Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Christmas-The Day After

If you've been reading here for any length of time, you probably know that the day after Christmas is my very favorite day of the year.  So, in the spirit of that-Happy December 26th!

I hope your Christmas was just what you hoped it would be.

We had a great Christmas.  And it was mostly because I didn't have any major hopes concerning what it would be.  This year, the theme of my Christmas was "The Christmas of flexibility".

In the past, I have been a little dictator-esque when it comes to Christmas.  I love to have my house decorated perfectly, presents in matching paper and big cloth bows, lots of festivities, fun, and of course, appetizers.

The last three years of my life have been all about letting go of what I want, and leaning into what is.

So, lean in I did.  My plans changed all the way up until the last minute.  I got the cheapest Christmas cards I could (and mostly just felt proud I had one.  Even if the picture was of poor quality...)  I bought exactly zero new wrapping paper and just used what I had on hand.  I wrapped all my gifts with packing tape.  Big Dan's gift came in a big box and it looked awesome with two different kinds of paper on it.  I prepared nothing for Christmas morning breakfast.  Emily had a chocolate Santa first thing in the morning.  I did cook breakfast, just later.  No stressing the night before.  Santa got all the kids' stocking stuffers at the Dollar Tree (he LOVES that place), and I made my husband and my brother-in-law fend for themselves for lunch.  Which, of course, was chinese because it was the only thing open!

And guess what?  Christmas was still wonderful!  My children will still have wonderful memories from this Christmas without all the trappings and guilt I've heaped on in years past.  The truth is, none of it matters at all.  That's the whole point.  The whole point God has been imprinting on me over an over.  I'm a slow learner.  It is who I am to want everything to be It is sometimes confusing that God would create us one way only to seemingly spend our whole lives working it out of us. But, I guess what He is working out is the dark parts of who we are.  He is moving us toward the version of ourselves we can't even see.  It's who He's made us to be without all the trash.

The potter's wheel, the refining fire, the winepress, the threshing floor.  None of these are places of comfort or laziness.  I think I have spent lots of time in my life building altars to comfort and safety.  Sometimes those altars look pretty and organized. Wrapped up with big cloth bows.  The truth is, comfort and safety are tyrants.

So, I did my part this Christmas to chip away at the chains.  I loved every single minute of being with my family.  The letting go felt really good.  Maybe next year I'll wrap with duct tape.

Peace and Blessings!


Heather S. said...

eschet chayil!!! I read your post shortly before reading Jen Hatmaker's post ( and I thought of you. Keep up the good, good work you are doing, with or without the fancy bows :)

Jen said...

beautiful heart and writing. I love you. I prayed for you much during this season even if I didn't express it.