I don't even know where to start. I think, probably, I should start with the fact that 2/3 of my Christmas tree is still standing in my family room. And yes, you read that right, 2/3 of my Christmas tree. Some of you may remember I don't exactly have stellar luck when it comes to Christmas Trees. This year did not disappoint. After I lugged her down from the attic, put her all together, and connected all her plugs, O. Christmas Tree rewarded me with being only half lit. I tried everything short of beating the tree into submission, all to no avail. Finally, I unceremoniously draped some independent lights on the front of the tree (yes, just the front!) and called it a day. Two days later my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I decided we'd be spending Christmas in Knoxville. All decorating came to a halt. When we returned home and I announced it was time to take the tree down, Drew cried. "But we haven't even put any ornaments on it! And we didn't even get to have Christmas at this house!" And so, on January 2nd we hung ornaments on the tree. Only the non-breakables, and they mainly hung 3 feet and under.
I have decided I will not be outwitted by the pre-lit Christmas tree manufacturing industry. It is ridiculous to throw away a whole tree just because the lights are burnt out. (No offense if you've done this...) It's a great tree-really nice shape, easy-ish to put together. I made a plan to just remove the pre-lit lights from the tree. Next year I will just string it with regular lights. Well. I took off the smallest piece, the very top. ONE HOUR AND A HALF later, I had finally removed all the lights. ONE HOUR AND A HALF. Did I mention my hands were bleeding actual blood?
I'll be damned if I'm going to be bested by a Christmas tree. You best believe that in honor of the great work done by Martin Luther King, Jr., I'll be spending the weekend teaching my tree a thing or two about Civil Rights. Mine, that is. Like my right to not throw away a whole tree.
And that's just the beginning.
Tomorrow I'll tell you all about our heater. And our duct work. And all of my regrets about not taking the vocational track in high school.