Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Road Less Traveled

**This post is an attempt at a humorous post describing the road trip that would not end. However, I do want to acknowledge that the reason I got stuck is because of a horrible accident involving the death of 11 members of the Marrowbone Christian Brotherhood Church. Most were members of one family-the Esh family. I know this community could use your prayers.**

So.....I thought it would be a great idea to load up the kids and head to Indianapolis last weekend. Because, having recently reconnected with my cousin Todd and his wife, Nikki, I was itching to spend some time with them. And my mom was already headed that way. And it was only 5 hours. I could do five hours.

I carefully plotted my course, choosing where to stop for lunch. I even consulted my crack team of Louisville experts. I used the Chik-Fil-A map your route feature. Which shows you every Chik-Fil-A on your way. Seriously. Just one more reason to freaking love Chik-Fil-A. The car was packed, gassed and ready to go. Mapquest directions in their place. Phone charged. Snacks handy. Bottles ready to be warmed in the handy car warmer. We were set.

Around Bowling Green I thought to myself, "Wow. Miles are flying by. What an easy trip." Serious tactical error. A few minutes later I saw a sign that alluded to an accident and a detour. But the exit seemed forever away. "Oh, they'll have it all taken care of by the time I get there." Another serious tactical error.

About 30 minutes north of Bowling Green traffic on I-65 North came to a screeching halt. This did not bode well for the two small people in my back seat. We crept along. I kept thinking, somehow this will all clear up. I called my sister who got to work on finding out some info for me. In the meantime, I had pulled alongside a trucker with his window down. So I did what any redneck mama would do-I rolled down my window and shouted at him. He let me know there was a major accident involving fatalities. Then he said words that chilled me to my bones. "The interstate will probably be closed all day." Holy Crap. I was seriously trying to avoid freaking out. Katy gave me all of the horrible details about the crash and then informed me there was a detour set up. I needed to take exit 58 and follow 3 different KY highways to get around the accident. No problem. I was at mile marker 54. Only four miles to the exit.

While I made my way those next four miles, I was treated to the company of three carloads of redneck, farm boys from Illinois. They were making the most of their time on the interstate. Having chinese fire drills, standing up out of the sunroof. Blowing their horns over and over and over and over. Taking a leak right outside my car. Delightful young men. Such a nice way to spend two hours.

Yes, TWO HOURS, is the amount of time it took me to go four miles. By this time I had broken into a complete sweat using all of my energy trying to avoid breaking into sobs. During that two hours, anytime we stopped moving, I threw the car in park, hopped in the back and fed Emily some bottle. She got to eat for as long as we were stopped, then she had to have a break while I moved the car up 6 inches. We finally made it to the truck stop/McDonald's. It was packed, as you might imagine. We waited in line for the restroom for a good 15 minutes. Then we probably almost started a riot since I was in the big stall for about that long. Mommy potty, preschooler potty and baby diaper change cannot be rushed.

Somehow, in my mind, once I got off the interstate I was home free. I failed to think about the implications of the entirety of traffic flow from I 65 being diverted to a one lane highway. Oh. My. Gosh. Sitting still. In the car. Again. Baby starts crying. DONOTFREAKOUT, DONOTFREAKOUT, DONOTFREAKOUT. Finally, I realized what the problem was. The problem was that teeny tiny ol' Horse Cave, KY, was not organized in such a way as to handle the LARGE volume of traffic flooding through "downtown". I think they stuck a yellow safety vest on every good ol' boy who had been at home listening to his scanner and came down to see what all the fuss was about. It was a traffic jam the likes of which Horse Cave has never seen, I'm sure.

Finally, after getting through the rush hour traffic in downtown Horse Cave, the speedometer hit 40 mph and I almost wept-tears of joy. I followed these highways through small town after teeny town. Thanking the Lord there was gas in the tank and snacks in the bag. There was literally no where to stop. So we pressed on. Near the end of our Highway sojourn, we came to the birthplace and childhood home of Abraham Lincoln. Don't think I didn't consider stopping. I might never be back. Then I decided throwing in a history lesson might be pushing my luck...ya think??? As I turned left onto that last highway, I could feel myself getting excited. Almost back to the interstate. I'd been driving for hours. I must at LEAST be in Indiana by now. The INTERSTATE. I could see it!!!!!!! And then, 100 feet away, STOPPED by a red light. All i could do was lay my head down on the steering wheel.

Finally, back on 65 I felt exhilarated. Thrilled. Not long now!!!!!! I felt great until I saw the sign that said: Louisville 42. FORTY-TWO MILES TO LOUISVILLE??????? BUT IT'S STILL TWO HOURS AFTER LOUISVILLE! I HAVE THREE MORE HOURS IN THE CAR????????? And, so, the buzz was killed. We had three more hours to go after being in the car for seven. Seven hours and three to go.

I took a deep breath and decided to make those next three hours the most fun three hours in the car ever, of all time. Drew and I rocked out. We stopped at Kroger for some formula (because I forgot mine. Because I'm awesome like that) and some treats. We cheered and pumped our fists when we crossed the state line. We had a great time. Until 30 minutes out when Emily decided she had had enough. Turns our 9.5 hours in the car is her good girl limit. She started crying and I just refused to stop with only 30 minutes to go. So, Emily cried, Drew hid, and I almost fractured my fingers from clenching the steering wheel so tightly. When I got to Todd and Nikki's house I blew the horn like those rednecks from before. I didn't care. WE MADE IT!!!

For the record, Drew and Emily were AWESOME. And I'm not bragging because I know it was a straight up miracle from on high. Talk about troopers. I could take those two anywhere. Although, I think we're done with adventures for a while.

You may be wondering if the trip was worth it. You'll have to stay tuned to find out.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The List

When Drew first laid eyes on Buzz Lightyear is was obsession at first sight. First sight was provided by Uncle Sam, my "little" brother. Back when Toy Story first came out, Uncle Sam was a little guy and LOVED it. So, he got copies of both movies for Drew and Lyla since they didn't have them. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Until Buzz, Drew was never a kid to beg for toys in the store. Sometimes it seemed like he didn't even realize he could ask for toys. But all of that has changed now. Every day Big Dan and I are presented with a very thorough argument on why Drew needs a Buzz like Weston's in addition to the one he already has. It has something to do with a specific button you push. Apparently, his is all wrong. Who knew?

So what am I saying? Well, frankly, Drew has become greedy. Big Dan and I are partly to blame. Both of us LOVE to give presents. And we love for someone to LOVE what we give them. So, we kind of made it a habit of just randomly buying little things for Drew. We've created a monster. I've talked to him about it over and over. We've discussed God's feelings about being greedy. We've talked all about the children around the world with no toys. (Remember the bucket??) We try to teach him to be thankful. However, he still insists on talking about whatever it is he wants at that moment.

And so, I invented "the list". Now, anytime he says, "Hey Mommy, I really need to get Hamm and Dino (aka: Rex) so I can play Toy Story 2" I say, "Ok, buddy, we'll put them on the list." And like magic, he is done talking about it! He has no idea that there is no actual list. Or that said list is very vague-especially in the sense of when the objects might make their way here. He believes that if it is on "the list", he will have it. Fine. Because I figure most things that go on "the list" he'll forget about-just like he would if I got it for him! And the things he doesn't forget about maybe should be on a real list. It's the best idea I've had in months.

"The list". A close cousin of "my tab." You know, as in "Just put that on my tab!"


Here are a couple for today:

In the kitchen this morning Drew decided he wanted an apple. I was busy packing his lunch for school (YES, the morning of. Stop judging!) and told him he would have to wait a minute. He says, "Oh mommy, I can do it. I don't mind one bit."

Later, he was upstairs looking for some little red discs that shoot out of his Buzz Lightyear arm bands. (If all of that reads like gibberish to you, don't worry. You don't need to understand to appreciate the punch line.) He came downstairs and said (in a sing-song voice) "Mom-my, guess what I found?? You're going to be really impressed!"

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


You may have noticed a lack of "Drewisms" on the ol' blog lately. This would be due to the fact that most of what comes out of his mouth these days is not cute. Or sweet. We are smack dab in the middle of what my sister's and I have termed "The Phase" *cue ominous music*. Each of our three year olds has had a run of 3-4 months where life is pretty hard. We aren't sure the exact cause of "The Phase", but suffice it to say, it's a doozy. It has me with my tail tucked for sure. But I'm working on it. More on that later.

Back to the real reason I'm here.

Yesterday in the car we were listening to a Bible songs CD and the song "Angels Watching Over Me" came on. Drew says, "Momma this song is so silly." And I say, "Why?" And he says, "Because GOD watches over me, not angels!"


I think for today I'll be thankful he is learning that God is watching over him. I'll leave the "unseen world" for another day. Like maybe when I've had more sleep!

Monday, March 22, 2010

On Why It Takes Me 1 Hour to Fold 1 Basket of Laundry

After that monster of a title you should be afraid.

I've been lamenting lately-to myself-about my lack of productivity. It seems that I constantly make a seemingly do-able to-do list (lots of dashes in this post...) and then I continually fall short in completing it. So, I've been brainstorming. Am I just lazy? Is my age starting to catch up with me? Should I be on some sort of vitamin? It's mind boggling really, especially when I think about the amount of tasks I could get done at my old job. Notice I said could. I don't mean to imply that I always did. Because I didn't. I worked with lots of really great friends, so there was a lot of jaw flapping going on. But, if I needed to, I could crank out the work. Not so much these days.

And then, this morning it dawned on me. Here is an hour of my day broken down for your viewing pleasure. I think you will see the problem right away.

7:30~Retrieve laundry from dryer (none of your business how long it had been in there)

7:32~Run some garments upstairs for Daniel

7:33~Fold three shirts and one pair of shorts

7:34~"Mom, blah blah blah, Buzz Lightyear!! Come see! Mom! Mommy!! Come See!!"

7:35~Relent and "go see"

7:36~Fold one pair of baby pajamas, some pants and other things

7:38~Dog stands up from his bed and heads for the door. Let dog out.

7:39~Fold two pair of pants

7:40~Cat is scratching on the door to come in. Let cat in. Feed cat.

7:43~Fold some shirts

7:46~Emily is ready to finish her bottle. Feed her. Change her diaper.

7:56~Fold two more pairs of pants.

7:57~Cat is scratching on the laundry room door. Let cat out. Let dog back in.

8:00~"Mommy, I need to pee! Can you come with me? I'll miss you!" Walk Drew to the bathroom. 5 steps away.

8:03~Separate out clothes that need to be ironed. Spend a moment of silence for my ginormous ironing pile.

8:05~"Mommy, can I have computer time? i don't want Sprout I want Disney. I want to see that video where Zurg blah, blah, blah, blah. Ok, Mommy??"

8:08~Separate out clothes that need to be hung up.

8:10~Cat needs back in. Might say a curse word about cat. Let cat back in.

8:12~Declare loudly for all to hear "I WILL finish folding this laundry. Do NOT interrupt me again until all of this laundry is folded." There.

8:14~"Mommy, I got off the video page. Can you help me? Come see, Mommy! Come see, Mommy! Come see, Mommy!"

8:16~Look at the clock and realize I'd better go ahead and get dressed and ready for the day. Dress, ponytail, dab of make-up. Pick out Emily's clothes. Pick out Drew's clothes.

8:26~Match socks. Fold the pajamas. Pile in the basket.

1 hour to fold one basket of laundry.

Turns out vitamins would not really help much.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Spring Break! Woo!

I always feel like I should scream "Spring Break" like a college kid on MTV. Otherwise, it's just anti-climatic.

I think it's HIGH-larious that my 3 year old gets a "Spring Break" from his two days a week at preschool. It's especially funny given the amount of snow days he's had. I won't get into how Big Dan and I feel about paying for a bunch of school that's not happening.

There is waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy to much ground to cover from our week. I'm going to do you a favor and spare you the long, rambling narrative about our many adventures. You're welcome. I'd also like to say that I got exactly zero pictures of the whole week. I traveled alone with a 3 year old and a 5 month old. The fact that we're all alive should be enough.

So, here is my Spring Break list. The highlights, just for you.

1. We started and ended our Spring Break with birthday parties! Happy Birthday Wade and Etta! Highlight of Wade's party-Emily (not to brag) was a crack-up. She laughed the whole night. Girl loves a party. Well, Emily and the AWESOME decorations Katy and I made. =) Highlight of Etta's party-Etta decked out in her Fancy Nancy dress and necklaces. She worked the party dress. Oh yes, she did.

2. We did a lot of driving. The kids were awesome. Drew wins the big brother prize for entertaining AND feeding Emily when need be.

3. Hands-On museum in Johnson City. We added a little day trip to our Knoxville trip to visit Grandad for his birthday. Kristin and the kids came along and we had a blast at the Hands-On museum, and the sandwich shop in Jonesborough. Neither could out do the Lollipop Shop, though. If I had a picture here it would be of Weston and Drew, holding Grandad's hands, giant lollipops in the other hand, walking down the street of historic Jonesboro.

4. The sun came out!!!!!!!!!!

5. On Friday we had a meet up with the Mom's club at the Y to swim in their indoor pool. Since I could check Emily into the nursery, Drew and I had a little quality time. He was a big fan. The best part for me was leaving the Y in my shorts and flip flops (yeah, I wore shorts. Scary, but oh so fun!). It kind of tricked my mind into thinking it was summer.

And as a beautiful grand finale...Emily slept through the night!!!!!!!

Spring Break! Wooooooo!!!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Sleep Training Saga 3

And, yes, I had to look back to see which chapter of the saga we are on.

Well. We are fresh off our Spring Break 2010 road trip to K-town for Wade's first birthday!! I cannot believe he is a year old. Seriously. We had a great (albeit FRANTIC) trip. More on that some other time.

For today, I just wanted to let you know that we are MAKING PROGRESS!!!!!!! First, I just have to say that I might be the only mom on planet Earth who is thrilled with the time change!! My children (yes, both) have been getting up at 6 a.m. everyday. 6 a.m. is dangerously close to the 5's and we all know I don't get up in the 5's. With the time change, 6 a.m. is now 7 a.m.! (Needless to say, traveling to a different time zone on time change weekend was like the biggest word problem ever. My meager math skills were put to the test. Especially when I set my watch to military time and couldn't get it fixed back!!)

Last night, or rather, really early this morning (4:30) Emily woke up. I went in her room and she was all out of her swaddle and he sleep positioner was at her feet. Not really doing it's job, by the way. I don't know what came over me, but I just stuck her paci in her mouth and walked out. I went back to bed sure I was going to be getting up again in five minutes. When I rolled over and looked at the clock it was TWO HOURS later! Do you understand what this means??? She went back to sleep without being swaddled!!!!!!! Naturally, I panicked and went to check on her just to be sure. At 6:50 I was wide awake in my bed wondering when either of my children would be getting up. I thought, for about a nano second, about getting up and getting a jump on the day. Instead, I laid in bed and did nothing.

So, at nap time today, I got crazy and put her down for her morning nap with no swaddle. I gave her a lovey and her paci and left the room. I did not hear a peep out of her for the next hour and a half. YESSSSSSSSS! This afternoon she is having a little bit more of a hard time, but she is snuggling her lovey and working to go back to sleep.

I know some of you seasoned moms are shaking your heads, knowing full well this might never happen again. I know, I know. But a mama's got to celebrate whenever and whatever she can. So, I'm partying, baby. You know, really quietly, so I don't wake anyone up!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Bucket of Hope

Last week i was talking to my sister (for probably the third time that day...) and she mentioned that she was at Wal-Mart getting items for a project she was doing with Weston for Haiti. I begged her for the details and then squealed (maybe not actually) because it was just the kind of project I had been looking for. Coupled with the fact that her stories about Weston and the bucket were so stinkin' cute. Because after looking at pictures of some Haitian children he wondered if they were on "Gullah Gullah Island." And when it came time to pray for his bucket he started, "Dear Haiti..." When my sister stopped him and said, "We need to pray to God for Haiti" he said, "Oh yeah...Dear Haiti..." Love it!! I wanted something to do with Drew that was hands-on. Something more than just putting money in an envelope. And this was just the project. Only, there was a slight problem. I'm not Baptist (anymore) and I had no idea of any churches locally doing this project. Luckily, I spent the majority of my life as a hard-core Baptist, and knew my local Baptist Association would have all the pertinent information.

I called the Nashville Baptist Association office, explaining that, while I wasn't a Baptist, I loved their project and would love to do it with my three year old. The lady laughed and said they would love to have an extra bucket (from a Baptist or not...) but I would need to drop it off on Thursday. EEK! It was Tuesday. Late afternoon. So, on Wednesday the kids and I headed to Wal-Mart. And may I take this opportunity to say that I only go to Wal-Mart in extreme emergency situations. Like devastating earthquakes. Because I loathe it. Anyway. Drew carried the list and helped me load everything into the cart. This little excursion was a great lesson in "this shopping trip is not about you." The kid is like a heat seeking missile-pulled toward all things Buzz Lightyear...

After dinner we all sat in the kitchen floor and assembled our bucket. Here is Drew with some black beans:

Big Dan helped with the packing. There were some very specific instructions for the packing. At first I was dictating and then when I left out a crucial step, Big Dan took matters into his own hands!!

Finally, everything was packed in and Drew and Big Dan put the lid on together.

We said a prayer for our bucket and I managed to get it dropped off in time. I hope our little family will bless another family with the bucket.

Before you think this moment was brought to you by Hallmark, you should know the back story. The back story being that Drew threw a complete fit in Wal-Mart as we were checking out. So heinous, in fact, that I had to put him in the buggy and cart him out as fast as possible. Then later as we were putting the bucket together I was taking pictures and he said, "Ok, but I'm NOT going to smile..." Lovely. I'm not really sure the project had the effect I was hoping for. Even after looking at some pictures of children in Haiti. The concept of others not having as much as we do seems to be lost on him. All I can hope is that somehow, these lessons will soak in, little by little.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Dish

Can I be honest with you? I'm terrified of meat. Not eating meat, mind you. I'm terrified of cooking meat. It is only now, at 33 years of age, that I am coming to terms with the fact that I really have no idea how to cook meat well. Chicken? Sure! Ground beef? No problem. But real, honest to goodness meat? No clue.

You may wonder how this happened since I am married to the world's biggest carnivore. I have no idea. Clearly, somewhere along the line I tricked him. And bless him, he doesn't bring it up. You know, just how disappointing it must be to share life with someone so clueless about beef. Don't even ask me what we ate for dinner for the first 6 years we were married, because I have no idea. Those six years were pre-kids. I worked a ton, he went to school a ton, and we ate at Ruby Tuesday's a ton. I'm sure I must have cooked dinner sometime in those years. I have a kitchen full of every gadget and utensil you could ever, ever need. I think my mind has blocked out the P.K. days (pre-kid). It's probably for the best. Remembering all the laying around I did would probably only make me bitter.

The time has come, my friends, for me to conquer the beef. I can't promise you I'll be excited to put my hands down in a big bowl of ground beef any time soon, but I'm going to learn how to cook beef.

In the past two weeks, I have made two beef dishes. The first, a braised flat-iron steak, turned out great! I even knew to slice it against the grain thanks to all those episodes of 30 Minute Meals I've watched. It's about time all the hours I've invested in Food Network paid some dividends. And tonight, I made the tastiest pot roast I've ever made. Which, granted, isn't saying much, but it was seriously delicious. I owe all the beefy goodness to the blessed Pioneer Woman. She knows about some beef, ya'll. And, thanks to her, I'm now the proud owner of a new enamel coated, cast iron dutch oven. It makes a mean pot roast.

So, beef, bring it on! I ain't skeered no more!

Saturday, March 6, 2010


Two weeks ago, the kids and I were waking up together in the same room. When we walked into the kitchen we were surrounded by some of those we love most. Out the window were the woods. We were in the mountains.

I didn't even realize how much I missed the mountains until I was driving into Maryville and could see the mountains in the distance. It took my breath away. Cliche, I know, but it's true.

My aunt and uncle have a brand spankin' new cabin in Townsend and we were lucky enough to get to use it to celebrate my mom's birthday. In attendance were Kristin, Weston & Wade; Grammy & Uncle Sam; Katy & Lyla (Van had guys weekend with his dad); and me and my kiddos. Talk about a party! We had so much fun just hanging around. And, well, let's face it-stuffing our faces!! Weston and Drew had a great time "exploring" in the woods behind the house. Drew declared that next time he was bringing his "noculars" so he could see more stuff. Saturday night we had Grammy's party. Katy made an amazing ocean cake, complete with white chocolate lollipops on top. I might have had one. Or four. Somehow, even though it was Grammy's party, the kids ended up with tons of loot! They loved sitting on Grammy's lap and helping her blow out candles. Mom's birthday present is an all-expenses paid trip to the beach with all of us later this year. Which, I mean a trip to the beach is a great gift. It might lose a few points given that the masses will be there!

On Sunday, Katy and I decided to brave the redneck element and headed over to Gatlinburg to take Drew and Lyla to the Aquarium. I'm so glad we decided to go! The kids did a super job even though it was lunch/nap time. I mean, they were amazingly good! Emily did great, too. The aquarium has all kinds of different things to look at. Drew and Lyla made quick work of getting through there! They did not stop and linger at any exhibit for long. Turns out they are both TERRIFIED of sting rays and really want nothing to do with them. I'm pretty sure this stems from a trip we made to Opry Mills once. We took all the kids to Stingray Bay and thought it would be so fun for them to get to feed the stingrays. Wrong! The first time one of those suckers slid up alongside the tank and poked its' weird head out of the water much mayhem and freaking out ensued. Apparently, they haven't forgotten.

Which brings me to the great ironic moment of our day. As with most family attractions these days, in order to exit the Aquarium, you must go through the gift shop. I already told Drew he could pick out a prize and he went in convinced he could find something with Buzz Lightyear on it. Imagine his dismay when nearly everything in the store had something to do with fish. It was an agonizing decision to say the least. And what was his final choice?? A Steve Irwin talking action figure. You know, the "Crocodile Hunter"? Who knew such a thing existed?? And for the low, low price of $4.99. I guess he felt that a talking action figure was as close as he was going to get to Buzz. Little does he know the utter tragedy that lies behind his action figure. Don't think the irony of the sting ray phobia was lost on me either. We talked all about Steve Irwin (leaving out the tragic death story...for now) and outside, after our visit, Steve Irwin saved Lyla from her distress many times. (Pausing to mention that you should have seen the ring Lyla picked out for her prize. It was huge. And blingalicious!)

Turns out Drew did know who Steve Irwin was. He had been watching a Wiggles video in the car that we checked out from the library. One of the previews was for a Wiggly Safari and the tour guide was none other than...Steve Irwin!

I'm sure Steve would be just fine jumping off benches and shouting "To Infinity and Beyond!"

Thursday, March 4, 2010

WOW of the day!

If you have known me for any time at all you know that I am a super huge advocate of getting children involved in serving and loving others. This story will blow your socks off.

I have a friend, who I met on the reflux support website, who has four amazing daughters. There are so many great stories of their tender hearts. This family has faced so much with an abundance of grace and always seek to give glory to God. Now, in honor of several friends they know, the oldest two girls, twins, are raising money for the St. Baldrick's Day Foundation for childhood cancer research. If they raise their goal they are going to SHAVE THEIR HEADS in honor of their friends.

Are you crying yet??

Think of the courage it takes for these two blonde beauties to shave their heads, and it all comes out of a heart of compassion for the kids who have no choice about their hair. Seriously. I'm loving it.

I encourage you to donate to the girls! Twin Sisters for Hope.

Ants Marching

I had planned to write about Grammy's birthday extravaganza last weekend today, but I can't. Because my house is CRAWLING WITH ANTS!!!! I am not ashamed to admit that I am completely OVER THE EDGE about the ant situation. For the past couple of years we would have a few ants here and there. Nothing we couldn't deal with on our own. But this year, the ants have attacked on a whole new level. I am so disgusted. Nothing makes you feel dirty like a bunch of bugs crawling all over your house.

I asked the ladies in my mom's club for some recommendations for exterminators. I found a good one and they told me they would be able to come out the same day. Well, hallelujah. Teresa got here and made quick work of spraying the whole bottom level with a pet/kid friendly spray (hooray!). And then she gave me the bad news. It will take 14 DAYS for the treatment to take full effect. 14 DAYS!!!! Sick. I have noticed a drop off in the amount of ants in the house, but those little suckers are resourceful. I've seen them coming in in new places. They are hiding in crazy places-LIKE INSIDE MY COMPUTER!!! I'm not kidding. I was sitting here on the computer and two came crawling out of my keyboard! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Did I mention I'm over the edge?

I think some of my stress has been misplaced on the ants. Drew is in a, well, phase. I'm pretty bummed about it.

It's much easier to scream at the ants. And more appropriate. You know, as appropriate as it is to scream.

It's only been four days. This means 10 more days of ants. There is a really good chance that I'll need to be committed before then.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

5 months!

Mark it down! I got a monthly update up on the ACTUAL day of her turning 5 months old! I'm a big fan of this picture because the top 1/3 of her shirt is covered in spit-up. I just want to keep it real for ya'll!

Emily, at 5 months you:

*Have taken your first road trip. I took you and Drew to Grammy's birthday extravaganza in Townsend last weekend. You did great in the car and pretty good on the trip as a whole. You and I slept in the bed together and man, are you wriggly! You did sleep ALL THE WAY through the night one night at Grammy's house. If you had done it more than once, I would have been forced to move in. I'm sure Grammy is relieved that you didn't!!

*You are now rolling from your back to your front. You worked hard on this skill, and once you did it for the first time, there was no looking back. Now we are in the super fun phase of rolling over to your tummy, where you hate it, and then fussing because you forgot you can roll back! Hilarious! I'm not trying to stunt your development, but I'm keeping you otherwise occupied most of the time. I did get you a little toy for tummy time. It is making it a little better. For an extra 15 seconds.

*You are having fun with short runs in the jumper and the excersaucer. I wish I had video of the first time I put you in the excersaucer. It was like Disney World to you!

*You love your Praise Baby videos so much. Better than the beloved Baby Einstein videos. I think you like them better because they have lots of kids and babies in them. You fuss when the video is over. Sometimes putting on the video is the only way I can get you to eat!

*Your stomach issues seem to have stabilized (until I publish this post, when they will inevitably take a turn for the worse). You are fully on Prevacid now without using any Tagamet. Your spitting up has good days and bad. The past week has been great with very little spitting. Your last really great puke was at Poppy's store!! You puked all over his floor and poor Danny cleaned it up! Pretty sure that is not in his job description!

*You are taking two big naps (1 morning and 1 afternoon) with a short power nap in the late afternoon. As much as I whine about your sleep, you're pretty textbook for your age.

*I know you HAVE to be working on some teeth. I haven't seen any hard evidence yet, but I know they're coming.

*You love to make spitting noises. A lot. Like until your face turns red! Ha! You have also figured out how to squeal. It is not quite the "bottle rocket" sound Drew used to make, but it's still pretty hilarious.

February to March flew by. And our March is packed full of fun, so I'm sure it will be April before we know it. Hard to believe it is just a month until you are 1/2 a year old! I love you, sweet girl!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Sleep Training Saga 2

I know you're on the edge of your seats waiting to hear how our little nap time experiment went. It went about as well as most flaming disasters go. FLAMING. DISASTER.

Little girl is definitely NOT ready to come out of her swaddle. She is a hazard to her own health with those hands of hers. Her "best" trick is pulling out her paci repeatedly even though she wants it in. She was mighty confused about what the heck I was doing. All in all she had 30 minutes of nap. Not good. Back to the drawing board. Said drawing board=calling my sisters. Kristin reminded me that Wade went through this same escaping phase and she had to start safety-pinning his swaddle. I tried that, and it turns out I'm totally lame with a safety pin. She got out and then I had to undo all the safety pins to re-wrap her.

I decided to take a break over the weekend. Remember, my sleep training strategy includes a hefty dose of "what I can handle". But, I did start wrapping her SUPER tight. It helped. I just thought I was wrapping her tightly before. I also realized in hind sight that she was going through a growth spurt. Or something that required her to eat a lot and frequently. Now that she is done with that madness, there seems to be a lot less wriggling around. Skip to Monday, when my brain was chock full of three year old mania, and I thought, "Back in the swing. Can't deal." Well, little Ms. Abs-of-Steel kept trying to sit up in the swing, in her swaddle!! Really, Jillian Michaels would be proud. Of Emily. Not me. She'd cuss me. I digress. Sitting up in the swing is not conducive to sleep, so little girl earned herself a spot in her bed. And she's been napping there ever since!!!!! Wrapped up tight like a giant burrito.

It's a good step in the right direction, and I think her night time sleep is settling down some, too. Not like, sleeping through the night settled down, but maybe not up and down 100 times. Some days you take what you can get.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Not Me! Monday

I must confess. I'm a mess. (Boo! I know, terrible. I'm running out of ways to start these posts. No more lame rhymes, I swear!) It's Monday, which means time to unload some of the not-so-proud moments in my life. Lucky for you, there are plenty! If you just can't get enough, head over to MckMama's site for more Not Me! fun.

I did not try to run two major errands, on opposite sides of town, on a Friday, at 4:30 p.m. in Nashville. I would never do that because I'm totally clued in to the major amounts of traffic that pour onto the roads at 4:30 p.m. in Nashville, especially on Friday. I have not been in my home or in my little circle of town for so long that this fact slipped my mind. No way! I would never do that. Because then I would have a preschooler with a meltdown and a hungry baby freaking out. Whew. Good thing I avoided that.

I do not watch so much Children's T.V. that I get semi-obsessed with the real life characters and their real lives. I have not been known to Google some of them to see what they're doing now, and I certainly don't find myself thinking, "Awww, I really like them. I hope they make it in show biz." Because that is sad and weird. And I'm neither. Really.

I did not send my husband off to work today in a near midriff undershirt because I'm so behind on the laundry. That would be sad. And probably uncomfortable.

I did not nearly come unhinged when my preschooler said to me, "Mommy, I'm tired of you." It did not take every ounce of my self-restraint not to say, "Oh really? Because I'm pretty dang tired of you today, too." Only a really mean mom would think that about her precious three year old. And I certainly did not throw it back in his face later, when he pitched a fit about my leaving the house. I did not say, "Remember when you said you were tired of me? Well, now's your chance for a break."

Well. Enough patting myself on the back for today. I'm sure there's more, however, it's nap time, and I have some sitting around to do.