Monday, December 14, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Welcome back to Not Me! Monday where I try to find the humor in the idiotic things I do-all in an effort to avoid curling up into the fetal position and sucking my thumb. Don't forget to visit all the other perfect moms linked up over at MckMama's site!

Last week I did not RSVP to a Mom's Club event thinking it was happening in the morning, when it was really happening in the evening. At 7:45 p.m.-also known as "almost bedtime". I did not go ahead and attend said event because it was a project get together and everyone had to pay their share of the project. And the host definitely did not miscalculate the individual cost by $7. Lucky, or else I would've been out way past bedtime and out $12 instead of $5. Good thing none of this actually happened to me.

Because if it had happened, I might be so nuts by the time I got home that just getting my supplies together for the night would have proved overly challenging. I might have dropped my phone off the bedside table, forgotten about it, and spent a good 15 minutes walking around with Big Dan's phone trying to find mine. If any of this had happened, I might have heard my phone downstairs, when, in actuality, it was upstairs...under my bed. If these events had taken place, it might have dawned on me 15 minutes later that I remembered dropping something earlier. It might have been my phone waaaaayyyyy under the bed. Good thing none of this happened, or I would've had to wedge myself waaaaayyyy back under the bed to reach my phone, and then my husband would've caught me and said (something along the lines of...) "What on earth are you doing?" Not me! My life runs like a well oiled machine, so none of this would have ever happen to me.

Finally, last night I did not realize at the last minute that Drew was out of overnight Pull-ups and have to run to the store to get them AT bedtime. Not me! I am not so obsessed with my new couponing madness that I did not buy a new brand of nighttime sleep wear just because it was on sale and I had a coupon. My dad might, but not me! And since I did not buy the new brand of sleep wear, I definitely did not get the wrong size, leading my son to come downstairs in what looked like an adult depends on his skinny body. I did not laugh really hard, because it did not happen. So naturally, my husband (who was definitely not exasperated, and definitely did not say repeatedly, "I just don't understand...") did not have to go BACK to the store to get the right Pull-ups. AT bedtime.

I would just feel plain sorry for anyone this happened to.


Crayon Wrangler said...

I enjoyed your "Not Me" so much, I totally ignored the kids while I sat reading your archives!

You are a funny lady and I love your writing "voice" So good to meet you!

jon. said...

i really want to see drew in some depends! that is such a funny picture in my head right now.