T-R-O-U-B-L-E

I have visions of ER trips dancing in my head.

And, I'll have you know, that approximately 12 hours after I posted the 11 month update bemoaning the paci scenario, she up and adopted one of the impostors!!!!!!! (Which I realize I spelled wrong on the last post. Guh. Let me take this moment for a friendly public service announcement regarding my blog: I am aware that a) I have very bad grammar including the constant misuse of the comma b) I use the word "that" too much. I just can't stop myself... c) I use too many exclamation points. What can I say? It's all VERY exciting!! and d) despite my complete pet peeve for poor spelling, I, from time to time, misspell words. Thank you.)

So, I've decided to post about anything that needs changing, declare it will never change and maybe casually mention it to Emily. Then she will be sure to change it. It's what they call "reverse psychology", kids. I'm a parenting genius.

Overheard

I'm so hoping I will have lots of these posts as the year goes on. Today I got TWO hilarious comments.

First, in music class, a little girl grabbed a little boy's arm and he said, "Ouch! It's time for your mommy to cut your fingernails!"

~snicker~

Then, on the playground some of the boys were chasing some of the girls. One kid in particular kept talking about killing. So, the teachers were trying to explain that "killing" isn't really a nice game to play. One of the little girls looked at me and said, "But we can play killing quietly, right??"

Sure kid. Because the loud part is really what's concerning...

11 months!!

I figured since it is almost time for Emily's FIRST BIRTHDAY, I'd better go ahead and sneak in the 11 month update!



Emily, at 11 months you are one busy girl!!

*You are a crawling machine. You crawl fast and with a purpose these days and usually that purpose involves some sort of trouble! Case in point:


Your scariest trick is climbing the stairs of death in complete stealth mode. There have been MANY times that I had no idea you were even on the steps until you were already at the top!! I'm thinking of installing some barbed wire. Or, you know, a baby gate!

*You took your first steps a few weeks ago. You are getting more bold about cruising around and your balance is getting a little better. You still have Bambi legs just a little bit (the deer not a redneck woman) and you are still nervous to really take off, but I'm betting it won't be long!

*You are starting to share your opinions and they are quite strong. Sometimes you cause Drew and I to want to jump out of the car with all of your screaming. Drew often says to you, "Emily. Please. Can you just BE QUIET????"

*Speaking of Drew, he still takes really good care of you and is very good to you, but you are sort of making it hard on him. Talk about a space invader!! Anything he has, you want. And you'll screech about it until you get your way. I'll give you a little tip-this is not winning you any friends!! You also LOVE to pull his hair. A lot. Also, not so much with the winning friends! Still, though, you guys are tight. He loves you little girl, and to be sure you think he is pretty swell, too.





*Your tummy continues to be tender. Milk or any milk products are still a complete no-go. Also, a lot of times when you have any new food it will upset your stomach. You would really prefer that I ignore all of this and let you have whatever you want. Anything we are eating, you want to try. Sometimes I will let you, and you are a great eater!! I wish I could let you try some of everything. The good news is, you have not had a puking episode since JUNE!! I know we are on the way to stomach freedom!

*You continue to sport only two teeth. No other teeth seem to be in any hurry to arrive. Your brother was the same way! You are very proficient with your gums however!

*Try as I might, I cannot get you to give up your newborn soothie pacis. I've tried around 6 different varieties and this last time it was in an effort to stop all the losing of the pacis. Because those soothies??? They might as well be super balls. Once they hit the ground not only do they bounce, but they roll. This has become more troubling since you became mobile. None of this bothers you though. When I try to sneak another paci in your mouth, you swat it away in disgust. It's like you're saying, "Away from me you paci imposter!"

*Your favorite activity is playing on the couch. Anytime you are grumpy or just don't feel like doing anything, I can plop you up on the couch and you'll be laughing in mere seconds. I'm really looking forward to the day you are able to get off the couch on your own. As Daddy pointed out you can, technically, get off the couch on your own now. I would just prefer it didn't involve skull cracking.

*You love to look at books and you are very into pointing at things in the books. Specifically, we have an Elmo book and you love to point to Elmo on each page.

*You have around 2 words. First, "Buzz". You call any and all action figures "Buzz". You also know exactly what to do with them-fly them around! It's pretty hilarious to watch you. You also say, "Poop" regularly. Any time I mention changing you, you say "poop" and pull on your shirt to indicate being changed. Although having "poop" as one of your first words is not exactly warm and fuzzy, I am happy you are starting to try to communicate with something other than shrieking!

*You are doing so great staying with Aunt Katy. You love her, maybe more than you love me, and you are taking great naps at her house. This makes us both very happy!

*You should be all the way into 12 month clothes, but I am too cheap to buy you any more summer clothes. Ha! I keep thinking cooler weather is right around the corner and so you get to keep wearing your 9 month summer clothes. Luckily, mini skirts and daisy dukes are not offensive on a baby!

Emily, I am having the most fun with you. Even though you are starting to demand a little more, you are also showing more of your hilarious personality. You LOVE to laugh and you give the best hugs. I love the times in the evening when we can snuggle. I can't believe you are almost a year old! It's been a nutty year, but you have been THE BEST. We love you, Em!!! To infinity and beyond!

Compulsion

Woo-wee. It's been over a week since I've been here. And today, for some reason, I had the strongest compulsion to come on here and say, "I'm not dead!!" Because I know you have all been wondering.

I continue to get my tail-end kicked by all this working and having small children and a home thing. I think it's kind of like working out. When you haven't done it in a while those first few "day after" moments are fairly horrible. This week is just simply nut bar. And nut bar is a phrase from somewhere in my past that I can't quite place...(Perhaps a Greg Pinkner?? Just not sure...)

But, coming soon-Emily's 11 month update. It'll be quite lengthy, so you might want to plan to get a sitter so you can really hunker down and read it. I just want to give you the heads up on things like this. I'll also update you on my class, which will be worth reading about, too.

In the meantime, the RAGWEED, my word! (When I first typed that I typed "rageweed". SO TRUE) It.is.killing.me. And Drew. Last night I heard on the news that ragweed is at a record high. Which is super awesome considering allergies make my son something akin to a mix between the tasmanian devil and Chucky. And, in even better news, it won't die down until the FIRST FROST. I'm sure that's right around the corner since it continues to be 90 degrees every afternoon. I'm barely getting by since I can only take 1/2 a Zyrtec-otherwise I might as well be on Valium. Which, really, is a nice thought, but doesn't do much for all the functioning I have to do in a day.

It's 9 p.m. I'm on the verge of falling asleep as I type. And I had two cups of coffee at 6:00 p.m. I am a sight to behold.

My Mac-gical Weekend

I hope ya'll have enjoyed your Labor Day holiday! Labor Day weekend is one of my faves, you know. It's not really my affinity for the labor movement, but rather what the day communicates-Fall is coming!! And this past weekend did not disappoint.

Kristin, the kids, and Grammy came down for a visit. It had been way too long since we had seen each other and we were all starting to get the twitches. This is what happens when we get family withdrawals. I didn't even know how much I was missing them until they were here and I was experiencing some serious euphoria!! The weather was picture perfect and we got outside with the kids. We introduced Aunt Kristin to Edwin Warner's nature playground. The kids had a blast getting covered from head to toe in mud. I warned her they'd get dirty. Thank goodness! There was one family there who had clearly not been before. The little girl had a matchy outfit on more suited for shopping at the mall. Rookie mistake. Been there. Remember when I took Lyla and she was wearing a white dress and bloomers??

Saturday night it was time for some ROCKY TOP, baby!! We ordered up the game (which we should have skipped. We ended up turning it down and finding the Bob Kessling broadcast from Knoxville...almost as good as John Ward...almost...) You have never seen grown women more excited about a football game kick-off. We insisted the kids sit and watch as the Vols ran through the Power T. They were annoyed, but the burden of Vol spirit transference rests on our shoulders! Yes, it's a slight sickness. You're just jealous!

Did I mention the weather?? I could feel that little twinge of Fall in the air and it was making me giddy. Combined with my Paula Deen Mystery Pecan Pie candle it was like the weekend could not get any better. And then it did.

I am typing to you RIGHT NOW on a brand new-to-me Macbook brought to you by the mac-gical genius of Uncle Jon. I am forever in debted to the Kelleys. An indentured servant if you will, because they have saved my cheese repeatedly over the last month. Uncle Jon coming through with the computer, well, I teared up and swore to hug him the next time I saw him. Which means he'll probably steer clear until the emotion wears off...But, seriously? Beyond the call of family and I could NOT be appreciating them more. I told Katy if I had a million dollars, I would totally give it to them. Kind of an empty promise since I don't actually HAVE a million dollars, but a heartfelt sentiment nonetheless.

School starts Wednesday. I'm excited. The only thing I'm nervous about is remembering the schedule. Oh, and my lesson plans. Thinking about more than one thing at a time is going to be really taxing. I need a nap just thinking about it...

Catch Me If You Can!

Ya'll. I feel like a racehorse who's had a bit too much running and being slapped on the sides and starts sweating and foaming from the mouth. I am tired.

Today was "Meet the Teacher" day today and by some miraculous happening I was ready. And by miraculous happening I mean Katy staying with me at school until MIDNIGHT last night. She had a date with some clear tape and kept me from wandering around my room in a daze. And believe me, it was a big job. I could NOT be doing my life without Aunt Katy right now.

Right now, my overwhelming emotion is relief. Relief that my kids are done with the hard childcare situation. Relief that Emily no longer has to nap in the scary Jesus room. We have started her therapy fund for when she fears all religious symbols someday. Relief that the meetings and paperwork are almost finished and I can get on with teaching my kids.

Don't get me wrong, I still have a TON of stuff to do, but I won't be doing any of it tonight or tomorrow! I don't have to be back at school until Tuesday. Praise ye the Lord. And then our "normal" schedule will start, although September is packed full of extra meetings and Open House potlucks.

Meeting my kids was a complete delight. Some of them are teeny, tiny! I forget that Drew is a big giant. I have five boys and three girls and of the ones I've met, I think they are going to be great together as a group. I know they will grow and change SO MUCH over the year.

I'm not even sure this post is coherent. If not, just nod and smile and whisper a "Bless Her Heart" and be sure that I know I'm nuts. And you know what they say. Knowing is half the battle...