Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Why a mom will make a great V-P

Ok. All of my beloved left-leaning libs can just calm down. This is for fun! And, I think you'll agree, being a mom is a training ground like no other.

Being a mom is quite a job. We've all heard it (or said it) before. We know moms work hard, but have you ever really stopped to think about the diverse training a mother gets on a daily basis? No? Well, here are some things moms deal with that make them well prepared to lead a nation.

Negotiating with Tyrants
Any mother of a toddler gets bossed around WAY more than she bosses anyone around.  In the course of a day the mother of a toddler negotiates her way out of many treacherous situations.  She is an expert in bribery, trickery, and distraction.  No international leader would even appear formidable to a mom after a trip to the grocery store with a grumpy kid.  At least he (or she) won't scream, kick, or lay on the floor like a limp noodle. 

Understanding Foreign Tongues
Drew and I have this issue with his bed currently.  And it is all wrapped up in the fact that I have absolutely no idea what he's talking about.  I think it has something to do with a bug.  Under his bed?  In his bed?  Not sure.  He gets really mad anytime I try to look under the bed.  And this is one of many, many situations where I have to rely on my best instincts to interrupt some very sketchy body language and half-words.  All moms have been there.  A mom VP could walk into a foreign country, carrying with her all her best mother understanding and interpret any tough political situation down to the minute details-just by watching the gestures!

Handling the Media
If you've ever watched a press conference, you know the press is especially adept at asking the same question about 157 different ways.  Moms have this one licked.  Not only do moms answer the same question many times a day (while employing all the above stated skills), they answer it in many settings, dealing with many other tasks at the same time.  Let's just say, for example, that some random mom bribed her 21 month old child with a sucker.  If he was good in the craft store, he could have a sucker.  Then, just for the sake of argument, let's just say, he didn't exactly behave in the store.  So, he was told he would not be getting a sucker.  But like those pesky reporters, he just couldn't take no for an answer.  On the way home, in the middle of rush hour traffic, he hypothetically asked about the sucker 1.1 million times.  And I (and by "I" I mean the random character I've created) handled myself in a very professional VP-like manner. Hypothetically. 

Creative budgeting
We all know the President and VP aren't really responsible for the economy (you do know that, right??) but we all also know that the general public thinks they are.  A mom knows, like no one else, how to stretch a buck.  Be it diluting the juice (because it's healthier!!), using coupons, making homemade cleaners, or driving slower to conserve gas (or so I've heard...) moms know the rules of creative spending.

So see?  Nothing qualifies you to run a gigantic country more than being a mom.  

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