head was going to start spinning around.

Skip to right now, nap time an hour early because both kids were a super new year wrecktacular. Emily is cutting 6 teeth at one time, probably still has an ear infection and is just generally PISSED OFF. Drew is like a caged animal and was shocked and dismayed (to put it mildly) when he held some cheese out to the dog-the dog actually ate it. The nerve.

Mommy needs a nap. And a month's vacation in the Rocky Mountains. And a caffeine IV. 2011, you'd better change your attitude right quick!

All She Wrote...

2010-12-31T09:55:00.000-08:00

2010 is on his way out.

It's New Year's Eve.

I won't try to sum up the past year in this post, but instead regale you with more and more stories about my kids! I have a lot going on in the soul these days, and hopefully, there will come a time to share. But for now...

Just yesterday my sister and I were discussing the inevitability of the public poop. I apologize for using the word "poop" here so freely, but after a certain point, it just loses its' power as a gross word. So, just a mere 12 hours later, I was standing in line at the post office (because have you ever been to the post office when there isn't a line??) and Drew *shouts* "Mom, I need to POOP right now." I wish I was the kind of person who always immediately said the right thing the first time around. You know the right thing like, "Ok, sweetie, let's finish up here and then we'll talk about it." Which I got to after I said, "SSSSSSSHHHHHHH!! Drew! You're just going to have to hold it. We live just a few minutes from here. You'll be fine." To which he said, "Mommy!" (through gritted teeth) "You just don't want me to go because you don't want to take me." What? No, I don't want to take you to yet ANOTHER disgusting public restroom where you will, without doubt, touch the toilet with your hands, your rear end and probably bend over to touch the floor. In a public restroom. Gag. me. Finally, I got to the nice way to handle it, diffusing the situation. After the whole lobby of the post office had a good laugh. I'm sure my neck was breaking out. (Have I mentioned the neck thing here? Yeah, anytime I am embarrassed or angry, my neck breaks out. It's awesome.)

We left the post office and headed next door to Staples. Which, was handy because I'm very familiar with their bathroom. We've been before. Every time we go. The moment was had and all I could do was try not to have a seizure over all the disgusting around us.

Did I mention all of this happened while my children were pajama clad??

This follows up a poop round at Target yesterday. We had been shopping for ALL OF 10 minutes when the poop announcement came. Not so shouty as today, but public nonetheless. What makes this situation all the worse is having to hold Emily in the restroom while Drew is doing his business. She wants nothing more than to unroll the toilet paper as fast as possible. So, it's a lot like holding a cat who definitely doesn't want to be held. Good times. As we walked in the restroom at Target, it quickly became apparent that someone else, of the adult persuasion, had felt the urge as well. And Drew says, "Shew!! It smells gross in here!" Neck.breaking.out. I mean really. I think the poor girl really tried to wait us out, but clearly she was not prepared for all the dawdling that goes along with being 4.

I'm sure there are many more public restroom visits to come. I'm thinking of inventing some antibacterial body lotion.

Hangover

2010-12-27T11:41:00.000-08:00

Ooh, ooh. Two new posts. Whatever is the world coming to??

Today I took the kids to Target just to get out of the house. I couldn't listen to the bickering-yes, between a 4 year old and his FOURTEEN month old sister-for another minute. I think the three of us were getting a little stir crazy. So, what else would I do to entertain us besides go to Target??? Plus, Drew had a "shopping card" that was burning a hole in his pocket. To be more exact, it was a burning a hole on the bookshelf, because no way am I letting him tote around a gift card in his pocket.

When we got to Target and started walking around, I almost started laughing out loud. It looked like some kind of war refugee scene. Every single person in there looked like they had been hit by a bus. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Because, really, you should've seen me. And actually, I don't think any one of them would've argued the point with me. They were all too tired to care.

Moms out there know the feeling all too well. You should head over to Suburban Turmoil and read her post. All I can say is, Amen and Amen.

I know some people get a down in the dumps feeling the day after Christmas. Not me. It is one of my most favorite days in the year. This probably speaks to my melancholy outlook in general, but something about it feels so good. The decorations are still up, the treats are still around, it looks like a toy bomb went off in the house. But. But, there's nothing out there, waiting to be done. Nothing nagging the back of my mind. No programs to attend, no outfits to pick out, no menus to plan and no more midnight shopping trips at Wal-Mart. Praise the Lord, hallelujah.

I am always excited for the holiday season to roll around. And somehow, this year, everything got done even though I tried to let go of my inner holiday nazi. Amazing how that works. The kids had a blast and I tried to supply them with a little holiday magic. But as the dust has settled, I can feel my soul taking a big, deep breath.

So, to all you moms out there, "Merry quiet days following Christmas!"

The Caped Crusader

2010-12-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

Right around Halloween, we were invited to our second classmate birthday party. Clearly, this is my first year of classmate birthday parties, because I still think it's fun. I'm sure in a few years I'll be groaning and complaining about ALL the parties. In Drew's class, all the kids have birthdays within weeks of each other, so it's been a little heavy on the birthday fun. Ok. Back to the party we attended. It was a super hero party and Drew was ecstatic to wear his Batman outfit to the park for some fun. And then. AND THEN. Spiderman showed up to the party.

I had no idea this was going to happen, and I will never, never forget the look on Drew's face when he realized what was happening. I wish I could explain it to you. Astonishment, delight. FREAKING OUT. And this guy who was playing Spiderman-he was awesome. I have never met a character more dedicated to his craft! Ha!

And so, that was all she wrote. Out the window went my plans to have a party off-site with someone else doing all the work. Because, when he looked up at me with that face and said, "Mommy, can a superhero come to my party?" well, I was all done in. I don't know if it's just me or if it's all moms, but there is something about watching his biggest wishes come true.

I set to work. The first order of business was to ask the mom of the Spiderman party if she would be beyond annoyed if I totally ripped off her idea. She laughed and said, "No way. Because I totally ripped the idea off from someone else." And so it goes in the land of moms, I guess. Next, I was nervous because it was only a month away? Would Batman be able to make it?? I contacted the company and dealt with THE NICEST MAN EVER and was assured that this same guy did Batman and was available! Katy and I worked on our cupcake vision and she labored over the fondant for me. We made signs and scrambled around. I worked myself into a completely unnecessary lather, as usual. And it was all totally worth it.

Cupcakes:

My little Batman

Spiderman arrives!

The Dark Knight!!!

Batman's tricks

By the way, photo credits ALL go to Katy. I've dubbed her my own personal photographer-among other things-because she takes great pictures (and actually remembers to take them...) For example. Check out this next picture. Do you see Drew's face?? And his little friend looking at him knowing he must be ecstatic...Classic.

Drew and Weston with cupcake mouths

The group shot

The boy and his hero. Be still my heart...

What the?

2010-12-06T18:45:00.001-08:00

Sooooooooo...

It's been a sweet forever since I've posted anything on here. And it would appear that my background has gone away. Freakin' technology.

Life has been...well...life-ish. And that's really all I have to say about that. So, I haven't been blogging but thought I'd pop in and let you know we're all still breathing.

My kids continue to be utterly hilarious and I really need to try to check in and get some stories on here. Emily is a full blown walker now and she thinks she is the sass. We watch "The Goodnight Show" every night in that last (painful) hour before bed and we are treated to the Pillow Pet commercial at least 6 times each night. She goes beserk each time and last week her Daddy brought her home a lady bug Pillow Pet and she WIGGED out. Her personality is so big and so funny. And, yes, I'm a tad biased. she is talking up a storm and pretty much repeats anything you say. You should hear her say "Bye". She's more southern than anyone I know, dragging out that "Bye" into around 27 syllables. "Byyyyyyyeeeeeeeee" And now she'll tell me "Byyyyyyyyyyyye" and walk out of the room and crack up. She also thinks it's a real hoot to do things she's not supposed to and say, "Nooo nooo". Hilarious until she's turned off the TV for the 10th time and Drew is apoplectic.

Speaking of Drew. That kid kills on a regular basis. Saturday we had his birthday party and THE REAL BATMAN came. Pictures are coming soon. They are awesome.

Her Highness

2010-11-06T20:13:00.000-07:00

My oh my.

Emily's back in a funk. And I don't mean she's glued to the couch in some sweat pants eating out of the ice cream carton. Emily in a funk equals "I'm not happy and everyone should know it!" No idea what's up, although I suspect teeth. Because what else when there's no obvious answer?? I would actually be THRILLED if she would grow her two front teeth because she currently has the two outer ones on top, but not the middles. While the vampire look was super for Halloween, it pretty much creeps me out.

She has lots of words and has no problem speaking her mind. Well, I say lots of words. Lots compared to Drew who at this age had approximately zero. The new ones are : down, up (sort of), thank you, shoes, bear, baby, and Drew. Most of the time she says Drew in regards to his juice. "Dew's oosh" is my best phonetic approximation. What it really means is, "I'm about to swipe Drew's juice."

She wants to be held ALL.THE.TIME. Today I bought a crazy fancy baby carrier that allows me to carry her on my hip or on my back. It cost a ridiculous amount of money. But I needed something today. And let me just say that I folded laundry and did the dishes with her on my hip. She was happy and work was getting done. Pretty much worth the insane price right there.

I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that she has mastered the art of the temper tantrum. Isn't she still a baby? Surely a baby would not throw a fit. And yet, the fits are being thrown. Every time it happens it seems weird to me. I don't know why I'm having a hard time grasping the fact that she knows what she wants. But I am. And what she wants right now is golden Oreos. You may not know this about Big Dan, but he goes though what I like to call "food phases". He will eat the same thing for many, many days in a row. And then, he won't eat it again for a long time. Or ever again. Anyway, he's currently in a golden Oreo phase and Emily has been slipped a cookie or two and now she knows the goodness. She threw a full blown screaming, thrashing her arms around fit because she couldn't have a THIRD cookie. Yes, my 13 month old had two golden Oreos. Not even discussing the nutritional issues here, let's discuss the fact that stuff like this hurts her belly. Usually in the dead middle of the night. So. NO THIRD COOKIE. Drama ensues.

I have resorted to trickery and lying. I refer to her milk as "juice" and today I handed her an organic fruit bar and called it a "cookie".

It's a good thing she's cute. What, with her Lyle Lovett hair and her daddy dimple. And her belly laughs. And her surprise face. Oh what the heck...what's one more cookie???

Fall Fun 2010

2010-11-05T19:10:00.000-07:00

Now that all of my school hubbub is over, it's time to get back to business. The business of gratuitous pictures of my bebes!!

You might not know this about me, but I'm sort of a maniac about making memories. Because of this, I have been known to over plan a few weekends here and there. Just a few. Ahem. So, back a few weeks ago, you remember that we had two birthday parties in one weekend. My sister from Knoxville was coming to town along with all the grandparents. So...I had the bright idea to take a visit to a pumpkin patch. All together. The weekend of two birthday parties. I don't know where these ideas come from. I suppose from the part of me that says, "Just cram in one more thing. It'll TOTALLY be worth it." Thankfully, on this particular weekend, the sisters saw some reason . Maybe all of us traipsing to the pumpkin patch wasn't a great idea. Probably right.

BUT.

I left Emily in the capable hands of Big Dan, twisted Grammy's arm a tad and took my first born to the pumpkin patch. He had the undivided attention of two adults who think he hung the moon, and a few hours to call the shots. He needed it. I needed it. It was the most fun I've had all fall!

Gentry's Farm-my all time favorite Fall destination

Playing in the corn bin. With his best corny grin. (Sorry. Couldn't resist...)

Drew and his Grammy

I've been trying to come up with a way to rig one of these in the backyard. It just screams "wholesome".

This is Drew at the entrance to the corn maze. The kiddie version, that is. I think this was his favorite part of the morning-telling Grammy and I which way to go!

I LOVE spending one on one time with my kids. There are surely days when I feel like myself and my love just can't stretch far enough. I might be a slightly crazy memory making maniac, but I'm ok with that. Every single day matters. You can't do it over and you might not get another. I plan to blow it out every chance I get!

Not the Chosen One

2010-11-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah and Amen. I did not get picked. REPEAT. I did not get picked.

Our ECERS evaluation was yesterday and we all survived. I had pumped myself up. Told myself I could totally handle it. BRING.IT ON. And then, when I found out I wasn't chosen, I wanted to weep like a child! All day long I caught myself thinking, "Don't forget you need 45 minutes of free play during this block." OH WAIT! No I don't! I can even have snack early. *GASP*.

The two ladies chosen were both veterans and one has been evaluated two times before. Her own personal life is super hard right now and she pretty much could have cared less what they said! We were at recess with them (and the evaluator) and I was a nervous wreck just for that. And naturally two of my boys had a head-on collision resulting in one howling like his leg was on fire. It was fairly humorous to see the cavalry of support staff who came running for the one injured child!

But now it's over. Let freedom ring. I told the director not to be surprised when I was doing all sorts of crazy, zany, non-ECERS approved activities with my kids. She said, "Go for it!" It's one of the reasons I love her. So, bring on the cardboard tube binoculars and the sound effects CD, because we're going exploring in the forest tomorrow.

In the meantime, I'm plum tuckered out. In the midst of all the manic preparation, my daughter got roseola and went on a milk strike. From her sippy cup. And insisted on shouting, "Ba-ba, ba-ba, ba-ba" all the live long day. I thought I would be excited about having an early talker. Considering her two most used words are "nak" (snack) and "oosh" (juice) and she screams like a witch whenever she can't have either, I think I might prefer Drew's made-up sign language.

Annnnnd, my washing machine broke again. I will not be repairing it for the third time, and the new one arrives tomorrow evening between 4 and 6. And then I'll be doing laundry non-stop until Christmas because Drew's pull-up leaked twice this week all over his bedsheets. Naturally. Emergency load being done at Katy's tonight. Undergarments are in short supply. Just trying to be transparent. We're headed there because Drew left Ribbit there yesterday afternoon. Tough lesson in personal responsibility.

The good times just keep.on.rollin'! Dare I even wish for an uneventful week? What if I beg??

When My Hippie Tendencies Leak Out

2010-10-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

I am, by nature, a gigantic rule follower. At times, (Big Dan would argue most times) I have a slight problem thinking outside the box. I do not like to get in trouble or anything that has the smell of trouble around it. I am not, nor have I ever been, what you would call "rebellious".

However.

There have been a few times in my life when that little genetic streak of anti-establishment, down with man spirit comes leaking out. And it usually has to do with rules that I deem ridiculous. Or standards that are overly stringent or otherwise preposterous.

One of the times the little rebel was awakened inside was at a camp where I'm pretty sure my director was on some sort of weird power trip. Or drugs. Or both. Anyway, my usual rule following self was pushed aside by Little Miss Activist. If I could've gotten away with carrying a picket sign that said, "Down with the Man", I totally would have.

This has come up at other weird times. Like with an over-bearing resident assistant. Or a nutty lawyer who most definitely wasn't putting the needs of the kids I was advocating for ahead of her own.

And now. I'm thisclose to storming the gates of "the state" and grabbing a hold of the throat of whoever decided this environmental rating scale was worth two hoots in determining a good preschool, and not letting go until they scream "Uncle!". Because seriously??? IT.IS.RIDICULOUS. I'm saying to you right now: if your child is in preschool in Tennessee, in a three-star program, run, don't walk, to hug your child's teacher. Hug him/her tight. Because it means he/she's been put through the dadgum wringer on all manner of arbitrary issues.

Let me say this. I get the SPIRIT of the thing, I do. I recognize that there are children across the state who need to be protected by standards. BUT. When a preschool teacher of 21 years is in a giant tizzy over this evaluation (a lady I work with) then something is terribly wrong.

I mean, if you know me, you know I'm all about multicultural. I've been privileged to travel all over the world and have friends from all over the world. But right now, I feel like the affirmative action of preschool teachers-White kid in a poster? Not putting that one up. Bring me your obviously ethnic, your special needs, these are the ones I MUST post en masse.

And don't even get me started about the "free art" vs. "teacher directed art". Best I can tell, I'm just supposed to let my kids run amok all day. This "freedom" will clearly help them learn and grow. Don't dare have a theme. Why, it's a profanity. You shouldn't teach about any certain subject. Heaven forbid you quench the creative genius of your three year olds.

And do not, under any circumstances, forget to pass out napkins at snack time.

So. For the next week I scramble around like a mad woman trying to make my room look free and open-minded. And reminding parents what they are mandated to pack in their child's lunch. By "the state". I try not to a) have a nervous breakdown or b) get the school shut down, or c) call in sick-for the rest of the year.

Next Wednesday is the big day. I have a 2 in 5 chance of having my name pulled out of the literal hat to be evaluated ALL DAY. I can promise you if I am chosen there will be no way I'll be able to not smirk at the evaluator. It's what happens when my hateful self shows up. I'll let you know how it goes...

School Marm

2010-10-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

Hmm. Well, needless to say, I'm not finding a whole ton of time to blog these days. What, with my new career and all. Can I just tell you that I have gone seriously soft in the last 5 years? Working three days a week-well, I might as well be working 80 hours. I'm so far under the pile I'm thinking of calling up Chile to see if I could borrow that tube extractor just to come up for air.

Dramatic much?

People ask me all the time if I like working. Look, in a vacuum, the answer would be an unequivocal YES. I really like teaching and I really like teaching 3 year olds. I like the fact that they are such amazing learners. Can I brag on them for a minute? Because 6 out of 8 of my kids can name all of the fruits of the Spirit. Sure can. I make them do it all the time because it's so stinkin' cute. I like the fact that they think everything I do is genius and the most fun ever. I have amazing kids and they have amazing parents.

That said, I'm not really loving the trying to exist in two different ways part of it all. I know it's the working mom's cliche, but I feel like I'm not doing great at anything. The good news is, I have grown-up in this area quite a bit since my last job. My blood pressure doesn't get up about issues at school. I don't lose sleep or have nightmares about meetings with parents, even when it involves telling them that their child had a gigantic meltdown in the bathroom and refused to pull up his pants. You know, in case something like that ever came up. I'm not all twisted in a knot about my performance as a teacher. It's nice. I feel like I battle all the same things I always have in life, so it's nice to have a little God-given growth. My mom-self could learn a lot from my teacher-self. My mom-self still has trouble forgiving herself when she loses her cool. Again. My mom-self has nightmares about losing her kids or ruining them or missing out on _____________. My mom-self loses sleep over her choices and how they are effecting her family. Mom-self needs a swift kick in the rear from teacher-self.

So. I'm working on it. Letting myself off the hook as a mom is the hardest thing I've ever tried. Because, let's be real. The stakes are high. But, one of our teaching pastors said several weeks ago-"God's going to do what God's going to do." This seems like a no-brainer, but what this means is that I cannot single-handedly derail God's plan for the lives of my children. He is going to do what He is going to do.

Today I'm juggling preparing for this big beast of an evaluation we have coming up at school in a couple of weeks with snuggling and loving on two sick kids. I can PROMISE you I'd much rather sit on the couch all day and snuggle. However, the Little Monkeys need a nature sculpture, stat. Emily's asleep and Drew and I are headed out for a backyard adventure, collecting nature items. And then I'll fold the laundry.

Ain't No Party Like a Birthday Party

2010-10-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was nothing less than an explosion of birthday party madness. Don't worry-it wasn't all for Emily. Lyla had her party last weekend, too.

Saturday, Lyla hosted a big crowd of costume-clad youngsters at one of our favorite haunts-Dragon Park. Aunt Katy COMPLETELY outdid herself with the party. We're talking varieties of cake pops (and if you don't know what these are, you are missing out on one of the world's most perfect desserts...), spider web cupcakes, brain cupcakes, pink and black halloween themed cookies, eyeball gum, mummy parts candy, fancy white chocolate coated pretzels. I mean, Martha Stewart was jealous. Really jealous. The kids had a great time. It was a little toasty, especially when you consider that Drew was decked out in head-to-toe Batman attire, complete with built in muscles. But, he was dedicated. He dripped sweat, but he would not take off one stitch of his costume. And, as always I managed to take around 6 pictures. Maybe.

Here, the cousins have a little pre-party appetizer. I wish you could have witnessed first hand them chowing on these cake pops. Classic.

And here is Emily in her costume. I DIE.

I really have to talk myself out of putting her in this outfit everyday.

Emily enjoyed the party. She spent most of her time hanging out at the beverage station. Along with all the other babies. Apparently ice is the in thing if you're one.

On Sunday we had a little birthday brunch for Emily. Since some of my family lives out of town, we decided not to make them come to Nashvegas twice in one month, so we crammed it all in one weekend. Emily had a great time at her party. Girl really knows how to work the room. I'm pretty sure every single person at the party held her at some point. I barely saw her at all.

The highlight of the party was Emily and her cake. She loves some cake. I, because I'm brilliant, made her smash cake with black icing. I'm slightly obsessive about a theme and once I got in my mind that I wanted Minnie Mouse ears for her cake, I could not talk myself out of it. So, I took her shirt off, put a bib on her and let her go for it. Again, classic.

We've spent the week in party recovery mode. Ok. Maybe it's just me. I just can't party like I once could. Can't believe Emmy's a year old and really can't believe Lyla is four. It can only mean one thing. My baby boy is about to be four also. I've got to find a way to stop time. Pronto.

Happy, Happy, Birthday

2010-10-05T18:12:00.000-07:00

Even though we are having a real live birthday party for Emily this weekend, I just could not let the day pass without celebrating a little. I'm just going to go ahead and put it out there that it was totally for my benefit. She was completely confused about what was happening and besides really liking some cake, could have cared less. However, some day, she will see pictures of herself on her real 1st birthday and think, "Oh, I have the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful mom ever." Or something like that...

I whipped up some dairy free cake and we lit a candle and we sang to her. She had a smile on her face, but it was sort of that smile people get when they are shocked, and know they should be happy, but are a little afraid. Manic smile, sort of! I put our family birthday hat on her. Not impressed. Drew blew out her candle-he almost knocked me over going for it when I told him he could. I got her two little presents. And, because I have no shame, I'll admit to you that they both came from the dollar bin at Target! I got her a Sesame Street book because she is obsessed with another one we have. She loved it. And I got her an Elmo figurine. Because, again, she 's obsessed. I probably should've planned to have an Elmo party for her. But she didn't love Elmo approximately 6 months ago when I started planning her party!! I love parties. A lot.

Oh, she was initiated into the Hamilton girl batter licking club. I have no doubt that my mom and my sisters and I really have no need to ever bake anything. We are totally fine with any and all batter. And you can be sure that if you are making any sort of baked goods at a family event, somebody's fingers are going to be in your bowl! She did me proud. Loved.every.minute. Here she is licking her spoon:

I don't know if it's purely psychological or what, but I feel like she is all of a sudden so big. She just seems different to me. Like a bunch of light bulbs came on all at once. It is beyond fun. I'm going to list some more words she has been saying. Not because I'm a big egomaniac about it, but because I want to be able to look back and remember. Somewhere I have a notebook chronicling all of Drew's words. Key word being "somewhere"...

[And let me just pause to say that a few lines up I typed "want" as "wan't". Sweet mercy. I'm going to need to proofread this like 87 times. Which I probably won't, so let me just give a blanket apology-sorry.]

Today she said "ball" (and this one she said unprompted when I handed her a ball); "night-night", she is trying to say, "Drew Drew"; "please" and "puppy"-which sounds suspiciously like "cookies" but she says it every time she sees a dog. I think Van taught her that one. It's his favorite word!

Big party fun coming up this weekend! All the family converges on Nashville to celebrate the only two girl grandchildren. I hope I will take more than six pictures. And I also hope it won't take me 6 months to post them. I aim high. Just sayin'.

1 YEAR!!!

2010-10-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

Emmy!! Today is your birthday! This time one year ago, we were welcoming you into our lives. I have such good memories of our first minutes together. My pesky blood pressure would not come down, but you were perfect, so we got to lay on the bed together in the dark and quiet. I will never, ever forget the time we got to spend together, just the two of us.

Emily, at one year:

*You are back to your happy, cheerful self. We finally discovered FOUR teeth are getting ready to pop through on the top. This would explain why you were not feeling your best for a while. I am so happy to see you back to being hilarious.

*Your "daddy dimple" is even more pronounced. You have one dimple, just like Big Dan, and I cannot get enough of it. I've seen it a lot lately, because you have been smiling and laughing all the time!

*You are walking between things more and more. If you think anyone is paying attention you will immediately drop to the ground and crawl! When Daddy and I try to put you between us to walk, you just won't do it anymore! I think you are a little shy!!

*Aunt Katy taught you to hold your own bottle! You still prefer for me to hold it when I am feeding you, but a few times we have been out at bottle time and you laid in your stroller and drank your bottle. This is a fantastic development. Although, we are probably not far from bidding a fond farewell to the old bottles...

*You can drink from your straw sippy cups like a champ. You would drink juice all day long if I would let you. We have to keep our eyes on you because you will swipe any and all drinks in your path.

*Just in the last few days you have started really trying to say some new words. Friday night on the way home from Aunt Katy's we stopped at the toy store. From the toy store to our house you said, "Bye-bye" the whole way home! You can also say, "cookie" as in Cookie Monster. I'm sure it won't be long until you are asking for an actual cookie!! You also say ba-ba (for bottle), mama, and dada. And "juice" - you have that one down pat! You are trying to say just about anything I prompt you to say.

*You have fully transitioned to a regular, big girl paci!! Somehow you just decided you were fine with it. You switch back and forth between any and all pacis. I'm planning to stealthily remove all remaining soothies.

*You LOVE to look at books. A lot. You haven't quite figured out how to crawl while holding a book and it is ticking you off! I keep trying to tell you that walking would solve this problem. =) You love to sit in my lap and look at books-particularly ones with Elmo in them. You can, at times, get a little aggressive in your page turning. Clearly, I don't read quickly enough for you!

Emily, you literally learn something new every single day. I am amazed at the things you know how to do. When I think back to your early days, I never would have guessed how joyful you would be! I am praying for you, sweet one, that you will always know how much your Daddy and I love you. I am praying you always know how God feels about you-He delights in you, thinks you are beautiful, and loves you more than you can imagine.

Happy Birthday, love!!!

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

2010-09-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

I have visions of ER trips dancing in my head.

And, I'll have you know, that approximately 12 hours after I posted the 11 month update bemoaning the paci scenario, she up and adopted one of the impostors!!!!!!! (Which I realize I spelled wrong on the last post. Guh. Let me take this moment for a friendly public service announcement regarding my blog: I am aware that a) I have very bad grammar including the constant misuse of the comma b) I use the word "that" too much. I just can't stop myself... c) I use too many exclamation points. What can I say? It's all VERY exciting!! and d) despite my complete pet peeve for poor spelling, I, from time to time, misspell words. Thank you.)

So, I've decided to post about anything that needs changing, declare it will never change and maybe casually mention it to Emily. Then she will be sure to change it. It's what they call "reverse psychology", kids. I'm a parenting genius.

Overheard

2010-09-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

I'm so hoping I will have lots of these posts as the year goes on. Today I got TWO hilarious comments.

First, in music class, a little girl grabbed a little boy's arm and he said, "Ouch! It's time for your mommy to cut your fingernails!"

~snicker~

Then, on the playground some of the boys were chasing some of the girls. One kid in particular kept talking about killing. So, the teachers were trying to explain that "killing" isn't really a nice game to play. One of the little girls looked at me and said, "But we can play killing quietly, right??"

Sure kid. Because the loud part is really what's concerning...

11 months!!

2010-09-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

I figured since it is almost time for Emily's FIRST BIRTHDAY, I'd better go ahead and sneak in the 11 month update!

Emily, at 11 months you are one busy girl!!

*You are a crawling machine. You crawl fast and with a purpose these days and usually that purpose involves some sort of trouble! Case in point:

Your scariest trick is climbing the stairs of death in complete stealth mode. There have been MANY times that I had no idea you were even on the steps until you were already at the top!! I'm thinking of installing some barbed wire. Or, you know, a baby gate!

*You took your first steps a few weeks ago. You are getting more bold about cruising around and your balance is getting a little better. You still have Bambi legs just a little bit (the deer not a redneck woman) and you are still nervous to really take off, but I'm betting it won't be long!

*You are starting to share your opinions and they are quite strong. Sometimes you cause Drew and I to want to jump out of the car with all of your screaming. Drew often says to you, "Emily. Please. Can you just BE QUIET????"

*Speaking of Drew, he still takes really good care of you and is very good to you, but you are sort of making it hard on him. Talk about a space invader!! Anything he has, you want. And you'll screech about it until you get your way. I'll give you a little tip-this is not winning you any friends!! You also LOVE to pull his hair. A lot. Also, not so much with the winning friends! Still, though, you guys are tight. He loves you little girl, and to be sure you think he is pretty swell, too.

*Your tummy continues to be tender. Milk or any milk products are still a complete no-go. Also, a lot of times when you have any new food it will upset your stomach. You would really prefer that I ignore all of this and let you have whatever you want. Anything we are eating, you want to try. Sometimes I will let you, and you are a great eater!! I wish I could let you try some of everything. The good news is, you have not had a puking episode since JUNE!! I know we are on the way to stomach freedom!

*You continue to sport only two teeth. No other teeth seem to be in any hurry to arrive. Your brother was the same way! You are very proficient with your gums however!

*Try as I might, I cannot get you to give up your newborn soothie pacis. I've tried around 6 different varieties and this last time it was in an effort to stop all the losing of the pacis. Because those soothies??? They might as well be super balls. Once they hit the ground not only do they bounce, but they roll. This has become more troubling since you became mobile. None of this bothers you though. When I try to sneak another paci in your mouth, you swat it away in disgust. It's like you're saying, "Away from me you paci imposter!"

*Your favorite activity is playing on the couch. Anytime you are grumpy or just don't feel like doing anything, I can plop you up on the couch and you'll be laughing in mere seconds. I'm really looking forward to the day you are able to get off the couch on your own. As Daddy pointed out you can, technically, get off the couch on your own now. I would just prefer it didn't involve skull cracking.

*You love to look at books and you are very into pointing at things in the books. Specifically, we have an Elmo book and you love to point to Elmo on each page.

*You have around 2 words. First, "Buzz". You call any and all action figures "Buzz". You also know exactly what to do with them-fly them around! It's pretty hilarious to watch you. You also say, "Poop" regularly. Any time I mention changing you, you say "poop" and pull on your shirt to indicate being changed. Although having "poop" as one of your first words is not exactly warm and fuzzy, I am happy you are starting to try to communicate with something other than shrieking!

*You are doing so great staying with Aunt Katy. You love her, maybe more than you love me, and you are taking great naps at her house. This makes us both very happy!

*You should be all the way into 12 month clothes, but I am too cheap to buy you any more summer clothes. Ha! I keep thinking cooler weather is right around the corner and so you get to keep wearing your 9 month summer clothes. Luckily, mini skirts and daisy dukes are not offensive on a baby!

Emily, I am having the most fun with you. Even though you are starting to demand a little more, you are also showing more of your hilarious personality. You LOVE to laugh and you give the best hugs. I love the times in the evening when we can snuggle. I can't believe you are almost a year old! It's been a nutty year, but you have been THE BEST. We love you, Em!!! To infinity and beyond!

Compulsion

2010-09-15T19:01:00.001-07:00

Woo-wee. It's been over a week since I've been here. And today, for some reason, I had the strongest compulsion to come on here and say, "I'm not dead!!" Because I know you have all been wondering.

I continue to get my tail-end kicked by all this working and having small children and a home thing. I think it's kind of like working out. When you haven't done it in a while those first few "day after" moments are fairly horrible. This week is just simply nut bar. And nut bar is a phrase from somewhere in my past that I can't quite place...(Perhaps a Greg Pinkner?? Just not sure...)

But, coming soon-Emily's 11 month update. It'll be quite lengthy, so you might want to plan to get a sitter so you can really hunker down and read it. I just want to give you the heads up on things like this. I'll also update you on my class, which will be worth reading about, too.

In the meantime, the RAGWEED, my word! (When I first typed that I typed "rageweed". SO TRUE) It.is.killing.me. And Drew. Last night I heard on the news that ragweed is at a record high. Which is super awesome considering allergies make my son something akin to a mix between the tasmanian devil and Chucky. And, in even better news, it won't die down until the FIRST FROST. I'm sure that's right around the corner since it continues to be 90 degrees every afternoon. I'm barely getting by since I can only take 1/2 a Zyrtec-otherwise I might as well be on Valium. Which, really, is a nice thought, but doesn't do much for all the functioning I have to do in a day.

It's 9 p.m. I'm on the verge of falling asleep as I type. And I had two cups of coffee at 6:00 p.m. I am a sight to behold.

My Mac-gical Weekend

2010-09-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

I hope ya'll have enjoyed your Labor Day holiday! Labor Day weekend is one of my faves, you know. It's not really my affinity for the labor movement, but rather what the day communicates-Fall is coming!! And this past weekend did not disappoint.

Kristin, the kids, and Grammy came down for a visit. It had been way too long since we had seen each other and we were all starting to get the twitches. This is what happens when we get family withdrawals. I didn't even know how much I was missing them until they were here and I was experiencing some serious euphoria!! The weather was picture perfect and we got outside with the kids. We introduced Aunt Kristin to Edwin Warner's nature playground. The kids had a blast getting covered from head to toe in mud. I warned her they'd get dirty. Thank goodness! There was one family there who had clearly not been before. The little girl had a matchy outfit on more suited for shopping at the mall. Rookie mistake. Been there. Remember when I took Lyla and she was wearing a white dress and bloomers??

Saturday night it was time for some ROCKY TOP, baby!! We ordered up the game (which we should have skipped. We ended up turning it down and finding the Bob Kessling broadcast from Knoxville...almost as good as John Ward...almost...) You have never seen grown women more excited about a football game kick-off. We insisted the kids sit and watch as the Vols ran through the Power T. They were annoyed, but the burden of Vol spirit transference rests on our shoulders! Yes, it's a slight sickness. You're just jealous!

Did I mention the weather?? I could feel that little twinge of Fall in the air and it was making me giddy. Combined with my Paula Deen Mystery Pecan Pie candle it was like the weekend could not get any better. And then it did.

I am typing to you RIGHT NOW on a brand new-to-me Macbook brought to you by the mac-gical genius of Uncle Jon. I am forever in debted to the Kelleys. An indentured servant if you will, because they have saved my cheese repeatedly over the last month. Uncle Jon coming through with the computer, well, I teared up and swore to hug him the next time I saw him. Which means he'll probably steer clear until the emotion wears off...But, seriously? Beyond the call of family and I could NOT be appreciating them more. I told Katy if I had a million dollars, I would totally give it to them. Kind of an empty promise since I don't actually HAVE a million dollars, but a heartfelt sentiment nonetheless.

School starts Wednesday. I'm excited. The only thing I'm nervous about is remembering the schedule. Oh, and my lesson plans. Thinking about more than one thing at a time is going to be really taxing. I need a nap just thinking about it...

Catch Me If You Can!

2010-09-01T14:55:00.001-07:00

Ya'll. I feel like a racehorse who's had a bit too much running and being slapped on the sides and starts sweating and foaming from the mouth. I am tired.

Today was "Meet the Teacher" day today and by some miraculous happening I was ready. And by miraculous happening I mean Katy staying with me at school until MIDNIGHT last night. She had a date with some clear tape and kept me from wandering around my room in a daze. And believe me, it was a big job. I could NOT be doing my life without Aunt Katy right now.

Right now, my overwhelming emotion is relief. Relief that my kids are done with the hard childcare situation. Relief that Emily no longer has to nap in the scary Jesus room. We have started her therapy fund for when she fears all religious symbols someday. Relief that the meetings and paperwork are almost finished and I can get on with teaching my kids.

Don't get me wrong, I still have a TON of stuff to do, but I won't be doing any of it tonight or tomorrow! I don't have to be back at school until Tuesday. Praise ye the Lord. And then our "normal" schedule will start, although September is packed full of extra meetings and Open House potlucks.

Meeting my kids was a complete delight. Some of them are teeny, tiny! I forget that Drew is a big giant. I have five boys and three girls and of the ones I've met, I think they are going to be great together as a group. I know they will grow and change SO MUCH over the year.

I'm not even sure this post is coherent. If not, just nod and smile and whisper a "Bless Her Heart" and be sure that I know I'm nuts. And you know what they say. Knowing is half the battle...

Take 2

2010-08-25T17:46:00.000-07:00

Well. I don't know if all 8 of ya'll stormed the gates of heaven on my behalf all at the same time or what, but I'll have you know, today was 1 bazillion times better than Monday. Hallelujah and amen.

Somehow the exact amount of time this morning seemed longer. With fifteen minutes to spare I was looking around trying to figure out what 5 steps I had forgotten. But everything was done. No one spilled milk. No one got kicked in the head. I even had time to stop for coffee, which no doubt added to the utter goodness of the day. Emily took better naps, and I was able to actually laugh at all the scary Jesus pictures instead of cry. I used the paper cutter, the laminator, and attended a meeting with the facilities director. And then I pinched myself to make sure I hadn't time warped to six years ago.

Speaking of six years ago, I have to confess that I got stuck working on a computer document and I called my friend Mindy, who was my right hand woman at the church, for help. I told her I was aware that she no longer worked for me technically, but surely she knew when she signed up with me, it was for life. And wouldn't you know she solved the problem over a text message. Man. I wish I could afford her services right about now!!! I could also use the sound advice and comic relief that came from two of my other favorite people at my old job, (and now I'm starting to sound like this one pastor we worked with who started every sentence out of his mouth, "Back at my old job..."), the communications guru and his trusty pal graphic designer guy. Look, I realize a monthly newsletter at a preschool should not have me all tied in knots, but I just can't be happy slapping down a bunch of clip-art and calling it a day. Issues. Too bad, though, because clip-art is all I've got.

Have I mentioned I'm going with a monkey theme in my room? I'm a very theme-ish gal. I must say I'm pleased with my choice. All in all, I'm much more up-beat today. Yeah, hang on because my moods swing like the wind! It also didn't hurt that the admin assistant showed up in my room with some chocolate this afternoon. Good to know she possesses mind reading skills. All good admins do!

In The Books

2010-08-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

Well. Day 1 is done. My first day back to work in five years and the first time for my kids to be in someone else's care while I worked. It was...kind of nightmarish!!

I really did not expect to be posting bad news about our first day! I really, deep down, suspected that everything would probably be just fine. Oh, ok, it was fine. I mean, everyone survived and there were no true emergencies, but smooth it was not.

I worked long into the night on Sunday getting everything ready to go for Monday morning. I was feeling pretty proud of all of my hard work come daylight on Monday morning, despite the fact that Drew was up before 6:00. And then Drew spilled chocolate milk all over his shirt. You know, the one I laid out the night before? He also knocked Emily down and kicked her in the head (accidentally) with his shoes on. Somehow my minutes were evaporating like I had never experienced. But, we managed to make it in the car on time. I could feel my road rage creeping up as we attempted to get out of Bellevue. (I might not have mentioned this before, but Bellevue, for various reasons I won't go into here, is a complete driving quagmire.) It was about 5 minutes from leaving my house that I realized I had left my work keys at home. Good times.

We managed to be on time, and I finally got the kids' room situated with some toys. This was my responsibility. Not sure why...And then I decided to put Emily down for a nap. So, I fed her some bottle, and laid her down in a strange crib in a strange room. The walls were hung with lots of scary Jesus pictures. It would have been pretty hilarious if, say, I had been watching it on T.V. However, leaving my real, live daughter in there...notsomuch. I took the monitor with me and went back to my meeting. I could feel my emotions lurking right there on the edge. I tried to summon my old working self, who, after working with almost all men, learned to stuff it. When Emily would not go to sleep, I went back in to rock her. I could not deal. My old working self did not have a mommy's heart. She finally settled and I walked back into the room and made my staff meeting debut by blubbering like a complete idiot. It was awesome.

The rest of the day went a little better, but Emily, who is normally everyone's BFF was terrified of everyone. Thank GOODNESS for my sweet Drew. He was so brave and the babysitter said Emily stayed right by his side the whole time. Lump.in.my.throat. It's a good thing the Lord made so clear "this was the way, walk in it" because otherwise I would've grabbed my kids and run out of there like the place was on fire.

It was an emotional day for me. When we got home I felt like I had been hit by a bus! Luckily, I've had some sleep since then, and I'm feeling much more upbeat today. It seems that Emily got into some sort of dairy product, most likely a snack left on the floor and she feels terrible. Today has been better, though, so maybe when we all head back tomorrow, it won't seem so awful. I am thinking about taking some colorful cloth to cover over Scary Jesus, though. No offense, of course.

Five O'Clock Whistle

2010-08-21T19:22:00.001-07:00

Just as I was getting ready to write this post, I realized this will be the second post in a short time about the late afternoon. I guess it goes to show what happens to me around this time everyday.

One day, Drew and I were in the kitchen and I said, "Uh-oh, it's 5 o'clock..." Drew said, "Mommy, what's at 5 o'clock?" I told him that usually everyone starts going bananas at that time. So, he, of course, started squealing and jumping around acting bananas. A couple of days later it was five o'clock and I was just SUPER annoyed with everything. I was considering giving myself a time-out when it hit me. I needed some fun music. And that's how the 5 o'clock dance party was born.

I'll tell ya, it was a little tough to get Drew to come around to my idea. He's not exactly known for "letting loose". It took finding just the right music. I found it. Turns out the kid is a big fan of Creedence Clearwater Revival. Yep, give him a little "Bad Moon Rising" or "Traveling Band" and he is raring to go. Poppy would be so proud. Most of his dance moves look suspiciously like Superhero punches, but he's very impressed with himself. He tells me regularly that he's a better dancer than me. Wow. Don't kill the dream son, ok?

Emily loves the dance party. She's pretty much got one move that involves waving her arm back and forth, but she is faithful to do her part anytime music comes on.

It's just the mental break I need and just the energy buster Drew needs. While he's a classic rock guy for now, I'm working hard to bring him around to embracing Will Smith with me. Gettin' Jiggy Wid It...

Shock and Awe

2010-08-20T13:31:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I took Drew to the dentist for the very first time. I know, I know. I'm around 8 months late for this visit. I have no good excuses. Oh, I have excuses, just none of them are good! Mostly I was terrified that he would go completely ballistic, and frankly, I was skeered. But, it was on my "get to it before school starts" list, so we did it.

I lucked into a fantastic pediatric dental office. And, by the way, where was the pediatric dental office when I was a kid??? I digress. They have a great website and I got all the info I needed before we even went. One thing I read on the website is that they really prefer for the kids to go back on their own, without a parent. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttt. Sure, I thought. We'll give that a whirl, and I promise you'll be begging me to come back with you. I didn't mention this little fact to Drew. I am learning more and more everyday about what things to prepare him for and what things to spring on him last minute. It's a delicate balance.

We got to the office, checked in, and Drew explored the waiting room. After we were there a few minutes I casually mentioned that the dentist likes for kids to go back without their mommies. "You won't go with me?" he said. "No, I don't think so." And he said, "Ok, mommy." Uh-huh. Right. I was sure the bravado would fade as soon as they called his name.

The hygenist came out, called his name, he gave me a hug and kiss, walked towards the door, turned around for another hug and kiss (yep, here we go, I thought...) and then...and THEN...he just walked right back there. I sat in my chair paralyzed with shock. And awe. And then, I almost started sobbing at the grown-up-edness of it all. Are you kidding me???? A little bit later they came to get me and sat me in the consultation room. Drew came bopping towards me with a prize bag and a balloon. Um, did I mention the sobbing???

He had a perfect check-up and when the dentist said, "Keep up the good work" I almost laughed in his face. Good work. Snort. Luck is what it is.

Add to this stellar dental visit the fact that Drew has decided he does like the shower after all, washes his hair on his own, and then declares, "I can dry off and put my pajamas on by myself," well, it's all just a bit much for old ma.

RIP, ibook

2010-08-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sad. So sad. If I had music on my blog it would be playing a funeral dirge just now. The ibook is broken and we have entered the land of "costs more to replace the part than the whole thing is worth." Sad. I've been to this land many times before, but it usually involves a car.

We haven't quite figured out what to do just yet, so for now, Big Dan and I are arm wrestling for computer time. Why he would ever be brave enough to arm wrestle me is such a mystery. So, I may be a little scarce around here for a while. And pictures? Fugedaboudit. You know it will take me a solid six months to figure out how to get them loaded on a WHOLE NEW COMPUTER.

In the meantime, we are T-minus one week away from starting school. It will be a "soft start" since I will have a week and a half of training. We could definitely use your prayers! Drew is already a nervous wreck. And there is lots to be done! It's going to be crazy (crazier!) around here for a while. Add to that the fact that we have entered the late-August-slide-to-holiday-madness and you can pretty much guarantee that by the end of December I'll be propped up in a corner mumbling to myself. And maybe drooling. At least we have plenty of bibs lying around...

For the Love

2010-08-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it a few days without causing significant damage to anything around here, but never fear, I've done it again. This time I have royally messed up my computer. I am utterly sick about it. Yesterday Big Dan called me up to say, "Would it help if I came home early so you could get some work done in your classroom?" A THOUSAND TIMES, YES!! So, I headed to school to work for a few hours and took my computer with me so I could have some musical accompaniment. On the return trip my giant bag was filled with books I needed to review, and my computer was on top. And then. I had to stop abruptly, and the bag fell into the floor. And then. When I turned on my computer the whole right side of the screen was, well, not quite right. As in, a big blank white space that was sort of flashing. Oh.my.word.

I have a slight attachment to my computer and I was having a slight drama-fest over it and Big Dan just started laughing at me. He did point out that I have had the computer for quite a while. WHICH IS PRECISELY THE POINT. We're tight, the iBook and I. We have chemistry. We jive. And now I've perhaps fatally wounded him.

There is a tiny glimmer of hope. Uncle Jon is a Mac genius. And what, with all his free time just now with school starting back, I'm sure he can't wait to work on my decrepit iBook. Wonder if there's any chance I made $1300 at the consignment sale??

Food, Angst.

2010-08-11T06:54:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I finally got around to watching the "Food, Inc." documentary. I have to hand it to the makers of this movie. It scared the pants off me. And then it ticked me off. And then I was scared again. And then ticked. I think you can see where this is going.

In case you haven't subjected yourself to this particular brand of mental/emotional torture, let me enlighten you. It is basically a discussion of the mainstream food industry in America, its' corruption and ultimately the danger to we, the consumers. Sounds relaxing, huh?

Well, not being one to only know a little about a subject (some might call it obsessive...) I promptly checked out two of Michael Pollan's books from the library. He's one of the fellows behind this movie. To say I read these books would be a slight overstatement. Skimmed is more like it. Skimmed and cursed. One of his books discusses the fact that the "organic" industry has now become more mainstream and in so doing has lost its' soul. More or less. Did I mention that I'm ticked?

Here's why I'm all wadded up over this. When you're just a plain, little ol' mom trying to raise healthy children you take for granted that you can trust certain things. Well, guess what? You can't. Not only does the mainstream media drive home the point that children today are OBESE and UNHEALTHY and this will be the first generation to DIE YOUNGER THAN THEIR PARENTS, but those on the other side are constantly driving their left-wing agenda as well. Seriously, can we leave politics out of this? I'm sure Michael Pollan is a swell guy, but I think he is just as guilty as the big food corporations. GASP! How could I say such a thing??? Well, because, he uses scare tactics to drive his agenda. Is he right about some things? Yes, very important things. But, I think he compromises his integrity by tying politics to his "cause". Not to mention how unrealistic his advice is for most normal people. And by normal I mean folks who don't make a bajillion dollars writing scary books or making scary movies. Real people who need to use coupons (or food stamps) to buy groceries. Real people who don't own goats/chickens/cows or have neighbors who do. Moms who can barely keep up with normal household chores and cannot even grow cucumbers in a container on the deck, much less feed her family with organically grown vegetables (from homemade compost, of course.)

And let's not even discuss the government's role in all this disgusting scandal. Republicans and Democrats have made super shady decisions in this area. Luckily, I lost my shine towards the government a long time ago. Nothing they choose to do or ignore really surprises me at this point. Bitter much??

So. What have I done? After talking myself down from the ledge (Again. Remember I'm the queen of self pep-talks) I decided to implement my changes slowly. I had to decide what matters most to me and make baby steps to reach my food goals. And yes, I'm aware this all points toward some sort of psychosis. I never promised sanity around here people! And, because I pretend you care, I'll share with you what I've decided.

First, it matters to me the environment animals are in when they become my food (or give my food in the case of dairy cows). Look, at the risk of sounding awful, it's not so much that I *care* about the animals. I'm not a bleeding heart about animals and I think it's perfectly appropriate to eat them and their products. But the things these animals are enduring are not NATURAL. It isn't how God intended at all. And the neglect is beginning to show and the ramifications are effecting real families. It takes some digging to find out about this aspect of your meal. As I mentioned, the organic market is a big corporation now. Luckily, there are lots of folks out there more ticked off than me, so there are an abundance of websites that rate companies according to several factors. Just as an FYI, the Whole Foods brand of milk (365) scores very well and is reasonably priced. And they make string cheese, too.

Second, I am working on becoming a high fructose corn syrup free zone. I watched another documentary (obsessed *cough*) called "King Corn" and this one I really loved. These two random guys made it and they are much more laid back in their message. I'll even forgive them for interviewing Michael Pollan! ANYWAY. The point is corn is everywhere. And perhaps the little ad campaign is right, that in moderation HFCS (handy abbreviation...) is ok. But, good luck with that, because it's in everything we eat almost. So, did I go through and throw out everything I have that contains HFCS? Nope. A) I'm cheap, and B) That's so wasteful. As things run out I replace it with something HFCS free. The choices are many these days. Companies are getting the message for sure.

Third, I'm buying local produce this summer and loving it. I would picket in a line that said, "Save the little farmers!" I've got just enough hippie blood in me to make the poster and have it ready!

Last, I'm tiptoeing slowly towards finding a local meat source. Grass fed beef, free range chickens, pigs who aren't fed other animals. You know. Wholesome. I have a good lead on a farm about 40 minutes from here. I've yet to make the trip, but it's on the (ever-growing) list.

There you have it. I would not call my self crunchy, but I'm maybe moving out of the soggy category. Baby steps. Oh, and I will never, ever give up Chik-Fil-A. So, if you know something...don't tell me!

Cricket

2010-08-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend I was on a retreat for my new job. Some other time I'll catch you up on how utterly bizarre it was to be on a work retreat for the first time in around 7 years. Bizarre, I say.

Today, though, I want to tell you about one of the other new teachers at the school. Her name is Cricket (a nickname that she has fully adopted as her name. So fitting) and she is 70 years old. When she told the group her age, I said, out loud "Stop it!" I would have NEVER guessed that she was 70 years old. She is beautiful!

Each new person was asked to share some of their story and her story is so amazing. I didn't ask her if I could share it with you, but I feel most certain she wouldn't mind! She's just that way. She was married to a Presbyterian minister for 41 years. Two years ago, he passed away. You should hear her talk about him. She talks about having a true knight in shining armor. But not in a way that seems to overcompensate for some other reality. She truly feels that way about him. BUT, she is not stuck in her grief. Speaking of his passing comes so naturally, and she never makes you feel like you shouldn't ask about it.

And then, she talks about the rest of her life. All the things she plans to do and all the ways she plans to serve the Lord until she takes her last breath. Just this summer she went parasailing with her 10 year old grandson. She has promised her granddaughter a hot air balloon ride as soon as she's tall enough to see over the basket. While we were down on the dock over the weekend she saw people riding on a tube behind a boat. Once we explained what was going on, she said, "Do you think if I flagged them down, they'd let me try that??" I feel certain that they would have! She is spunky and hilarious and one of the kindest souls I've ever met. And, she's hoping the Lord will call her to minister to Native Americans sometime soon!

She will be working for the first time in her life. Teaching the older toddlers at the school and she is very excited to work on teaching them the 23rd Psalm.

I am trying to figure out just how to spend as much time with her as possible. I can only hope that I will have as much passion for life and the Lord as she does when I am 70. I plan to call her to mind every time I feel tired. At 33!

10 months!

2010-08-05T12:20:00.000-07:00

Emily is 10 months old!! Didn't I just do one of these? Yikes!

Emily, at 10 months:

*You have lots of new tricks. The biggest one of the bunch is that you are pulling to stand! When I got home from my girls' trip, this is what I found:

We had to lower your mattress right quick, before you decided to jump out!

Your other favorite place to stand up is in the bathtub.

(This picture. I DIE!)

You are still learning to get back down. When you forget how, you give out a big ol' yell! You are still pretty scared to move your feet, but you are getting the idea that there just might be another way to get around.

*You have added clapping and dancing to your repertoire. You have a little stage fright though. If I catch you dancing and say anything about it, you laugh and then stop! You will not really perform any of your tricks for anyone else.

*You can make the sounds for a dog and a lion. And, to your credit, you think every animal (besides a lion) says "Ruff ruff", which comes out of you "unh, unh". At least you have the concept that they are animals!

*You really like Elmo. We are watching a bunch of Sesame Street because it sort of bridges the gap. It's a show that you and Drew enjoy.

*You are eating like a champ, have lots of foods that you can tolerate, and you love to drink from a straw. We are working on 10 straight weeks of no puking! Woo hoo! Dairy is our last horizon, but based on a bad call by mom and a little test, we are still a ways from conquering that one!

*It is getting more and more difficult to take your picture in the big, brown chair! Here are some shots from our photo shoot the other day:

Em, you are so easy-going! Even when you aren't feeling good, as long as you're up and about, no one would ever know. You are such a big snuggler and you love to give love. You are a major Daddy's girl! You flirt with him like none other!! Daddy and I (and Drew) love you so, so much. Your sweet self makes my day-everyday!

Happy August!

2010-08-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it is August 1st?? August has been looming large in my own mind for several weeks now. For some reason, August 1 was my deadline for various and sundry projects that I felt compelled to finish. It's like I'm nesting! (NOT pregnant...) it's the weirdest thing. And the only thing I can say is that it must be the push of school coming up. I guess somewhere in my subconscious I think I'm never going to get to work around the house again. Whatever it is, I sort of hope the momentum keeps going. I'm going to need it!

I worked in my classroom for around five hours yesterday. FIVE HOURS. And you would never know it. Sigh. Much to be done, but it was a good head start. They are replacing my floors starting on Tuesday, so another week is down the tubes. I did find a giant cabinet in my room full of books! Woo! I can't wait to dig through them.

I carted off a bunch of stuff to a consignment sale today. I waited outside for an hour. Outside. Where it's sweltering. I'll let you know if it was worth it!

Got the garage door fixed. That Chad, he's a good one. I told him I knew we probably needed to replace the door, but it wasn't exactly on the short list. He said, "Hey, I understand. We'll keep this thing going as long as we can." And that's why I love him.

Big Dan has worked his guts out to help me out this weekend (Holla, Big Dan!) I am currently hiding in my room. Just to give my ears a rest. I don't think Drew has stopped talking for around 3 weeks straight!

I Think a Change, Will Do You Good

2010-07-30T12:47:00.000-07:00

So...how do you like the new digs?? I'm still trying to decide. Ya'll, you were thisclose to losing me last night. I was getting ready to shut 'er down. I was going to abandon my mommy blabber for a full-on fanatical Criminal Minds fan blog. (Have you see this show??? I'm SUPER addicted. Thanks Katy.) But, lucky for you, I persevered through technological purgatory and came out on the other side. I just wanted to play around with the the blogger templates, but APPARENTLY, there is no going back. I spent an embarrassingly long time getting to this. Imagine if I had any bigger aspirations!

And yes, I took down the sidebar o' goals. It was just too much going on over there. I haven't forgotten about them, but some of them have been replaced by other more important things. So. Now you'll never know...it's going to haunt you, isn't it??

*On a completely unrelated note I have to tell you the things my son had to eat before 10:30 a.m. this morning. 1. 2 bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios 2. Two hot dogs with ketchup (no idea!) 3. A mini bag of Doritos (look, we were at Wal-Mart and he needed a distraction. Don't judge.) 4. A mug of hot chocolate. Can you say gross me out??? Then we came home for lunch and he declared he wanted a salad. He ate around three bites and said he was full. Ya think? Fifteen minutes later he asked for a strawberry milkshake (Carnation Instant Breakfast) and proceeded to down the whole thing. He said, "I'm not really in the mood for anything with vegetables." Just one more reason to nominate me as Mother of the Year.

*I managed to break the garage door again. I know all of you are jealous that you don't live with me. My poor Big Dan. After a hard days work, probably one in which someone yelled or cussed at him, all he wanted to do was come home, open the garage door, change into his basketball shorts and relax. Nope. Not married to this old gal. Yesterday afternoon I got a big energy burst and decided to make the most of it and do some jobs. I quickly unloaded my recycling containers out of the back of my car. Apparently, I forgot to close the hatch on the back of my car, and when Big Dan came home and tried to open the door, it broke. Sigh. I thought I was kicking tail and taking names yesterday afternoon. I had to call Chad the garage door repairman. We're getting close, Chad and I. I plan to beg (on my knees if I have to) for him to find a way to fix it without replacing the door. Beg, I say!

Here's hoping I don't cost us any extra money for the rest of today!

Midterms

2010-07-29T12:37:00.001-07:00

We are way past the midpoint of the year, but I thought I'd better check in on my resolutions and see how I'm coming along. This is purely for my own personal edification/chastisement. Feel free to skip the reading today!

Physical:

1. Lose weight-I have made some progress in this area finally. I am 15 lbs. from my goal weight. I hope to have it off by Emily's birthday. Grade=B-

2. Work on my style-Well, this totally depends on the day. Like yesterday I woke up in the mood to just wear my yoga pants all day long. So I did. Well, until I got too HOT and had to change into shorts. And today, after our morning outing I promptly changed out of my cute madras skirt into black palazzo pants circa: pregnancy with Drew. But, overall, I think I've made some major strides in this area. I hit the jackpot when I stumbled upon Lindsay Ferrier's style blog She's Still Got It. Unlike most style websites, it's by a mom on a budget for a mom on a budget. I've gotten some great tips from her. And have her to blame for a considerable upswing in my spending...

As far as the lipstick goes...not so good. I have remembered more often than, say, last year, but still, poor showing. I did wear some Burt's Bees yesterday.

Grade-A

Mental:

I have been reading A LOT this year. Currently I am about 35% of the way through Big Dan's favorite book "The Killer Angels" about the Civil War. I was making good progress until some of the books I had on hold at the library came in. I have to read those up right quick, because other people are waiting on them. I am currently reading FIVE books. I'm not sure what's going on, but I feel like i have to read every book I can think of RIGHT NOW. Like some classes in college, this category is a total gimme. Grade=A+

Spiritual:

I think I am most proud of my consistency in this category. I have actually maintained the plan to read the Bible through by the end of the year!! I know this is not that big of a deal to some people, but it's a HUGE deal to me. There have been times when I have had to do some catching up, but I've never been so far behind that I couldn't. And, I'm LOVING it . I love the chronology of it all. I'm learning TONS.

Currently I'm on a Lisa Whelchel binge. Yes, that Lisa Whelchel. Blair from "Facts of Life"!! Bizarre or what? But, it turns out that she has written several books targeted to young, Christian moms and I am really loving how practical she is. She gets what it's like to be slightly nuts at all times and still want to grow in your faith. It's the first time that reading a mom book like this has made me feel like it's ok to just do the little I can. I think this is a message God is trying to get across to me. In fact, in my Bible reading last week I came across this verse:

"He tends his flock like a shepherd; he gathers his lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; he gently leads those who have young." Isaiah 40:11.

Did you catch that last part??? "He gently leads those who have young." You may think I am a kook, but those words were life to me. It is like he is saying, "I get it. I know your season. I'm still leading, but I understand we need to go slower."

As far as the "stirring" that I was feeling several months ago, well, I guess we all know what that was about! Three days a week of serving three year olds, coming right up!

Grade=Ummm...I feel kind of weird grading this section!

House and Home:

1. Cook one new dish for dinner each week: FAIL. Although, I will say over the last month, I've done some better in the cooking category. A lot of days, though, Big Dan gets home later and isn't really hungry for dinner. And because I've been trying to shed some lbs., I've been eating very plain items. So. Maybe some other season. I did learn to cook a MEAN steak this year. I think that might count for everything.

2. Ha! I haven't even been motivated to pull out any magazine recipes lately. Ha! So...A+++ on this one! I am cooking a new recipe from Southern Living sometime this week. Baby steps.

I've picked up some good habits around the house that make up for my lack of cooking. (See, the beauty of grading yourself if you can give random extra credit at any time!) I have started folding my clothes straight out of the dryer (thanks to the tip from Kristin) and this has REALLY cut down on my ironing. Although, right now I have three items laying on the ironing board needing to be ironed and every day I just look at them. Also, I do housework for 30 minutes after the kids go down for nap and for 30 minutes after they go to bed (if I need to). It's amazing what gets done in just that one hour's worth of time. I've also been a purging maniac and have gotten rid of a ton of stuff. Add to that, that Big Dan is keeping the family room under control and Drew is getting some lessons in cleaning up after himself, we've added a *little* more sanity to the home front.

Grade: C+

I'm not sure what all of those average out to, but can I just say that I've never been very good at keeping resolutions and I feel pretty proud that these items are still on the forefront of my mind? Which is saying something considering what a mental case I am. I'm just happy I didn't forget about them all together!

Works for Me Wednesday-Witching Hour Play Date

2010-07-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it?? I'm doing a "Works for Me Wednesday" post. It's been ages. I guess I just haven't felt all that tip-tacular of late. There are more super tips over at We Are That Family. Go. See. I'll wait...

My tip today is not something I thought up. It just kind of...happened. And boy, am I glad it did! Have you ever heard that the late afternoon/evening hours are called "The Witching Hours"? I think this is because mothers turn into witches at this time of day. Or is it because the kids do? Probably both. It is definitely not the most fun I've ever had. I've heard some people call this time of day the "Aresenic Hours" As in, slip me some so I can make a quick exit. Whew. Now that is a bad day.

Play dates (can someone please tell me when we started calling hanging out with other moms "play dates"? Don't get me wrong-I've embraced the term. I'm just pretty sure I never called a rowdy game of hide and seek in the back yard a "play date") usually take place in the morning. I am assuming this is because children are usually at their best this time of day. And nobody wants the obnoxious kid at the play date. Not that I would know anything about that...

But, my neighbor, Lana and I have stumbled upon what might be the largest miracle of motherhood anyone has ever discovered. I'm not exactly sure how it started, but I think it happened around the time that Emily was tiny and screamed her little lungs out everyday starting at around 5:00 p.m. Lana graciously said one time, "Just come over and I'll hold Emily". Lana is a real live baby whisperer. So, we would go. I would hand over Princess Screams A lot, Drew and her son would play, and I would sit, slightly comatose on the couch. As time passed and Emily got better, we figured out these times were perfect for us. Both of our husbands, bless them, work their heads off, and are often home late. It's not their faults, but it does leave us alone for these horrid hours. Alone, until we started hanging out together!

Now our withching hour play dates usually involve one of us cooking dinner (which means the other is off the hook!) and lots of mommy time while the boys play. Sometimes with each other, sometimes not. We don't really care to be honest. And it always seems to work out that if one of us is in need of some coma time, the other is up for entertaining. Beautiful magic is what it is.

Moms need other moms. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone to talk to while you do the dishes or clean up the family room for the 105th time that day. Sometimes your kid acts better when another mom is around! Sometimes you have a few things to get off your chest, dang it.

Be warned. This is not a play date to plan with your judgmental friends. Ha! Kids are devils this time of the day. Find another friend who will look at them and roll their eyes and stroll back to the kitchen to hang out with you. Two is better than one.

Drew with his partner in crime:

Things I Like About Summer

2010-07-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

I am making this list because I am (still) working on my attitude. Because, ya'll? This heat?? Over. it. I swear I was excited today that it might not break into the nineties because I knew that I might not sweat my hind end off (if only...) inside my house tonight. Only a tiny bit of sweat tonight. And I could actually put Emily in regular pajamas. And I can't stop thinking about all the things I don't like about summer-super stinky trash (outside), dog hair all over my house and baby, flies, mosquitoes. SWEAT.

Ok. Enough with the whining. Onto the list.

Things I like about summer:

1. It is socially acceptable for my baby to be barefoot almost all the time. Which is so nice, because it is beyond annoying to put her shoes back on her feet 14 times in one outing.

2. I don't have to really work at drinking enough water.

3. If I take my kids swimming it means we can skip bath time.

4. Fresh produce. I know I mock myself for my love of junk food. Because, I mean, it is a problem. BUT, I also love vegetables. Pretty much all of them except for the few I've always been afraid to try. And when I can buy them super fresh at the farm stand down the road? Even better. Even if they do give my son a red sucker, which sort of defeats the purpose...

5. I love that it stays light later. I don't feel like my day is over by 5:30 p.m.

6. I like watching my son eat a popsicle outside with the juice dripping all down his arms.

7. I like watching my son wash his arms off in the Elmo sprinkler.

8. I love both of my kids' hair when it is all sweaty.

9. I love that I don't have to argue with Drew to wear a coat/hat/gloves

10. The days are ours to do with what we want. Not for long. And I'm trying so hard not to wish the summer away. Just please, for the love, temperature, take a tiny 10 degree downslide. Please? For me?

Watch Out For Us

2010-07-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Boy. Yesterday I was in a mood. I have no idea where it came from, but my patience and ability to deal was around zero. And it was the Lord's Day. I felt certain that after church (which equals Big Dan and I getting a few minutes to be together alone) I would be feeling better. But noooooooooo. And then my super mood spread like a thick ooze over the rest of the household. This is not the image of "mother" I'm really striving for...

Today, I decided I was going to better. In case you were wondering I spend quite a bit of time giving myself little pep talks. Mostly internal, although I have a very bad habit of talking to myself out loud in the grocery store. I'm pretty sure I have a reputation at my local Kroger.

Anyway.

I wanted to sit down with Drew first thing this morning and have a little prayer time to get things going on the right foot for both of us. (I do not tell you this to sound like a pious mother. Please. I just admitted that I was a total bi-otch yesterday) When I told him my idea, he was excited. We sat down to pray and he said, "I have a blessing to say mom." Before I tell you what he said (and believe me, it's worth the wait) I need to give a little background. Drew has been having a hard time with thinking potty words are funny. We are working hard to teach him that the standards we have are God's standards not just arbitrary standards. So, I've been using a bible verse to remind him that saying "BOOTY" and dying laughing is not a good idea. I taught him Eph. 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome words come out of your mouth..."

So. Today, during our morning prayers he says, "Dear Dod, Sometimes we say unwholesome words, and I think it's because maybe we didn't get enough sleep. And when me and Mommy don't get good sleep we are grouches and have unwholesome words. Please watch out for us."

I'd say watch out!!! Good word, son, good word.

Give away alert!

2010-07-24T14:48:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned before my very talented and sweet friend Laura who is the mastermind behind Pitter Patter Art. She is giving away one of her amazing art pieces and YOU could be the winner!! Go to her blog and read about the piece. It will make you want it even more. While you're there browse around-she has a special gift for any occasion!

3.5

2010-07-23T20:11:00.001-07:00

This boy-

-makes my heart squeeze and tears well up in my eyes. And not because his behavior is bad! (Today!) I've been emotional lately about my Drew. I'm not sure what it's all about, but it probably has something to do with putting together his photo book from his 2 year old year. I'm a tad behind. Whatever.

At three and a half Drew is so totally different than when he was just 3. It is unbelievable how much he has changed. And when I think about him a year ago...

Here are some of my favorite things about Drew:

*He is, seriously, a fantastic big brother. I know I keep saying this on the blog, but I think I'm just a little taken aback at just how much he loves Emily. He has not resented her for one second, and although I know there are times that having a baby around makes things hard, he never says anything negative about her. Sometimes he even asks if he can play with her in the playroom. He love, loves to make her laugh and knows how to help when she is crying. And he's already protective of her. I'm praying every day that they will always love each other deeply.

*He is OBSESSED with super heroes. It all started with some hand-me-down pajamas that came with capes. He had to know EVERYTHING about the super heroes. He has decided that Super Man is his ultimate favorite, and I must say I'm thrilled with his choice. Daniel bought him a multi-pack with all four original Super Man movies. You know, with Christopher Reeve? He LOVES them. And, it made me remember how much I love Christopher Reeve. (And then we saw him on Sesame Street post accident and I had to answer the question "Mommy, what happened to Super Man?" Sad. We didn't get to the rest of the story...) He has traded in singing "Bushel and a Peck" at bedtime to insisting I sing the theme music to Super Man. I do quite a mean movie score.

*He loves to talk like a grown-up. If Daniel and I are talking, discussing the day, he will make up stories about his own day. Saying things like "This guy at my work..." Seriously. Hilarious.

*He definitely has the gift of encouragement. He really does look for something nice to say about everyone. He is great to compliment me, Daniel or Emily. He says sweet things about Aunt Katy and Lyla and remembers things about his friends and thinks of them when he sees something he knows they would like.

*He is working so hard to not be shy when he's in public. It is still his first instinct to hide his face, but he is doing much better about speaking to those who speak to him. Some days, he smiles and waves at everyone he passes. Last weekend he was with Granna at Target and marched right up to the sales person and asked if they had Super Man boots "in just his size".

*He is learning to be so independent. We are working on some skills this summer to get us ready for the school year. He is also such a great helper. We make his bed together and he is in charge of giving the dog some water (and putting the bowl up when Emily is crawling around!)

*He tells me he loves me around 100 times a day. At home, in the car, at the store. In the middle of doing all sorts of fun boy activities, he will stop to say "I love you." Oh. My heart.

Drew is so earnest. Most days he works really hard to make good choices. There are those times, of course, when, like all of us, he just can't help but be a stinker. But his heart is soft and he is so teachable.

I love him more and more every single minute.

Hot and Bothered

2010-07-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

Did you notice that little sign in the upper left hand corner of my blog?? Yes, I use a free site to put up a background on my blog. Have you ever asked how much it costs to get one made? A lot. Especially for a blog that 8 people read. No offense. You know I love my 8, but unless someone is paying me to do this, I ain't paying for a background. And now mine is going to disappear?? Boo.

I logged in today to write a post about Drew in all of his 3 1/2 year old glory. And then I got annoyed. And then I decided it was too hot to be emotional, writing about my son. I'm not sure if you're aware, but it is like the heat of 10,000 suns is beating down on Nashville. From what I hear, it's like that just about everywhere now. Sadly, it turns out that when it is in the mid 90's-100's and humid, our poor a/c units just can't keep up. Yes, I said units, plural. We have two-one upstairs and one downstairs-and they still can't keep up. We had the a/c people come out early in the summer when it was unbearably hot because we thought something was wrong. Nope. Both units are in great shape. It's just TOO FREAKING HOT. So, around nap time each day, the temperature in our house starts creeping up and by dinner time, it's sweltering. Sounds fun, huh?? All I can think about everyday is how thankful I am that I am not pregnant. If you think I'm whiny now...

I'm working really hard to keep the irritability under control. It's hard for a girl when chocolate and cinnamon/brown sugar pop-tarts are not on the menu.

So, instead of writing a sweet post about my fantastic son, I'll be waiting 4.5 days for the Cutest Blog on the Block site to download so I can try to figure out what the heck is going on. Promise you won't stop reading if I go back to blogspot basic, K??

Edited to add:
Ok. I followed some vague instructions over on TCBOTB and it should get things cleared up soon. I realize none of you are remotely concerned about the background on my blog, but I keep feeling a strong compulsion to tell you about it...

Wednesday

2010-07-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

I have no creative title for this post, and it should be a foreshadowing for the content to follow. Not exciting. Just a little life and times update, and *perhaps* a way for me to clear a little brain space. Oh, and, I've been waiting for Emily to fall asleep for 30 minutes so I could do a little quiet time. Nothing like a shrill baby to drive away the Holy Spirit. I kid, I kid.

Last weekend I was able to get away for THREE WHOLE DAYS with some great friends. A few years ago we all got together to "celebrate" the fact that we were all turning a certain age that comes after 29. Well, except for one of us who is way younger. It is definitely paying off these days! After the first get together we decided to make it an annual thing.

I was probably the most slothful I have been in approximately 18 months. I have not slept or laid around as much since Big Dan and I went on vacation back in January '09. Eighteen months of perpetual motion catches up with a person. Especially ones like me who need approximately 12 hours of sleep a night just to keep the grouchies at bay. I'm a blast to live with these days.

Anyway, we hung out at the lake, read magazines, discussed which celebrities we hate-including a very fun hypothetical game called "who would be more miserable to hang out with", answered hypothetical questions, played games, and ate lots of yummy food. We had so much fresh produce I almost called Big Dan to let him know I would be moving next door to Bill Love just so I could steal veggies from his garden. We also laughed our ever-lovin' heads off over stuff that, even if I was willing to tell you, you would have no idea why it was funny. All I'm saying is that somewhere out there exists some very corny video footage. It was just what the doctor ordered.

By all accounts my children epitomized perfection while I was gone. I would be skeptical if this report came only from their grandmother, but my husband concurred, and ya'll, he's got some high standards. I was so happy. And I was certain that all of my "dealing with a 3 year old" fatigue would melt away and Drew and I would spin around singing "Happy Together" as soon as I was home. Right. Turns out he had just been saving up all of his DEVIL IMPERSONATIONS until I got home. Can someone please tell me-WHAT IS THAT????? Truly, I've tried not to be insecure about it. Heaven knows us moms don't need any extra reasons to doubt our abilities. But, it is a *little* disheartening to know he can behave like a champ, but around me just chooses not to. I'm giving serious thought to opening a little boot camp right here in my home.

In other news, by tomorrow I will have completed what I have termed "preliminary" tasks for starting school. This included copious amounts of paperwork, meetings to get an intro to curriculum and classroom environmental standards and other such educational items that don't exist in children's ministry, and getting my keys. I have also participated in two social events where I barely knew anyone. I'll pause while you clap and pat me on the back...My goal was to have those things done by August, and well, I'm early! Hooray! I took the kids to the school one day last week to try out working with them there. Let's just say I've had more fun at the doctor. The girl doctor. Looks like some weekend work is in my very near future.

Alrighty. T-minus 45 minutes of wishing for Emily to take a nap. Don't worry. She hasn't been crying that long. Just jabbering, and most importantly NOT SLEEPING. Heaven help us.