Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ho-Ho-Ho

Drew is totally tuned into the person of Santa this year. I'm not sure he exactly has the whole thing figured out, but he does get that he is supposed to be excited about him. And he has been. There is a giant, blow-up Santa down the street and he is pretty obsessed with him. So, last weekend, Daniel and Drew had some guy time and went out to Bass Pro Shops. They had Santa there, and somehow, Daniel talked Drew into sitting on his lap. Sadly, we only have a hard copy of the picture. I'll tell you it was only slightly less sad than this one:



The total added bonus of this year's picture is the giant stuffed caribou in the background!!

You might be wondering what I was doing while the guys were having guy time. Oh, I'll tell ya! Massage!! There is a fabulous day spa really close to my house and I have been lucky enough to procure a few gift certificates over the past year (Thanks Jane, Dan and Karen!!!). I don't get a ton of time to go, so I still have quite a few dollars to use. =) As I was getting my massage, I realized there are many, many ways that a massage could easily turn into the most embarrassing moment of one's life. Let me explain. I have made the controversial decision to use a male masseuse. This is quite unlike me given that I am, probably, the world's most modest human. How did this happen, you ask? By accident. The last time I scheduled an appointment no one asked the all important "Do you have a preference male/female?" question. So, imagine my surprise, when a GUY came and called my name. I was completely panicked. Completely. Panicked. But, because I am the kind of person who doesn't want to ever hurt anyone's feelings (it's a sickness...I'm working on it) I just went with it. It was THE most amazing massage I have ever had. Ever. So, the decision was sort of made for me. Bring on Jeremiah!!

Ok, so back to the quick slide to most embarrassing moment. First, they walk you into the little room with your robe on, tell you to get undressed and then tell you they'll be back in a moment. Ok, I'll be honest, I take the robe off and jump under that sheet faster than greased lightning. Heaven forbid they walk back in and see you without the robe! Then there's the whole face in the hole scenario. I feel like a complete moron with my face hanging down like that. And this past time there was drooling. I could feel it coming, and I could see his shoes down there...oh crap I'm going drool on his shoe, stop! stop! Ugh, there it is. I drooled on his shoe.

I also don't do great forming words when I'm 100% relaxed. This guys is not a big talker, which is a bonus, but every now and then he has to ask the perfunctory masseuse questions like "Is the pressure ok?" What do you think he makes of my response when it is "umsrhekmph". And then finally there comes the end when he says, "Take your time getting up and I'll be waiting for you in the hall". How long is too long to lay there you think? Because really, I'd like to take about a 4 hour nap. Would he still be waiting in the hall for me? What if I fell asleep? Would they eventually come in? So, in my pleaser fashion, I hop right up (and get a massive head rush) and scurry to the hallway. And then he says his usual blah, blah-drink some water, you might have some muscle soreness. Let's get real, he really wants to say, "Thanks a lot for drooling on my shoe, and by the way, why don't you take a giant chill pill?! You're the most tangled up mess I've ever dealt with!"

1 comment:

Janette said...

Oh gosh, Kelly...I needed a good laugh, so thanks! I'm glad you were able to enjoy your massage!